FNL > J&K+8

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 20:01:58 May 26, 2009 20:01:58

Ugh. Almost 10 million watched that f-ckery Jon & Kate can’t afford to support all their babies so they exploit them on tv show last night. 10 MILLION. This morning I was on The John Gormley Show (he’s adorable and I love him) and he got me on this rant about J&K and I was like, dude, I’m a gossip columnist. Full Story

Shelfy got no Front Ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 17:00:04 May 26, 2009 17:00:04

Imitators to the left. Yes, Jessica Biel, that’s you. Shelfy has a Shelf Ass but her ass is nothing compared to the Original Ass Jennifer Lopez... oh la. It’s JLo on the set of The Back-up Plan today in work out gear to accentuate all her lovely curves. What’s the mark of a legendary ass? An ass for all time? It’s the kind of ass you can see from the FRONT. Full Story

Deformed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 13:35:12 May 26, 2009 13:35:12

A proud moment last night: my husband was cussing his balls off at NHL09 when inspiration struck. Him: I don’t care who she is. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world. #1 on my Freebie 5. But if she gets implants she is dead to me. A dealbreaker. Me: what if I get implants? Him: divorce Me: So can I get a breast reduction? Him: don’t take the Lord’s name in vain. Full Story

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You want this bag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 11:04:07 May 26, 2009 11:04:07

It’s Karl. At the airport in Nice. I mean... I just... Love him SO much. If I could redo my youth, I’d like to spend my gap year in his presence as his style slave, existing on his verbal abuse and dying inside at his indifference. Anyway, have you heard about this book? Merci Karl! by his former assistant – an expose on Lagerfeld Full Story

Anyone can be Angelina Jolie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 10:49:00 May 26, 2009 10:49:00

And Evangeline Lilly could have totally been Angelina Jolie. This is what she’s telling Women’s Health. “It frustrates (producers) that they've given me this chance to become the next Angelia Jolie" but apparently Evangeline never wanted that for herself. Remember, this is also a girl who feels her beauty has always been a burden. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 10:20:45 May 26, 2009 10:20:45

So many women want to look like this. I hate people. (Dlisted)

I disagree about this MILF (Hollywood Tuna)

Yes. Please taunt us with your beautiful child (Just Jared)

Best actress tries to quit smoking (The Superficial)

Becks and a little girl! Awwww! (Pop Sugar)

Another reason why Karl hates Klum (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Twi-hards simultaneously orgasm (INO)

Going bald for Mimi!!!! (Cele|bitchy)

Jerry Springer goes to London (Holy Moly)

This is Avril...but it could totally be Miley (The Blemish)

She’s singing again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 09:07:00 May 26, 2009 09:07:00

Scarlett Johansson. This time an album of duets with Pete Yorn called Break Up that was recorded before her Tom Waits f-ckery in 2006 due out on September 8th but the first single Relator is available today. Click here to listen. It’s actually. Full Story

Scabby and Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 08:44:34 May 26, 2009 08:44:34

Not together, no. But can you imagine? They were however both at the beach yesterday in Malibu. Spittle and his weird spittle mouth looking like he’s posing for the paps and the Filthy Canadian Scab in white, as usual, with the man they’re calling her latest – apparently they met at a deluxe trailer park – enjoying Memorial Day Monday. Full Story

Goodnight Saigon SNL

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 07:50:04 May 26, 2009 07:50:04

My husband’s hero. He memorises Will’s facial expressions. Like that part in Old School when Frank the Tanks hits off the beer funnel for the first time in years and it touches his mouth and he’s all like – it's so good once it hits your lips. For my husband, this is one of the greatest scenes in the history of movies. Full Story

Marriage repair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 07:29:00 May 26, 2009 07:29:00

A couple months ago they were on life support. Kate Beckinsale had taken off for London without warning husband Len Wiseman, stayed there a month, found daughter Lily a new school, leaving Len supposedly baffled about what prompted her decision. Her rep vehemently denied there was anything wrong between the two. Full Story

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A list at the beach

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 07:01:20 May 26, 2009 07:01:20

Are Tom Hanks’s jeans too tight? I don’t want Tom Hanks to be Tight Jeans Guy. Not his best moment. So apparently Joel Silver threw a Memorial Day party or something and a lot of famous people showed up including Tom and Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Hm. Jakey looks hot in that hat. Full Story

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