Hot Harry on a Horse no Chelsy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 08:38:49 January 26, 2009 08:38:49

Am sad. Love Harry and Chelsy. But it’s over again. For now. Word is she made the call. Tired of waiting around for him while he’s up to his shenanigans in the army, desperately hoping to move back to Africa, willing herself to focus on her own studies, her own career, Chelsy broke up with Harry even though they’re both still in love… The timing is wrong. Full Story

Porny Happy New Year!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 08:15:00 January 26, 2009 08:15:00

You know the photo. The Classic Jessica Simpson High Waisted Photo. It made our lives. It continues to make our lives. On a rainy day. If work is the sh-ts. If your mother won’t get off your ass about sending her to Vegas for her birthday… There’s Porny in her pants giving us a reason to live again. Full Story

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SAG Worst: Eva Longoria

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:59:26 January 26, 2009 07:59:26

What is the point of Eva Longoria? What is the reason for Eva Longoria? Is there a reason for Eva Longoria? I don’t understand. Like, this dress. This dress, the colour, this colour is for food. Some food colours don’t belong on a dress. This food colour doesn’t belong on this dress. Full Story

Best SAG: Evan Rachel Wood

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:55:25 January 26, 2009 07:55:25

Colour, cut, fit, shoes (SHOEs!!!)…without question, last night belonged to Evan Rachel Wood. Marilyn Manson clouds are receding… Evan Rachel Wood is re-emerging. And how. She has been perfect all awards season. Cannot wait for Oscar. As for those of you who still won’t forgive her for Dita homewreckage – I’ll argue for her: She was a child with lofty ideals and naïve underdog sympathies. Full Story

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SAG Robo Why?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:47:00 January 26, 2009 07:47:00

Katie Holmes presenting Best Actor? Why? Because she’s married to the Gay Midget Dwarf? Because her Little Sci is Hollywood’s most popular baby? Because the MiniVan Majority wants it to be? Yes, yes, and yes. At the very least then, Katie knew her role. She did not walk the carpet. But of course not. Full Story

SAG Don’t Bother: The Brange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:40:47 January 26, 2009 07:40:47

They were noticeably more chatty last night, right? They worked the press line separately and even stopped for E! because there was no Seacrest… not that Guiliana DeSh-ts didn’t do her best to annoy them: - Have you become a better woman/man since being with Brad Pitt/the Jolie?- What have you learned from falling for him/her? … the f-ck? Both soured. Full Story

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SAG Best Couple: Sean Penn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:24:00 January 26, 2009 07:24:00

Forget Robin’s saggy sateeny dress. It’s unflattering yes. But they look great together. Whatever holds it together. And it’s HIM. Sean Penn is all sex. There was never a question as to why he’s the love of Madonna’s life. Of course he was. The danger. The attitude. The artist. Full Story

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SAG Saving Up: Penelope Cruz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:15:47 January 26, 2009 07:15:47

Is she in a hair rut? I feel like she’s in a hair rut. And a dress rut too. Like, enough with the flared bottom mermaid business. It’s tired. And while black is never bad, and of course she doesn’t look bad, she also looks boring. Seen it a thousand times, almost as though she didn’t care. Full Story

Best SAG Red: Diane Lane

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 07:03:08 January 26, 2009 07:03:08

Good example of who is wearing it, how she wears it. This was pretty much Freida Pinto’s dress in red. But Diane Lane is not a delicate woman-child. Diane Lane is fire and experience, looks her age and her age is just right, a total sex pot who just celebrated her 44th birthday a few days ago…which means she too is older than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman. Full Story

SAG Ladies and Ralph: Meryl, Susan, Kristin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 06:56:30 January 26, 2009 06:56:30

Awards season means the likes of Lauren Conrad are shoved to the side…have you noticed? It’s time for real stars, real celebrity, so f-ck off reality twats because Meryl Streep has just won a SAG. Wearing a pantsuit. Heh. Love that Meryl is never super appreciative. That she doesn’t have to be. Full Story

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SAG Prom: Freida Pinto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 06:40:21 January 26, 2009 06:40:21

Please. Find her a stylist. Or sack the existing one. It’s a crime this girl, as gorgeous as she is, cannot live up to her true potential on a big night. Because at every major carpet this season, Freida Pinto is wearing a prom dress. SAG was no exception. It’s the colour. Gross. It’s the old lady weaving in the chest area that screams Arlene’s Dress Shoppe – for all your fancy occasions! Brutal. Full Story