July 22, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

July 22, 2008 06:21:00 Posted at July 22, 2008 06:21:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

To Jana F in the Hammer from your lovely sister Circus Tail. Happy Birthday!! You are the BEST sister in the whole world, even if you do like Britney Spears, Gavin Rossdale, zombie movies and anything with a gold-gilded/sparkle finish. Now, picture this in your head: SISTERS....GETTING OLDER.... Full Story

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Fred Segal is evil. It was the end of a decadent girls’ weekend. We were driving down La Cienaga towards the airport yesterday, 15 minutes early, and happened to be approaching Melrose.

Julie: What should we do?
Me: Freg Segal. Now. Go.

Power shopping – it’s dangerous. Am broke. But this weekend I too brought my twins home: size 8, 105mm thin covered heel, brushed patent, pink and nude striped pumps. And even though they’re not Holy Jolie Pitts, they will be loved and cared for, just as if I birthed them myself.

The Dark Knight… Right? Right?

It’s Monday – busy, busy weekend recap. Am blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


PS. There is no crisis in JLo’s commitment.

Leo Love Bars…still

July 21, 2008 14:38:24 Posted at July 21, 2008 14:38:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

They’re engaged, then they aren’t seen together in public so they break up, then five minutes later it’s like they’re walking down the aisle – according to the tabloids, Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli have a rather dramatic love. Or maybe he’s just so undercover he really knows how to hide and plug the leaks? Leo rarely ventures out… but when he does, he’s always a prime target. Full Story

Hiding His Pretty

July 21, 2008 11:55:27 Posted at July 21, 2008 11:55:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hayden Christensen was in LA this weekend with girlfriend Rachel Bilson – seen here running errands. Hayden hasn’t worked in a while. And since he’s also trying to break out of the box of teen pop appeal, like so many of his pretty boy peers, Hayden is hiding his pretty by working out the hirsute. Full Story

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Angie is fatter than Granny

July 21, 2008 11:08:04 Posted at July 21, 2008 11:08:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The clever folks at Bauer Griffin were able to capture the first shots of Angelina Jolie out of the hospital, on the grounds of the Pitt Family chateau watching her kids play. You will note that even the skinny ass Angie, always at the centre of ridiculous heroin rumours that are complete bollocks because of her veiny arms, even Angie after twins wearing black is fuller everywhere than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman wearing white. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

July 21, 2008 10:56:24 Posted at July 21, 2008 10:56:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chicken Fried vs the Freeloaders (Dlisted)

Concrete Tits come out to play! (Hollywood Tuna)

High Waisted Fergie > High Waisted former Tranny now Porny (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

DILF – is that what they call it? (INO)

But what about Ashanti? Nelly’s numbers no longer working? (Holy Moly UK)

Who makes Pippy pee? (Cele|bitchy)

Hot, Wet…and she eats! (IDLYITW)

Granny had a baby?

July 21, 2008 08:39:24 Posted at July 21, 2008 08:39:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story

Carb Face and his gray pants

July 21, 2008 08:17:00 Posted at July 21, 2008 08:17:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There’s a saying in Chinese: One type rice feeds one hundred type people. Sort of like…to each their own. Or, as my mother so gracefully reminded me when I told her one day that I could get away with a short skirt: whores eat our rice too. If you can eat like a whore, you can dress like a whore. Full Story

Me Day for Halle

July 21, 2008 07:50:37 Posted at July 21, 2008 07:50:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Halle Berry is sick. Like…ridiculous. Like sooo ridiculously beautiful. Halle enjoyed a “me” day yesterday, shopping in Beverly Hills, going for ice cream with a friend, and proudly showing off pictures of baby Nahla. Am all over the floppy hat. And the bag. Interestingly enough, Halle has been frank in the past about her post-Oscar choices, explaining that her award put her in a position where she could entertain film offers that provided more financially than artistically. Full Story

The Essence of Nelson

July 21, 2008 07:25:15 Posted at July 21, 2008 07:25:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Marcus is my first dog. But I have a dog because of Nelson. I was Nelson’s nanny for the first few weeks after Julie brought him home. He’d come over and we’d hang out. He’d pee all over my floor. He’d sleep in his crate and snore like a volcano erupting. He’d fart like a champion bulldog… because that is what they do. Full Story