Will it be like this?

February 11, 2009 07:17:13 Posted at February 11, 2009 07:17:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was reported yesterday, by People of course, that John Mayer will be gifting Jennifer Aniston, in honour of her 40th birthday TODAY, with a brand new song written especially for the occasion. The question posed in the original article was Rossum or Romantic Full Story

GOOPy and the girls

February 11, 2009 07:09:35 Posted at February 11, 2009 07:09:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gwyneth Paltrow last night in at the 14th Annual Saks Fifth Avenue Unforgettable Evening event for cancer research – G is wearing the dreaded shiny fabric. Lumpy Gwynnie? Of course not. Not with a brilliantly cut Balmain jacket. They say it’s all about shoulders this year… And always, always shoes. Full Story

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February 11, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

February 11, 2009 06:25:55 Posted at February 11, 2009 06:25:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy Birthday Rachael B. in Bermuda!! Looking forward to dinner tomorrow night....watch out - the mommies are on the loose!! Love, Julie xx To Liisa H. for putting on Marie-Josée's baby shower! It was a great time! Thank you Liisa! Hugs, Rej"  Full Story

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The Westminster Dog Show will be crowning a new winner this week. You know how at beauty pageants, the outgoing Miss will take a final waving stroll, as her comments are broadcast on overhead speaker (!), before the new queen is announced? Imagine Uno making his last lap – it’s been a busy 12 months.

But for an entire year, I have endured the sounds of my husband huffing and puffing over the injustice. Because we have a beagle too. And my husband, he is That Guy. My beagle is the best. My beagle is the most beautiful. As he loudly (and crudely) announced yesterday – MY beagle could be licking his asshole and he’d still be cuter than Uno. Then he decided to put it to a photo challenge.

This is why parents end up in fistfights at hockey games.

Thank you for your Grammy and BAFTA emails yesterday! It was a LOOOOOONG column – 48 articles in total and 10,000 words. Scroll down and get caught up if you haven’t!

Tuesday – am blogging all day, but there won’t be Rihanna/Chris Brown updates every 15 minutes on her injuries. TMZ.com is good for that. Let’s focus on some fun smut, shall we? In times like these we turn to Porny Simpson. She has healing powers.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Where’s Winona?

February 10, 2009 17:24:12 Posted at February 10, 2009 17:24:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the Berlin Film Festival today – the premiere of The Private Lives of Pippa Lee starring Robin Wright as Pippa, Blake Lively as young Pippa, Keanu Reeves as Chris, and Winona Ryder perfectly cast as Sandra … But where is Winona? Has Winona been seen ever since that weird jewellery debacle Full Story

Wedding Porn

February 10, 2009 14:39:11 Posted at February 10, 2009 14:39:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

W.T.F. ???????????????????? The going rate for Fergie’s wedding photos must have been low rate. Because it’s the only explanation behind these images. Have you seen them? So. Sad. Sad that the only way she could get anyone to care is by promising that she and her Josh Duhamel would get into bed together and allow themselves to be photographed tenderly. Full Story

Celebrity Dumbass

February 10, 2009 12:26:44 Posted at February 10, 2009 12:26:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This could be a daily feature. Today’s installment includes Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, and Scarlett Johansson. Let’s start with the sanctimonious husband and wife. Ashton has taken to Twitter and posted a video on his page that is supposed to illustrate how difficult it is to “navigate” through the sea of paps waiting to harass them at the airport yesterday en route to Germany. Full Story

The Best Kind of Apology

February 10, 2009 11:17:18 Posted at February 10, 2009 11:17:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Take two. JailBait was told by Disney after pressure from Asian advocacy groups to rewrite her apology because the first time wasn’t good enough. In this climate, no one wants to piss off investors. It always comes down to money, non? So anyway, Miley Cyrus posted another message on her blog: "I want to thank all of my fans for their support not only this week, but always! I really wanted to stress how sorry I am if the photo of me with my friends offended anyone. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

February 10, 2009 11:07:12 Posted at February 10, 2009 11:07:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What John should really have given Jen for her birthday (Dlisted)

Blake Lively in pink – more boring than ever (Hollywood Tuna)

I love Sandra Bullock so much (Just Jared)

Leonardo DiCaprio’s major c-ck boost (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Ryan Gosling + a dog = Epic Quiver (Pop Sugar)

Get in bed with Porny Simpson! (INO)

Ricky Gervais thinks you’re stupid (Cele|bitchy)

Je t’aime Gisele! (Popoholic)

RDJ hugs waiters! (Holy Moly)

Salma’s breasts challenge The Jolie (The Blemish)

Porny & the Dukes!

February 10, 2009 09:47:52 Posted at February 10, 2009 09:47:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She makes me so happy. No matter what the reason, most of us can agree…Jessica Simpson makes us smile. It doesn’t have to be a “with her” smile. It can be an “at her” smile. Most of the time it’s a “what the f-ck are you doing but please don’t stop” smile. Full Story

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The Annual Contest 2009!

February 10, 2009 09:34:00 Posted at February 10, 2009 09:34:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For weeks we've been handicapping the Oscar drama, the tightest race in years, and the behind-the-scenes intrigue and shenanigans that have characterised this current campaign. Time to put that knowledge to good use. It's The Annual Contest! Predict the most correct categories, win some kick ass prizes. Full Story