Toxic tweaky love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 08:32:08 March 9, 2009 08:32:08

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green were in Santa Monica together yesterday dining together at the Ivy by the Shore obviously unable to stay apart. Or maybe she hasn’t found anyone better to launch off to yet. Unfortunately the night after they hung out Robert Pattinson took off for Vancouver. She’ll have to wait for weekend visits. Full Story

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The Acting Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 07:11:15 March 9, 2009 07:11:15

One has a career in the crapper and is divorced, the other is a new mom, is married, and has a much more promising future as an actor… Ashlee Simpson will be joining Melrose Place. The new Melrose Place. Ugh. There are so many great writers with so many great show pitches, NEW show pitches, and they insist on resurrecting the past. Full Story

Porny in a corset

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 07:03:26 March 9, 2009 07:03:26

Am still snotty and miserable with this cold but seeing Porny put a smile on my face. Isn’t she wonderful? I love her so much. Jessica Simpson on stage at the Florida Strawberry Festival this weekend in Plant City, Florida in her daisy dukes and a long corset holding it all in and showing off her toned, muscular legs. Full Story

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The shape of Beyonce

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:54:19 March 9, 2009 06:54:19

Our friends Fiona and Kiu came over on Saturday night for a quick visit. At one point Kiu declared that Beyonce now occupies 4 out of the 5 spots on his Freebie Five. He watched her at the Oscars and was enthralled by her body. He was all like – now that’s a real woman’s body and it’s all natural. Full Story

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Becks gets and pays for what he wants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:41:41 March 9, 2009 06:41:41

David Beckham wanted to stay with AC Milan. And he’s getting what he wants. The LA Galaxy has agreed to let him play in Italy until the end of the season May 31st at which point he may represent England in 2 World Cup qualifiers before reporting back to the Galaxy in the US for the second part of their season. Full Story

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Little Sci Hello Kitty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:34:30 March 9, 2009 06:34:30

The GMD, Robo, and Little Sci arrived in Tokyo this weekend to promote Valkyrie. They were greeted at the airport by hundreds of screaming Hello Kitties eager for a glimpse of Mr America. He of course totally ate it up. You know the Gay Midge loves being loved. Shall we play Photo Assumption on Katie Holmes? Photo Assumption says she’s totally over it. Full Story

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Matt in tight spandex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:27:06 March 9, 2009 06:27:06

Few men, if any, can do it. Few men can quiver in spandex. Matt Damon does not quiver in spandex. I don’t care how much you love him, please don’t try convince me there’s something going on in your lady business when you look at these photos. Matt is currently in South Africa shooting The Human Factor. Full Story

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Twilight weekend in Vancouver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:18:00 March 9, 2009 06:18:00

And it begins. For those of you who’ve been begging for details… Spotted: Taylor Lautner learning to motorbike. He and Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson arrived a few days earlier than the rest of the cast for wardrobe testing and training. Taylor was then seen with his dad shopping for groceries. Full Story

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March 9, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 06:04:39 March 9, 2009 06:04:39

Happy Birthday Steff from Ellen! Finishing your MBA while raising 2 children AND still current on gossip – am impressed! “No nanny” Jennifer Lopez would have been hospitalised with “exhaustion” by now. And for Allison L the “Chem Ho”. Thank you for the grace and humour you’ve shown throughout your battle with breast cancer. Full Story

Friday, March 6, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Thanks to all you GOOP subscribers who sent me the edited version of her newsletter yesterday that switched “I’m a lucky motherf-cker” to “lucky f-cking invitation”. Lucky motherf-cker is still used on the website version so obviously the change was made to accommodate …the MiniVan? Ugh. Hate when my Gwynnie bends over to avoid the tut-tuts. Then again, criticise her all you want, she went out for dinner with Christiane Amanpour the other night because kowtow or not, she’s better than you. Yes, haters. My G is friends with Christiane Amanpour. Bet you Christiane Amanpour doesn’t mind the motherf-cker.

Late day post yesterday re: Brad Pitt causing a meltdown in Washington. Scroll down to get caught up.

It’s finally Friday. Blogging all day in between naps because my husband gave me the worst cold ever. Am now one giant germ attached to a plastic bag that holds all my snotty tissue rags. Motherf-cker!

Have a great weekend.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Will & Jada are not anorexic together. Also not Harrison & Calista or Judd Apatow & Leslie Mann, but that’s warm. Ish.

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