Referees and Ballerinas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 09:14:21 May 22, 2009 09:14:21

Here’s Elsa Pataky at the amfAR event last night. If you blink quickly enough you’ll see her moving up and down on your screen.  Or...Pass Interference.  Miami number 23. Automatic...First Down! Is this fashionable? Is she ahead of the curve? Cause I don’t see it. She should stick to castles, saving Africa, and plumbing. Full Story

amfAR Cannes 2009 Best Discovery

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 08:32:00 May 22, 2009 08:32:00

So the other day Lainey wrote that I wouldn’t leave her alone until we posted something about Shu Qi. Here she is at the amfAR event last night confirming that I was totally right to insist. Angelic is the word here I believe. Except for the one shot where she’s got a little bent-face going on. Full Story

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My take on Rob

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 08:15:00 May 22, 2009 08:15:00

Here’s a little more Rob for the Twi-hards and horny cougars (is that rude?). Robert Pattinson at the amfAR auction with Sharon Stone and later leaving the hotel to attend a premiere. What can I say about Rob? Overall, a good looking guy. Like Guillaume, has the whole chisel thing going on with the character nose. Full Story

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On the terrace - Laura's POV

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 07:49:38 May 22, 2009 07:49:38

Lainey:Many of you have written to ask about Laura's perspective on the terrace at the du Cap the other night. When she tried not to eyef-ck Robert Pattinson too obviously. Others have emailed to say you'd prefer Laura's account because mine lacked enthusiasm. And a few twi-hards hated on me for not taking his picture. Full Story

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amfAR Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 07:11:40 May 22, 2009 07:11:40

Check out this set of photos of Ebola and her new boyfriend at amfAR last night. Oooops! I dropped my bracelet! It was like, a total accident! It was on my…and now its…oh wait...he's not picking it up for me! But I’m such a lady and I’ve found myself such a fine man!?! Dude looks confused in the couple of shots that follow. Full Story

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amFAR Hottest

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 06:50:13 May 22, 2009 06:50:13

Here’s Marion Cotillard with Guillaume Canet last night at amfAR looking f-in’ hot as usual. Quick side bar. First time I made a point of figuring out who Marion was is when I saw that Dior Eiffel Tower ad. You know which one I’m talking about. Attached it for your reference. That thing screams sex doesn’t it? And not dirty sex either. Full Story

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May 22, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2009 06:39:52 May 22, 2009 06:39:52

Good luck to Danielle and her team who are off to Rochester NY this weekend for the Roc City Ribfest & KCBS BBQ Competition. Eat lots and drink well. Congrats to Gunpreet got into UBC Med School from your sister Kamneev! No Taylor Kitsch hook-ups to tell you about (Lainey might) but I can tell you that you’re out of your mind if you think Chris Pine is good looking. Full Story

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Oh Brange.

It’s my annual dose of Pitt Porn. The Pitt Porn in Cannes is extra potent. Has rejuvenating powers. We were flagging a bit yesterday, running around, and then they came on the carpet and the world was better again…even though we could have been trampled. The crowd surged when they arrived. And the crowd at the back, once their faces were put up on the big screens, surged even more.

The crying, the calling out, the hysteria, the gasps, the desperate screams, for many fans last night, seeing the royal Brange was like a born again experience. Meanwhile I was waiting for him to paw her ass. Alas, no ass pats this time. But plenty of neck and thigh stroking. And in the end a very loud declaration that they are right and fine. Details below.

Also a smutty and satisfying Ebola story, my Marion and Guillaume’s romantic dinner, on the terrace with Emile Hirsch and Robert Pattinson, and much more from Cannes.

It’s Thursday, no breaks today. Just blogging. But when I can’t blog, I tweet…often assisted by Grey Goose. Check my Twitter here.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Am receiving your emails – thank you! Not sure why you keep receiving a notification that my inbox is over capacity because it’s not. Emails are arriving in triple. Love hearing from you! Keep sending!

Desperate Ebola in Cannes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2009 12:33:22 May 21, 2009 12:33:22

The Croisette has been contaminated this week by Ebola Paris Hilton and that loser it’s been dragging around as its boyfriend. We’ve managed to avoid infection thus far, have not run into them at any parties. Fingers crossed. Should probably stay away from VIP Room tonight though. It’s Christian Audigier’s birthday celebration for starters, and on top of all the euro Ed Hardy wearing douchebags, adding that f-cking virus to the scene is bound to result in major disease. Full Story

Are you borrowing from your wife?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2009 11:01:42 May 21, 2009 11:01:42

Last night at the American Idol final – Keith Urban performed. I’m here in Cannes, didn’t watch, but going from these photos… is there something new about his face? Did Granny Freeze buy him some fillers? Look at that. That is fresh and new and definitely de-lined, non? Or maybe it’s that he’s too orange. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2009 10:30:11 May 21, 2009 10:30:11

Where I live isn’t only about Twilight (Dlisted)

Meth Face + Sateen = horrid sh-ts (Hollywood Tuna)

Yeah my ‘mo gave me a ring too (The Superficial)

Robo, what the f-ck are you WEARING? (Pop Sugar)

Disco ball uterus (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

That thing on her leg just about sums up her style (Just Jared)

Massage parlour trash spawns (Cele|bitchy)

I want this bikini (Popoholic)

Chicken Fried hard thighs (The Blemish)

Tori Spelling can’t shake KFed Jr (INO)