The Bad Gay Influence

July 25, 2008 07:55:07 Posted at July 25, 2008 07:55:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a shocking title. Because normally you’d think there really is no such thing. But Ken Paves is an anomaly. Ken Paves is, maybe, the only gay on the face of the earth whose hag always looks WORSE when he’s around. Consider the magnitude of this statement: Jessica Simpson is more attractive under the watch of her locker room stinky, football playing, jock strap wearing boyfriend than she is with her Main ‘Mo. Full Story

Downsizing means forever?

July 25, 2008 07:41:44 Posted at July 25, 2008 07:41:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady are downsizing. He has an apartment in New York that he’s just put on the market, she also has an apartment that she’s selling, and it looks like they prefer her townhouse, where they spend most of their time, and where they are photographed most often. Full Story

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Bloat & Spittle

July 25, 2008 06:53:02 Posted at July 25, 2008 06:53:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Was at the funnest dinner party with the funnest ladies the other night and the question came up: who would be your Hollywood best friend? Trish said Gerard Butler and like good judgmental bitches, we totally jumped all over her. My objection, naturally, was based solely on his spittle. As mentioned before, Gerry is a spittle-talker. Full Story

July 25, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

July 25, 2008 06:44:32 Posted at July 25, 2008 06:44:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy Birthday Linda T! Something tells me it will be a very, very eventful day at the office. Enjoy it! Congratulations Hucky who is marrying her Golden Boy on August 9th! Lizzy, KT, and Hmac hope that your new marital responsibilities will not preclude you from keeping up on all things smutty. Word! To Jennifer – good luck at the interview today! Love, Kathleen To Sonya and Alisson – Happy twin birthdays! I know it’s been a brutal year, for Sonya especially, staying close to home. Full Story

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Ugh. Am having dinner with my mother tonight. Mother is in a foul mood. As a result of parking her ass in front of a slot machine for too many hours at Casino Niagara, she’s developed some kind of chronic neck and shoulder issue.

No casino for 2 months = torture your daughter

It began the other night – within an hour of arriving at our hotel, there she was, in our room, poking the back of my arm with her long ass fingernail: thought you said you were working out with a trainer?

Please let the day be long.

Thursday – new posts all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Sean Penn’s commitment is not in crisis.

It’s That Time Again

July 24, 2008 14:40:27 Posted at July 24, 2008 14:40:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Comic-Con. An annual pilgrimage of supergeek superfans. Their excuse to pull out the Chewbacca and Storm Trooper costumes and celebrate the supernatural. Don’t laugh. Comic-Con is huge. Comic-Con is powerful. Comic-Con can make or break a movie. Iron Man owes much of its success to the reaction it received at Comic-Con. Full Story

Curvy Girls, Skinny Jeans

July 24, 2008 13:24:44 Posted at July 24, 2008 13:24:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jennifer Hudson at BET – a curvy girl rockin’ the sh*t out of a pair of skinny jeans. Love, love, love. JHud’s first album drops on September 30 and the first single Spotlight is doing reasonably well though it hasn’t taken off like she probably hopes. Weird. That she has an Oscar but musically it’s been a slower ride. Full Story

The Holy Twins vs Aniston: showdown at TIFF?

July 24, 2008 12:17:06 Posted at July 24, 2008 12:17:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Come September, Toronto could be flooded with Brangelunatics who are so, so, SO angry today and losing many valuable work hours over that Us Weekly cover. How dare anyone suggest that the Holy Twins were conceived in any other way but the Pitt Porn natural way. Now a change of pace… We’re a month away from festival season and my sources tell me the Brange have supposedly confirmed they’ll be at TIFF to promote Burn After Reading. Full Story

Bad Haired and Bug-Eyed

July 24, 2008 08:22:45 Posted at July 24, 2008 08:22:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Which actor has been much too egotistical and much too energetic on press tour recently? Let’s start with the ego first: He’s not exactly Brad Pitt or the GMD on fame terms and still he travels with a crazy security team and insists on sweeping every location before he will enter. Who the f&ck are you??? Even his own management is snickering at his grossly exaggerated sense of entitlement – hit movies don’t necessarily equate to international superstardom, and while his box office might be lucrative, his celebrity status is decidedly modest. Full Story

Tabloids Wars: The Holy Twins In Vitro!

July 24, 2008 07:40:49 Posted at July 24, 2008 07:40:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Safe to say Us Weekly was never in the running for the first exclusive shots of the Holy Jolie Twins. As such, in a bold pre-emptive move, Janice Min and her clever gossips are trying to squeeze as much money out of the twins-obsessed public as they can, in advance of those highly anticipated photos sure to annihilate newsstand sales for everyone else – likely in People Magazine or OK!, both bitter rivals of Us Weekly. Full Story