Bro Massage

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2009 06:53:16 June 11, 2009 06:53:16

They’ve been friends a long time. Recently worked together. Both family men now supposedly settled down. But not quite. Several times a week, very late at night, they’d call up for room service together. Oh no, not for food, but for a certain kind of massage. Like…together. Full Story

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The tabloid fixation on a Brange breakup – kinda like gossip cognitive dissonance, non? Every week they report that they’ve split. Every week they do not split. So every following week they keep trying harder to convince themselves, and us, that they will split very soon. Or that they have split but are hiding it from the public. Or that they split last week, reunited, but will split again. Or something.

The fact is a happy Brange doesn’t sell at the newsstand. Which is why they’ve been breaking up every f-cking week for the last five years. And she has to keep getting pregnant to convince them/us that they’re fine.

Even People Magazine is trading on Brange this week to fight Jon & Kate on Us Weekly. Apparently Janice Min has hit a winning formula because she keeps slapping those two losers on her cover SEVEN WEEKS IN A ROW.


It’s Wednesday. And Jessica Alba is a f-cking idiot.

Yours in gossip,


PS. See below – more details about S.M.U.T.!


He wasn't spreading it well

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 17:13:00 June 10, 2009 17:13:00

The virus I mean. Ebola Hilton is single. She and that useless f-ck Doug have split up as confirmed by No reason was cited but it's obvious: He wasn't getting it enough publicity. And you know, its popularity is waning. We've seen its hoo hoo so many times already, we know it can throw up bulimic at a moments notice. Full Story

Nipple Day in London

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 15:35:04 June 10, 2009 15:35:04

The Posh stepped out earlier with her tit rocks all tweaked… Then in the evening, on the red carpet for the UK premiere of The Hangover, Heather Graham let her nipples do the talking too. Hello chilly breeze! Those are much nicer to look at than Victoria Beckham’s concretes though. Are Heather’s real? Yum. Full Story

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Where are your beans???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 12:24:04 June 10, 2009 12:24:04

One of the best gossip stories EVER: Remember when Hugh Grant attacked a pap in London with a container full of baked beans? I die. Last night Hugh was at it again. In New York, walking with a friend, unfortunately he had no beans with him so all of a sudden Hugh decides to kick a photographer in the balls. Full Story

Megan vs Middle America

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 12:09:46 June 10, 2009 12:09:46

Something is up with me today. I should call my mother. This is Megan Fox on the Transformers promotional train in Korea. Really like her dress. That’s a first. But how much plastic surgery has this girl had? Was she born with that face? Doubtful. Anyway, say what you will about the Poor Man’s Jolie, but at the very least, she doesn’t give the same generic answers over and over again. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 11:29:30 June 10, 2009 11:29:30

Justin Timberlake must be behind this (Dlisted)

Repping and romancing Fried Chicken (The Superficial)

Gisele Bundchen body art (Hollywood Tuna)

Help me. Why do I like Shia LaBeouf? (Just Jared)

Chicken Fried family day! (Pop Sugar)

From far away Melanie Griffith isn’t bad (INO)

Adriana Lima does not have a sex tape (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Would you: Matching mom and daughter (Celebrity Baby Scoop)

If Megan Fox wants to be taken seriously, why does she keep sucking her thumb? (ASL)

Does Lilo’s tanner really work? (Popeater)


Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 10:00:00 June 10, 2009 10:00:00

Are you a Lost fan? ABC has been running some cute crossover ads to promote new shows using old shows. This is the latest featuring Patrick Dempsey, Courteney Cox, and yes, Dominic Monaghan from Lost… They’ve already announced that Claire will be back. Now Charlie too? Joking, right? Joking…. Full Story

They’ll call it retail therapy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 09:51:14 June 10, 2009 09:51:14

Brad Pitt’s $1 million new purchase has just given the bottom feeding rags their new headline next week: Brad buys art to nurse his heart! Funny how it works: Brangelunatics have been emailing me lately, begging for reassurance that the Brange is fine. This as a result of the relentless reports coming out of In Touch, Life & Style, Star etc about the rumoured demise of The Relationship. Full Story

4 More Sleeps

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 08:36:22 June 10, 2009 08:36:22

Until True Blood Season 2. The premiere screening took place last night in LA, most of the cast in attendance. Of course Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer – she has the most underrated, cute little body, non? – and Sam Trammell too. I vacillated all through the first season: Bill or Sam? Also Ryan Kwanten otherwise known as the endearingly stupid Jason Stackhouse who, um, appears to be much more attractive in character. Full Story

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