Grammy No B: Jay-Z

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 11:39:00 February 9, 2009 11:39:00

There’s this blowhard host on the local Vancouver sports talk radio show who keeps complaining about today’s music. Typical Canadian rock’n’roll beer dude. Completely ignorant about music other than what’s played on his own small little block. Last week he was discussing Springsteen at the Super Bowl and the future of the half time performance and he was like – will Jay-Z be relevant in 30 years? Will Jay-Z continue to sell out tours like the old rock timers? F-cking ignorant douche. Full Story

Grammy Gold & Tacky: Carrie Underwood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 11:31:00 February 9, 2009 11:31:00

She changed like 10 times the entire night. And every time it was the ass. If you want to rank the ass in order of worst to not so bad but still bad, #1 being the most horrid, I’d say it was the arrivals gold borrowed straight from Dolly Parton. See how even skinny girls can look bloaty with a bad dress? Also…don’t understand the hair. Full Story

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Grammy Sex Change: LeAnn Rimes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 11:19:52 February 9, 2009 11:19:52

Pick one: LeAnn Rimes looks great LeAnn Rimes looks like greasy sh-t but still girly LeAnn Rimes looks like greasy sh-t man dressing up like a womanI choose option 3. That grown out perm is straight out of the trailer park. And her dress is wrinkled. And, oh yeah, she looks like she’s getting rid of her lady business…WTF? Is this because her husband is so fay? He was there too, by the way. Full Story

Grammy Vogue: Adele!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 11:10:09 February 9, 2009 11:10:09

Styled by Anna Wintour. And Anna for Adele > Andre Leon Talley for Jennifer Hudson…right? But not even Anna Wintour could make Adele get rid of her chavvy long nails. Heh. The green on her – like a fresh ripe apple! Love it! Also love the cut of the dress – a little old school, and classic, a throwback to yesterday, not unlike the kind of musical sophistication coming out of someone so young. Full Story

Grammy Hardcore: M.I.A.

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 10:54:00 February 9, 2009 10:54:00

She shared the stage with Jay-Z, Kanye, T.I. (yeah baby), and Lil Wayne on her due date. Please. So what if she was singing with a backing track? You don’t want to mess with M.I.A. And both her outfits were so damn cute! The pregnant woman’s body is a beautiful thing! Also – M.I.A. could teach Taupe Jennifer Garner a thing or two about maternity fashion, non? If you missed it, the performance is below. Full Story

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Grammy Radiohead

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 10:34:23 February 9, 2009 10:34:23

Thom Yorke’s is a surprising kind of sexy, non? Sneaks up on you, surprises you, at first you’re like – who is this odd little man? By the end of it you’re like – musical genius if you seek Amy…? Last night it was a clinic. An introduction for some to why Radiohead is talked about the way they are talked about. Full Story

Grammy Strain: Coldplay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 10:21:00 February 9, 2009 10:21:00

It’s not that we’re not Coldplay fans. We are! We own Coldplay everything: every album, every dvd, we’ve seen them five or six times in concert – first two albums totally, second two albums meh… And we know Chris Martin can sing. Just … why does he sing so ass on these awards shows? Let’s face it: the best part of Coldplay last night was Jay-Z…which is when Chris was tolerable. Full Story

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Grammy Budget: Sheryl Crow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:28:07 February 9, 2009 09:28:07

She hasn’t had much success on red carpets, has she? Remember a few years ago with Lance Armstrong she showed up in a bright yellow gown with her stomach cut out? This one isn’t much better. This one looks like it’s been washed and dried. You know when you buy a blouse for $30 from the Chinese Mall and it starts to pill after the second use? This is a Chinese Mall dress. Full Story

Grammy One Colour: Leona Lewis

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:16:00 February 9, 2009 09:16:00

Awful head to toe flesh coloured blob… horrid! Because her hair is the same shade as her skin which was the same shade as her dress and there was nothing to break it up, to visually separate the pieces so what you end up with is one solid piece and let’s be honest… she has a beautiful, juicy, delicious body…. Full Story

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Grammy Whitney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:07:56 February 9, 2009 09:07:56

Whitney Houston performed at Clive Davis’s party on Saturday night and while her voice, understandably, has suffered, by all accounts she was captivating on stage, as she assured the crowd: “I got it, I got it”. Great news, of course. But also… let me be the bitch … there is a lesson here. Full Story