Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 10:38:27 February 27, 2009 10:38:27

My webmail has been down for 3 hours. Haven’t been able to access email. I feel like I’ve been abandoned in the middle of the ocean. Will Twitter make me feel better?

Kanye UNquotable and f-cking stupid (Dlisted)

Do you think she looks like Lauren Conrad? (Hollywood Tuna)

Famewhore’s busted makeup. Seriously hideous (Just Jared)

How Ryan Reynolds walks his dog (Pop Sugar)

Who’s Scabby selling herself to now? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Confession: I dig Shia the director (INO)

If I had arms like hers I’d be going sleeveless all the time too (Cele|bitchy)

Fake tits, f-ck me boots, and Camels (IDLYITW)

Maybe this is why Djimon Hounsou is with her? How else do you explain it? (The Blemish)

Not this again, please. Guess who was weepy at the Oscars? (A Socialite's Life)

How long before…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 09:24:10 February 27, 2009 09:24:10

Shelfy comes rushing in? Cameron Diaz was photographed happy and lovely yesterday in New York heading to a meeting – regardless what you think of them, Cammie D (unlike Jessica Biel) makes movies that actually get released in theatres! – just a few days before appearing on Jimmy Fallon’s first week at Late Night. Full Story

Kristen, Rob…and Drew?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 07:43:55 February 27, 2009 07:43:55

Twilight press conference and premiere in Tokyo today… Am all over Kristen Stewarts leather dress with the white trim. She’s 18. She can do it. Not so sure about the gown later on. Way too old for her. Whatever, I love her. My girl balances out the cheese on either side of her. Open mouth cheese, per usual, courtesy of Robert Pattinson, and then the little guy Taylor Lautner who has done nothing the last few months but try to grow and gain weight. Full Story

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Hot Jakey Hip Hop

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 07:00:00 February 27, 2009 07:00:00

This video kills me. Because it makes no f-cking sense. But first, auto-tune needs to die. So it’s Jamie Foxx. He has a new album. He’s released a new video full of celebrity cameos – Samuel L Jackson, Forrest Whitaker, Quincy Jones, Ashley from Fresh Prince, some blonde lady that looks familiar but is distinctly B list, and Ron Howard and Jake Gyllenhaal. Full Story

Salma the bride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 06:39:15 February 27, 2009 06:39:15

Remember how for weeks and weeks we had to endure the ceaseless gushing about Jennifer Aniston turning 40 and “fabulous!”? Ugh. Salma Hayek turned 40 two years ago and as far as I can recall the entire world wasn’t forced to celebrate with her, even though she hardly looks 30, never mind 10 years older. Full Story

Mr & Mrs Perfect

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 06:22:28 February 27, 2009 06:22:28

Oh GiGi, you so sneaky. Despite numerous reports of an engagement, and subsequent numerous denials, Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady yesterday in Santa Monica. Us Weekly broke the story first and given the details, it sounds like G and T had been planning for a while. Full Story

February 27, 2009 - Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2009 06:17:03 February 27, 2009 06:17:03

Happy Birthday Chris R! You’ve been reading a long, LONG time. Thank you for the support! I know it’s been sucky lately. Am thinking of you, am sure things will turn around soon. Have a great weekend! To Aisha – Happy 23rd Birthday from your big sister Mareva! To Shelley – Happy Birthday on Sunday! With love from Laura And for Emma who is celebrating sweet 16 tomorrow – Happy Birthday from mom and Alex! Good luck with the drivers licence. Full Story

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Timing of today’s blog will be a bit wonky today. We’re on a 6am flight to Vegas from Vancouver (means we must leave home at 3:30am) so I’ve posted overnight and am rushing to the airport. Will update soon as we get checked in with wireless at hotel.

Why Vegas?

Once again my mother has feng shui hijacked my life.

Every year she studies her Chinese zodiac book and gives us a monthly play-by-play. Over the next few weeks, it’s been advised that my husband skip town for a few days, presumably to avoid calamity. He was supposed to head out on a golfing trip with his boys and it would have been SO amazing to have the place to myself, with Marcus keeping me warm, only they all bailed for a variety of reasons and of course, since I’m so pathetic I can’t make a move without consulting my mother and her cryptic little nuggets heightening my already superstitious paranoia (OK, well it’s up to you… but don’t say Mommy didn’t give you warning), now we’re on a 4 day minibreak to Vegas because this week is the only time I can go and my hands are itchy for a little gambling anyway…

Please Shiloh, please keep Ebola away. It comes to Vegas often. My eye is improving but if Ebola is anywhere on the strip, I’ll probably grow an ass wart by the time it’s done.

Anyway, apologies for the irregular schedule today. New posts as soon as I touch down.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Have you downloaded Heroes yet? Legendary musicians, 16 exclusive tracks, all in support of War Child. Stevie Wonder, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney – they chose their favourite artists to cover their classic songs.

!!!

Dylan picked Beck for Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat which was featured during the closing credits at the Oscars. McCartney entrusted Live and Let Die to… Duffy! Estelle performs Superstitious with Stevie’s blessing, and more.

4 stars by Rolling Stone, and the New York Times proclaimed Heroes “wickedly on the mark”.

Click here for more information and to buy. Click here to sample a few tracks. And the promo for Heroes is below.

About Heroes:
It’s not uncommon for musicians to try their hand at covering classic songs from their heroes’ songbook. However, when one of your heroes personally selects a track from their own catalog and asks you to do the honors in the name of one of the world’s most acclaimed humanitarian organizations…you get something truly special... HEROES! War Child, an award winning charity that provides humanitarian assistance to war-affected children in some of the most devastated regions of the world, are proud to announce a unique and unprecedented collaboration between some of the biggest names in music history and today’s hottest artists.

Heroes promo:

Waiting for John Mayer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2009 14:59:00 February 26, 2009 14:59:00

She’s keeping her options open, making sure there’s always a Plan B. Us Weekly broke the story earlier this week that Megan Fox finally cut it off with her dead weight fiancé Brian Austin Green. She was spotted this afternoon however visiting Brian’s son Cassius at school. Apparently she spent the night at Brian’s, left in the morning, went to kindergarten, and then picked up some coffee. Full Story

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Still singing, still Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2009 14:22:20 February 26, 2009 14:22:20

The other day I reported on information from sources that Jessica Simpson had fired her band and was scrapping the tour. Gossip is a speculative business - every once in a while, there’s a bad tip. I’m sorry about that. But I’m not sorry about the fact that she didn’t quit. Because in not quitting, Porny provided us with this: photos from her performance in Idaho. Full Story

So rare, so good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2009 12:07:54 February 26, 2009 12:07:54

Tonight in Paris, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis had dinner at Brasserie Lipp – not on GOOPy’s recommended guide. Heh. Vanessa dashed into the car before cameras could catch her. So far these are the only two good shots of JD I could find. Very, very rare. It’s been months since the last candids. Full Story