Thursday, September 17, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Jacek left yesterday. Home to Marcus. Here he is after getting picked up. He likes riding shotgun. Even in profile you can still see his prick face. Like he was born to be in the front seat. We live with Beagle Entitlement every day.

But poor Jacek took off a day too early. Because Natalie Portman showed up on the red carpet at TIFF and everyone saw heaven. He’d missed a member of his Freebie Five by just hours. In person she is glorious. More on Natalie Portman later and also, as promised yesterday, all about Colin Firth.

I posted late Wednesday too. SCROLL DOWN to get caught up on Jennifer Lopez etc.

It’s Thursday – and Shelf Ass Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba continue to track the same career path.

But first…

Remember the No Kids article? A controversial defence of those, like me, who have no interest in children? Click here for a refresher.

That piece was inspired by a book called No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Have Children by French author Corinne Maier who is hated by the MiniVan and judged unfit by the sanctimonious Super Mom. The article, like the book, prompted an unprecedented response.

I have received many emails of encouragement from likeminded couples (thank you!) but also many, many emails vilifying our decision – accusing us of tax evasion because their kids would be paying for us in the future (???), blaming us for the decrease in population that will eventually lead to the demise of the human race, and attributing every social ill onto “selfish” people like us who, in deciding not to have kids, are contributing to the erosion of a value system that has long upheld the morality of the human race. For real. And this is nothing compared to Corinne Maier who wrote the book.

She was in Toronto yesterday on promotion. I have 5 signed copies of No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Have Children to give away. If you’re interested, please email [email protected] with the title NO KIDS by 11:59pm Pacific on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009. Standard terms apply. Good luck!

Yours in gossip,


Colin & Tom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 15:59:51 September 17, 2009 15:59:51

Please. These men. These suits. I love so much. Colin Firth was in the lobby the other day waiting to exit. I only saw him from behind at first. Noticed the suit. And the height. He is a tall, tall man. And he carries himself so beautifully it’s instantly recognisable. Stationed at the side entrance so as not to be mobbed by the throng outside, his publicist led him out to the sedan waiting to pick him up. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Pretty-off: Clearwaters vs Cullens

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 15:30:00 September 17, 2009 15:30:00

Vampires are supposed to be breathtakingly beautiful but have a look at these photos of Julia Jones and BooBoo Stewart arriving in Vancouver… Depends on how they style them, I guess, because the Cullens and all their f-cked up wigs are nowhere near as pretty as these two and their onscreen mother. Full Story

View All 22 Photos

Gwen Everything

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 13:29:25 September 17, 2009 13:29:25

Jacket, shoes, pants, bag, body, everything Gwen I want. Gwen Stefani arrived at a studio today in LA, as always, immaculately put together. Gwen’s latest spring collection for L.A.M.B. was presented at NY Fashion Week a few days ago, this season a heavily 80s inspired theme that featured the harem pants she’s been wearing so often lately and also acid wash and studs, well tailored jackets, and some really great accessories. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Ebola destroys again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 12:42:19 September 17, 2009 12:42:19

This comes as no surprise. For many reasons. Us Weekly reports that Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are done. That she told him she wanted out and that divorce papers will be filed imminently. He is apparently “crushed”. Full Story

How to party with U2

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 12:17:44 September 17, 2009 12:17:44

Champagne. Apparently they like their champagne. U2 played Toronto Wednesday, a well timed 2 show stop on their tour to coincide with the festival. They came in a couple days earlier, hit up Colin Farrell’s Ondine premiere, Bono and The Edge popped into the Masonic Temple for a quick visit – photos attached – and post concert last night they celebrated at an exclusive afterparty at ONE where they cleaned out the restaurant of its entire supply of Moet. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 11:43:28 September 17, 2009 11:43:28

The title of this post is f-cking brilliant (Dlisted)

Blake Lively holds it up (Hollywood Tuna)

More details about the Lindsay Lohan Mentorship Program (The Superficial)

Marchesa…just a different name (Just Jared)

Chace Crawford trying to be Zac trying to be Leo (Popeater)

Hamm > Affleck (Pop Sugar)

She keeps saying she’s an “artist”. Like a mantra learned from Lilo (INO)

Rachel Bilson: gold wrinkles and a bra (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

We she be smiling if she was there? (ASL)

What’s the longest she can go without the tongue? (Popoholic)

Shoe Quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 10:33:41 September 17, 2009 10:33:41

Charlize Theron almost always delivers. She's a frosty bitch but when it comes to style, she will cut most down handily, no contest. Without much effort, it's what Victoria has to work for hours to achieve. Charlize is in NY to promote her new film The Burning Plain. She arrived at the premiere wearing blue/green and these on her feet. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

The Vain Vampire

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 09:21:03 September 17, 2009 09:21:03

Robert Pattinson doesn’t seem to care about his appearance. In that sense, he’s the exact opposite of Kellan Lutz who, time and again, appears to be more manicured than even his female castmates. This is Kellan in Vancouver yesterday hooking up with Peter Facinelli. The style scarf looped just so around his neck, and the cap, an open cardigan over a tee, with versatile white shades that flip up to show his eyes… Dude. Full Story

View All 27 Photos

Natalie by day and night

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 07:59:58 September 17, 2009 07:59:58

There’s Shelfy…and then there’s Natalie. Jessica Biel has always referred to the “Top Tier”, a club to which she does not belong that, of course, includes Natalie Portman on a short list of young actors constantly presented with the most prestigious parts. Biel has blamed her exclusion from the “Top Tier” on her good looks, lamenting that it’s her beauty that has held her back Full Story

View All 22 Photos

The Jessicas and their limits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 07:28:51 September 17, 2009 07:28:51

Variety reports that Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has found herself a job. She’ll play Bradley Cooper’s ex lover in A-Team, an army lady who’s on their asses. Or something. This is what you call Hollywood reality. After months and months of waiting, desperately hoping for an opportunity, the most attractive prospect presented to Shelfy turned out to be a supporting role as the proverbial sexy girlfriend in an action movie that requires little in the way of talent. Full Story