Madonna & Lourdes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 2, 2009 06:48:46 September 2, 2009 06:48:46

On stage together! Last night, the 2nd last night in Tel Aviv, Lourdes joined her mom on stage for Give It To Me. At the final Sticky & Sweet show this evening, she’s expected to jump up again as she’s been practising the choreography for weeks. Lola has been making a splash… Yesterday it was her moves at the end of the Celebration video – click here Full Story

September 2, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 2, 2009 06:40:56 September 2, 2009 06:40:56

A SCREAMING SHOUT-OUT to Angelica from ecstatically proud mom Rebecca – Happy 22nd Birthday! And congratulations on the dream job! For Alice, the only person I know who could likely run a marathon in stilettos, Congrats on escaping the evil soul-sucking corporate hell and on moving to New York in a few short weeks! Yours in Crumbs and chocolate, the CB Committee. Full Story

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Last week it was the headline f-ckery – click here for a refresher - and this week it’s an exclusive interview with Chris Brown and his mother, going so far as to print his statements in defence against criticism he received about claiming he did not remember beating Rihanna during his interview with Larry King.

As you know, the interview airs tomorrow. A one minute clip was released on Monday with an inarticulate Brown unable to describe under Larry’s soft questioning exactly what went down the night he abused his girlfriend.

Brown was immediately called out for it, even by Ryan Seacrest, generally a sycophant without the balls to have an opinion.

So Chris Brown ran to People.com, delivering a lengthy explanation that his words were taken out of context, pleading with the MiniVan to forgive him, promising he would fulfill God’s destiny. After all, his mom wrote in a statement last week that “this whole thing isn't about Chris, it's about God. He wants to show all of you the goodness of him through Chris.”

God’s work through Chris Brown via People Magazine?

It’s like People is his mouthpiece now. Totally onside with the Chris Brown rehabilitation program, eager to help restore his popularity, not interested at all in asking the tough questions and never demanding the appropriate contrition.

Not surprising. People’s philosophy is to live inside the celebrity anal cavity. Yay for People Magazine! Yay for beating down your girlfriend!

It’s Tuesday – am home, am online all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

So blonde

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 14:24:50 September 1, 2009 14:24:50

When did the Alba Bitch get so blonde? She’s hardly worth paying attention to these days, I can’t remember. Jessica Alba, you see, finds herself in the same professional hole as Jessica Biel these days. Call her if you need a great body. The Alba Demon however when she’s now scowling, which isn’t often, has a face. Full Story

It’s time for Whitney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 12:30:09 September 1, 2009 12:30:09

I was a blubbering mess when I saw Whitney at the listening session in New York earlier this summer. Click here to read the article. Whitney’s new album I Look To You is available now. A true superstar declaring that it’s time we stop f-cking around with the pretenders. Full Story

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Caleb for a very pregnant lady

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 11:37:10 September 1, 2009 11:37:10

Just received this adorable email from Sandra in Barrie validating why I never want to have a child. Sandra, however, is about to have her third. “So I'm just a few days away from meeting my 3rd babe...a boy after 2 lovely girls. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm achy,...way to pitch motherhood, huh? LOL But lately my spirits have been lifted with any Kings of Leon sightings (Caleb mostly!), Brad Pitt, or the Coop. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 11:17:08 September 1, 2009 11:17:08

Jennifer Aniston horrid taste – another failure (Dlisted)

30 seconds on tv, fine. Full feature? Bad idea (Just Jared)

Blake Lively, mall girl (Hollywood Tuna)

I see Michelle, I see Matilda, but where’s the dog? (Pop Sugar)

But…he’s already admitted he has a small penis…? (INO)

Whitney Port goes to clown school (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Never mind the engagement. How the f-ck did she win something? (ASL)

Lolita P on Sunday (Popoholic)

The Immortals are expanding (PopEater)

Will she be like Demi and deny, deny, deny? (The Superficial)

So many Poshes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 09:21:40 September 1, 2009 09:21:40

Remember that ad Victoria Beckham shot in London a few weeks ago? On a swing? For her dress collection? Click here to see the images. Well now the commercial has been released. Below. The only Posh you see is at the very end, a corner of her head and her arm as she surveys all her clones. Full Story

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Celebration Lourdes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 08:53:56 September 1, 2009 08:53:56

The video for Madonna’s new single Celebration has just been released online. The smutty buzz coming out of the clip is the inclusion of Jesus Luz, and the way he and Madge pretend to be lovers as she takes his jacket off and moves in to kiss him. Ugh. Am so over whatever she wants us to believe and this farce of a romance. Full Story

There’s the strut

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:58:07 September 1, 2009 07:58:07

Oprah fans and the MiniVan just squealed. It’s Carrie Bradshaw, sister idol to a generation of toned down Sex & the City watchers on TBS, re-emerging in New York to shoot the sequel. Because the first one didn’t suck enough. The heels, the familiar strut, the bony ass legs, and a very soft light, not unlike the light used in the Mighty Opesie’s studio, to make sure Carrie looks nothing like the haggard new mother of twins. Full Story

All the Chicken Fried BooBoos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:19:55 September 1, 2009 07:19:55

Gathered in one place. Poolside. Miami. Yesterday. Britney with her sons, sister, and niece at their luxe hotel, enjoying some downtime between shows. It’s easy to forget both girls are still so young. Britney is still only 27. And Jamie Lynn just turned 18 in April. Babies! So many babies! Jamie Lynn was not accompanied by her baby daddy Casey and Britney’s agent boyfriend Jason Trawick has not been seen with her in a few weeks, prompting speculation that it’s already over. Full Story

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