Johnny Wet & Sweaty

September 2, 2008 06:29:37 Posted at September 2, 2008 06:29:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

While Granny Freeze and Madonna desperate try to hold back time with Botox, yoga, and thousand dollar elixirs, chainsmoking Johnny Depp somehow manages to stay exactly the same… It’s the genes. Quiver over your Lifetime Man, in Florida the other night reuniting with his band The Kids for a charity concert. Full Story

They Don’t Practise

September 2, 2008 06:19:39 Posted at September 2, 2008 06:19:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

First let me get this off my chest: I want her hair. And while many of you have been kind to send your tips, I’ve tried… and it’s impossible. The Chinese won’t bend that way. A heavily made-up Madonna accompanied Guy Ritchie last night to the London premiere of RocknRolla – just weeks after the ARod scandal, Her Madgesty and her consort appear to be renewed and resolute in their commitment. Full Story

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Nahla Not-For-Sale

September 2, 2008 06:08:21 Posted at September 2, 2008 06:08:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hello baby! Meet Nahla Ariela Aubrey, daughter of Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey. Nahla is a rare gem. Because Nahla was not sold to a magazine. Nahla is not for sale. But Halle was evidently tired of the mad rush for pap pictures. Which is why she provided them democratically: several photo agencies were present, with an open shot, thereby removing the “exclusive” factor and greatly reducing the value of the images. Full Story

The Fine Print of Infidelity

September 2, 2008 06:00:55 Posted at September 2, 2008 06:00:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

David Duchovny, sex addict. As you know, he released a preemptive statement last week announcing his admission to rehab amid rumours of infidelity that had been swirling for some time. The statement was both sudden and also very specific, leading many to wonder when the other shoe would drop… if a celebrity is forced to be so candid, what could he really be hiding? Now Roger Friedman Full Story

September 2, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

September 2, 2008 05:55:52 Posted at September 2, 2008 05:55:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy Belated Birthday Shannon B in NYC! With love from the Chung Sisters. To Gillian – Good luck with this! Wishing you well on September 21st and a wonderful first year in Edmonton. To Shans in NYC - Happy Belated Birthday from Rachel who’ll be back soon to continue the search for the ultimate cupcake. Full Story

Friday, August 29, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Many on the A List were not in Hollywood last night but in Denver, among 80,000 at Mile High Stadium cheering on their candidate Barack Obama who threw down the gauntlet leading up to next week’s convention. Included in the crowd? None other than the Alba Bitch, joining Rosario Dawson and Jennifer Lopez, wearing her newly embraced Latina status loud and proud.

Oprah, Susan Sarandon, Spike Lee, the Taupes, my Kiki, Anne Hathaway, Fergie, Kanye, even little Pip Justin Timberlake – and the list goes on: the DNC was as starstudded than the Academy Awards.

Good to know though, as Hollywood is emptied temporarily for presidential purposes and in advance of Labour Day weekend, at least at its core, showbiz is still a cesspool of smut.

What better way to float into autumn than on the wings of a sex addiction scandal and a little bit of BBT? More on that later.

It felt like the flu but it might be strep throat. Disgusting. And ill timed too. It’s a long weekend!

Wishing you all a wonderful long weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. My Cousin Cat – it’s her birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She shares it with Michael Jackson. But let’s not remind her? They have nothing in common anyway. I mean just look… have you ever seen anyone so beautiful? Love you!

The Bitch who brings it

August 29, 2008 12:51:57 Posted at August 29, 2008 12:51:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Charlize Theron at the Venice Film Festival for The Burning Plain, a film she is also bringing to Toronto for TIFF. Since she’s all serious and arty now, no longer the naked blonde we once saw in Two Days in the Valley, Charlize offered this interpretation of her character and the process of playing her: "Why are people so flawed? We all are, in different degrees. Full Story

Michael and the kids

August 29, 2008 10:51:14 Posted at August 29, 2008 10:51:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Was just about to go off Michael Phelps and then this – yesterday in New York, promoting the Visa Early Swimming Program for youth. Best of all, he has his clothes off and he’s wet. Gah! So much hotter to me with his cap on. Like his face is more chiselled. I also prefer when he has Fierce Face rather than Fame Face. Full Story

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Entourage + 1

August 29, 2008 09:31:49 Posted at August 29, 2008 09:31:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Season 5 premieres on HBO September 7th and in Canada on TMN and Movie Central the same evening. Many members of the media screened the first 2 episodes this week. Was fortunate enough to be included and while the show has been criticised recently for losing its edge during seasons 4 and 5, now that the writers’ strike is over, with the juices replenished, the boys are back. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

August 29, 2008 09:14:00 Posted at August 29, 2008 09:14:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Porny farts roses (Dlisted)

I wouldn’t wear pants either if I had her legs (Hollywood Tuna)

Rossum S&M! (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Please let this be true. Who’s taking orders from Tina Fey? (INO)

Cokehead understatement (Holy Moly UK)

Demi Moore squirts breast milk (Cele|bitchy)

What do Tori Spelling and Michael Lohan have in common? (The Blemish)

Big tits, healthy sign (IDLYITW)

Carb Face dresses like Joey Fatone (Pop Sugar)

Now he’s Christopher Nolan

August 29, 2008 08:44:26 Posted at August 29, 2008 08:44:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Or David Fincher. Pipsqueak the director. Pippy… please! Shut up and sing! Shut up and dance! But now he’s directing. A series of ads for William Rast – Justin Timberlake wrote and directed and composed the score for the vignettes, the first three of which have been posted to the William Rast website Full Story