Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

We bonded last night, my husband and I, over our mutual horror watching Nicole Kidman’s arctic tundra on Oprah. Marcus had decided to spend part of the evening sleeping on dad’s lap, effectively pinning him to the couch, and instead of subjecting him to Gossip Girl (which came later) I offered up Granny Freeze and Hot Hugh. He accepted. This is marriage.

And then we spent the next hour freeze framing on her freeze face.

My husband is not prone to dramatics. But at one point, when Nicole almost had an aneurysm trying to squeeze out an emotion, he actually yelped from terror, eliciting a series of grumbles from our dickshi-t of a beagle expressing his displeasure about being disturbed. Granny Freeze disturbed Marcus.

But it’s the two level top lip!

Were you fascinated by the two level top lip? More on that later.
Tuesday – am blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Posted late yesterday – scroll down to get caught up.

PPS. Make-A-Wish is celebrating 25 years in Canada, granting wishes and creating hope and happiness for children living with life-threatening illnesses. The Awesome Anniversary Auction is one of the ways the organisation is commemorating this milestone. CLICK HERE to find out how to bid on a list of amazing prizes in support of future wishes!

Consolation Shopping

November 11, 2008 17:27:10 Posted at November 11, 2008 17:27:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Poor Posh lost out to a ragged Jennifer Aniston for the December issue of Vogue. To date, Anna Wintour has yet to bless Mrs Beckham with her approval on the cover. To soothe her sorrows, Victoria decided to head to the mall for some fun times with her youngest son Cruz. She totally dressed down for the occasion too. Full Story

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Posh can’t top this???

November 11, 2008 14:54:00 Posted at November 11, 2008 14:54:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What does Victoria Beckham want more than anything in life? More than anything, Victoria Beckham wants, needs, dreams of, salivates over, is begging for a US Vogue cover. And that amazing bitch Anna Wintour won’t give her one. So can you imagine what Posh must be thinking? Today of all days when she sees the magazine’s December cover featuring a less than ideal looking Jennifer Aniston? The sun is catching up to the face, non? Poor Posh is probably punishing herself over this. Full Story

Pippy’s so man!

November 11, 2008 13:05:29 Posted at November 11, 2008 13:05:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pip’s balls may not have dropped all the way, but he swaggers like he’s a real man, all badass and ready to rumble with his security close behind him prepped to jump in as he confronts a pap for shooting him while he’s eating. Video is below. Do you remember Pipper on Punkd? When he practically wet his pants? Just as bonus, I’m throwing that in too. Full Story

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Humphrey Hate-on

November 11, 2008 10:02:00 Posted at November 11, 2008 10:02:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

They say Brooklyn is cool. If Brooklyn is so cool, why do the Humphreys live there? Because the Humphreys all suck ass. All of them. Ugh. Last night’s Gossip Girl wasn’t the best. Probably because there wasn’t enough Chuck. Mostly because there was too much Dan. And Jenny. And that smarmy too hipster little Aaron is a cheese noodle. Full Story

Twitchy and coloured

November 11, 2008 08:07:10 Posted at November 11, 2008 08:07:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Lilo on Access Hollywood with Maria Menounos promoting her leggings line and talking about the election…because it’s so important what Lindsay Lohan thinks about the election? Well… Actually… Many people are convinced that in this clip she calls Obama the first “coloured” president. Full Story

Jennifer Aniston: weak, Bruno, and Vogue

November 11, 2008 07:41:13 Posted at November 11, 2008 07:41:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

About her desperate trip to the Ivy the other day, Just Jared heard from a “source” and apparently the “real” story behind her visit to the most pap friendly establishment in Hollywood was that Jennifer was there to “sign a contract with a chef and some big-time caterers for a health and nutrition school program she is working on to help overweight children. Full Story

Blake Lively No Legs

November 11, 2008 06:56:15 Posted at November 11, 2008 06:56:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All the editors at W Magazine must be completely cock-eyed – the only way to explain the decision to make THIS the new cover. It’s Blake Lively. And her head is bigger, MUCH bigger, than her waist. And she has no legs. And her dress is too small. And she looks like a tranny. And … WhatThe F-ck??? An entire photo shoot and this is the best they could come up with? More importantly though… can Jenny Humphrey please f-ck off? Full Gossip Girl breakdown of last night’s episode coming soon. Full Story

Hot Hugh for a Lifetime

November 11, 2008 06:49:47 Posted at November 11, 2008 06:49:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Needless to say, next to the frozen Gran, Hugh Jackman on Oprah was extra… ALIVE. A virile, smoldering, real man of a man. Damn! Thought all night about putting him on the Freebie Five but like Johnny Depp, why would you want Hugh Jackman for just one night? He’s not Freebie Five material. Full Story

Ridge lips, mom breasts, and a flat iron

November 11, 2008 06:36:00 Posted at November 11, 2008 06:36:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just to finish off the thought from before about Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman on Oprah… those lips are now my new obsession. Specifically the lip ridge. Because whatever she’s injecting into them is causing a split on the upper half and so when she tries to move or stretch it, the swelling buckles into a ridge right down the middle. Full Story

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