Grammy Strain: Coldplay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 10:21:00 February 9, 2009 10:21:00

It’s not that we’re not Coldplay fans. We are! We own Coldplay everything: every album, every dvd, we’ve seen them five or six times in concert – first two albums totally, second two albums meh… And we know Chris Martin can sing. Just … why does he sing so ass on these awards shows? Let’s face it: the best part of Coldplay last night was Jay-Z…which is when Chris was tolerable. Full Story

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Grammy Budget: Sheryl Crow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:28:07 February 9, 2009 09:28:07

She hasn’t had much success on red carpets, has she? Remember a few years ago with Lance Armstrong she showed up in a bright yellow gown with her stomach cut out? This one isn’t much better. This one looks like it’s been washed and dried. You know when you buy a blouse for $30 from the Chinese Mall and it starts to pill after the second use? This is a Chinese Mall dress. Full Story

Grammy One Colour: Leona Lewis

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:16:00 February 9, 2009 09:16:00

Awful head to toe flesh coloured blob… horrid! Because her hair is the same shade as her skin which was the same shade as her dress and there was nothing to break it up, to visually separate the pieces so what you end up with is one solid piece and let’s be honest… she has a beautiful, juicy, delicious body…. Full Story

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Grammy Whitney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 09:07:56 February 9, 2009 09:07:56

Whitney Houston performed at Clive Davis’s party on Saturday night and while her voice, understandably, has suffered, by all accounts she was captivating on stage, as she assured the crowd: “I got it, I got it”. Great news, of course. But also… let me be the bitch … there is a lesson here. Full Story

Best Grammy Hair: Jennifer Hudson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 08:50:29 February 9, 2009 08:50:29

OK so the best hair shots of JHud are actually from Saturday night at the Clive Davis Party. But how can you deny this hair? If I could pull off this hair, I totally would. But my Chinese people hair won’t go like this without an hour of work every day and I don’t have the time. I also don’t have time for what Jennifer chose for the red carpet at the Grammys proper: a giant bib. Full Story

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Worst Grammy Hair: Paula Abdul

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 08:36:20 February 9, 2009 08:36:20

She could qualify for worst everything actually but we’ll spread the hate around and focus, for now, on the 6 story apartment building attached to her head – a flagrant violation of the laws of proportion, if such a thing exists. And if it doesn’t, it should. The problem is that the updo is the same size as her face, and since she’s only, like, 5 feet tall, it’s also almost the same size as her body. Full Story

The Grammys 2009

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 08:28:57 February 9, 2009 08:28:57

Like I said last week, Coldplay is fortunate they did not perform after Radiohead. Because in their first Grammy live performance, Radiohead owned everyone’s ass. And my Gwyneth introduced them! Her smugness must be killing you… So there were some sucky sh-t performances, and then there were the ones that made you thankful for DVR. Full Story

On Rihanna and Chris Brown

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 08:12:48 February 9, 2009 08:12:48

You must know by now but just in case, and because there are so many strands of information flooding in, a quick recap first: Rihanna and Chris Brown attended the Clive Davis party together on Saturday night. By all accounts, they were happy, very affectionate, betraying no signs of what was to come. Full Story

BAFTA Brange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 07:11:09 February 9, 2009 07:11:09

The Jolie did not wear a robe. And she did not wear all black. Surprised? Me too. It was mostly black but there was also an aggressive yellow arrow breaking up the darkness. And she really did smolder last night. There was a way about Angelina at the BAFTAs that was missing from the SAGs and the rest – a back to bombshell challenge on her face that will, hopefully, carry through to the Oscars. Full Story

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BAFTA Unspoiled: Dev Patel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2009 07:02:00 February 9, 2009 07:02:00

Please let him stay this way – so humble and grateful and eager and sweet. Here’s Dev Patel at the BAFTAs riding the incredible wave, and still as amazed as he was 2 months ago when this thing took off. Dev is adorable! Did you see him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart? If not, you MUST. Full Story