July 14, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

July 14, 2008 05:19:58 Posted at July 14, 2008 05:19:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy Birthday to Andrea at school in NYC from mom Linda. Good luck to Dawn who is running 30km August 16 in support of paediatric arthritis. Am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. But even more inspired to learn about your journey! To Erika G – Happy 31st Birthday! A great day for a new start and better ones are ahead. Full Story

Friday, July 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

It happens once a year. Once a year my husband decides it’s a good idea to mess around with our home office network.


My email has been bollocked since yesterday. To add to my marital malcontent, he actually buggered off for 18 holes in the middle of the crisis. When I gave it to him at the end of the day, his reply – yeah but babe… I made 3 birdies.

If you have sent me a message in the last 24 hours, I’ve been assured it’s sitting on some server somewhere and that I will able to read it some time this weekend, as soon as he removes the 9 iron from his ass that I shoved up his ass.

This is marriage.

A thousand apologies for the inconvenience and any missed smutty shout-outs. Promise to make up for them on Monday.

The good news…it’s Friday! At the very least, wireless is now back up and running. Am blogging all day. Check back often. Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,


Rafa on a boat

July 11, 2008 11:36:00 Posted at July 11, 2008 11:36:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Topless. With his girl Xisca lounging on a boat, having a “me” day to clear his head and get some loving, as reports are swirling that his parents are divorcing. Oh to be young, rich, and Spanish. Spanish should be a new coveted attribute. Like…I wish I was smart. I wish I was taller. Full Story

Family weekend in Paris

July 11, 2008 11:26:41 Posted at July 11, 2008 11:26:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jakey Gyllenhaal with long-ish hair and stubble is the hottest Jakey ever. And he’s not a player pig. And he’s tight with his family. And he doesn’t roll with the Hollywood drug scene. In other words, the antithesis of the cheating carbface Ryan Phillippe. Here’s Jake with Reese, her children, and a nanny heading to Paris for the weekend by train, perhaps taking a few days off as Jake has been hard at work on the Prince of Persia. Full Story

Never enough…

July 11, 2008 11:08:52 Posted at July 11, 2008 11:08:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tina Fey. This is Tina last night at the opening of Damn Yankees. We need more Tina to balance out the twats. Million dollar question: Would you suffer through friendship with the sugar-raping Rossum in exchange for friendship with the genius that is Tina Fey? Photos from Wenn.com Full Story

Gwyneth Work Ethic

July 11, 2008 09:42:47 Posted at July 11, 2008 09:42:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My Gwyneth spent time in New York this week to promote Sensuous, the new fragrance by Estee Lauder. She showed up with the Hurley and the other 2 spokesmodels to work the carpet at the launch…but that’s it. While everyone else gave interviews and signed up for a few other gigs, Gwyneth apparently pulled the bare minimum and skipped out on everything else Full Story

Official…but not news

July 11, 2008 09:28:00 Posted at July 11, 2008 09:28:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m gloating. Click away if you can’t handle it. But if you’ve been reading this site long enough, and paying attention to the riddles, you’d have known that Emily Blunt and Michael Buble were done a long time ago. Their split was “officially” confirmed today via his publicist on perezhilton.com Full Story

Euro Man-cheese

July 11, 2008 08:28:21 Posted at July 11, 2008 08:28:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Smell like Antonio Banderas. It’s called Blue Seduction... What does that even mean??? No matter. What matters is Antonio’s gift of Euro Man-cheese. Look how he tries to smoulder, here at the launch of his fragrance yesterday alongside wife Melanie. Look at those lips – lips that think it’s still 1991 when Madonna decided she had to have him in Truth or Dare. Full Story

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Babies are for sale!

July 11, 2008 07:49:38 Posted at July 11, 2008 07:49:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The MiniVan Majority loves babies! The world loves babies! And thanks to the new power of the Yummy Mummy movement, getting pregnant has become the go-to career move in Hollywood, yielding the easiest paycheque ever. Pose with your newborn! Earn a million dollars! Or $3 million if you’re Matthew McConaughey. Full Story

Chicken Fried in an elevator

July 11, 2008 07:12:47 Posted at July 11, 2008 07:12:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Britney has completed her segment for Madonna’s Sticky & Sweet tour – word is she thrashes around like a crazy person in an elevator and says defiantly to camera at the end: It’s Britney, bitch…which, if true, is kinda lame ass recycled. The good news – by all accounts Britney was well behaved and professional and seemed tired but exhilarated afterwards, not unlike what she looked like last night, as you can see from these photos of her with mom. Full Story