Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 13:59:42 July 22, 2009 13:59:42

This article will be a novel. I can feel it already. Many of us were introduced to Michael Jackson and Madonna and Prince and Whitney Houston in the 80s – remarkable, iconic artists who totally changed the game. It’s a cliché these days, and even more so in the wake of MJ’s death, but they really don’t make them like they used to anymore. Full Story

Is this how you want to start your morning?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 12:25:44 July 22, 2009 12:25:44

Not that any time is a good time for Tori Spelling’s mashed up face but it’s especially hard first thing. But viewers of the fourth hour of The Today Show this morning were greeted with this sh-t as Tori filled in for Hoda Kotb alongside Kathy Lee Gifford. Tori Spelling on morning television? Homewrecker on morning television? I did an interview last week and this came up. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 11:06:14 July 22, 2009 11:06:14

My husband wants a pair of these with a different name (Dlisted)

Someone actually has uglier tits than Victoria Beckham (Hollywood Tuna)

Then why does wear clothes 2 sizes too small on red carpets? (Just Jared)

A porn girl tries to exploit a parent pimp (The Superficial)

Twi-Hards are wetting themselves!!! (Pop Sugar)

You mean Lauren Conrad can’t help her with this problem? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Mom abs! Jealous! (The Blemish)

Photo Assumption on JLo’s face: she did not approve of this purchase (INO)

Amazing video. Hot and heroic (Towleroad)

Ummm…Hugh Dancy is really growing on me (ASL)

Did the journalist direct the commercial?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 09:58:44 July 22, 2009 09:58:44

I f-cking love this interview. And this interview must have also been conducted by the director for the Sprite commercial in Germany who thought this ad would be appropriate for television. Brad Pitt sat down with a reporter from BILD Full Story

Enough wallowing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 09:08:34 July 22, 2009 09:08:34

Good. Porny is going back to the gym. She wallowed in her jammies for a couple of weeks after Tony Romo bailed on her and now, obviously, she called up Ken Paves, told him to do her hair, had a makeup artist come by and apply the “natural” look, and made arrangements to be photographed emerging from break up hell. Full Story

Emma is the best

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 08:36:27 July 22, 2009 08:36:27

Emma Thompson adopted an African son. It did not make headlines around the world. And he wasn’t a toddler at the time. His name is Tindy and he was welcomed into Emma’s family when he was 16, a Rwandan refugee newly arrived in England after fleeing the war torn country. They met at a Refugee Council event six years ago. Full Story

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RDJ’s great hair day

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 07:49:15 July 22, 2009 07:49:15

At the premiere of Orphan last night, Robert Downey Jr accompanied his wife Susan, a producer on the film, on the carpet, totally working a really great hair day. Sexy beast. As you can see, he was easily the star of the night, eclipsing the actual stars of the movie, and while this is usually offside, his presence will probably give Orphan more attention than it would have received otherwise, and all this in support of Susan, with whom he’ll be celebrating 4 years of marriage in August. Full Story

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Shelfy rehearses

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 07:00:12 July 22, 2009 07:00:12

Just over a week away from Shelf Ass Jessica Biel’s debut in Guys & Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl. Think about “I’ve Never Been In Love Before” and Shelfy singing it. Really? Maybe JT is helping her. Or maybe she’ll just perform the entire show in a bikini with her ass facing the crowd. Full Story

Two cheaters, one scored wife

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 06:41:40 July 22, 2009 06:41:40

And everyone’s a famewhore! It’s a new nursery rhyme. Hollywood styles. So LeAnn Rimes marries a maybe gaybe, she soon finds out it’s not maybe, and tries to hag out it for a few years, and then costars with Eddie Cibrian in a made for tv movie, and they can’t control their horny, and they start f-cking on the sly, but end up getting caught by a closed circuit television at some restaurant, and he denies it because he’s married with 2 young children, and his wife Brandi starts talking to the tabloids telling everyone LeAnn keeps coming after Eddie’s cock, and now they’ve been busted, yet again, sneaking around at a friend’s house, as recently as last Friday, which is why Brandi has decided to announce via Us Weekly Full Story

Two girls, one limo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 06:30:30 July 22, 2009 06:30:30

Both former “It” girls, both around the same age, both with body issues, both experts at denial, both f-cked up, and they found themselves together one night in a limo, not alone, accompanied by assistants and business agents and other Hollywood hangers-on, and of course cranked up on something, and touching led to feeling led to stroking, led to … The slightly more famous of the two on her knees, head between the legs of the other, totally givin’er, as the others sat by awkwardly, and the recipient with her head thrown back totally enjoying it even though, in showbiz, to receive doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a preference. Full Story

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dear Gossips,

There’s a direct flight from Vancouver to Newark and at that time of night it only takes half an hour to get to the city. When I arrived in Newark I loitered for a few minutes like Marcus Flutie in Megan McCafferty’s Perfect Fifths. Was also tempted to take the monorail and write haikus but it was late and there’s a lot to do today.

Will post my thoughts on Perfect Fifths and the entire Jessica Darling series soon but in short: McCafferty is criminally underrated. She is briefly featured in the book section on this site – click here – and will receive a proper asskissing now that Jessica’s story is complete.

As for being in New York – this day can’t pass quickly enough. Am here because etalk and I have been invited to an exclusive listening session tonight for Whitney Houston’s new album I Look To You with Clive Davis and…Whitney herself! Gah!

Not sure how to hold it together in the same room with Whitney Houston. I worshipped Whitney Houston growing up. Afraid I might do something really, really f-cking embarrassing. Like ask for a hug or something.


No but seriously…why do people ask celebrities for hugs???

“Thanks God” there will be cocktails.

Am pretty sure they’re confiscating all gadgets and devices at the event. But if not, of course I will be on Twitter. And if so, will mad tweet about it right after and also blog about it tomorrow.

For now though there’s a full day of gossip ahead. Am posting til I have to do my hair and decide what to wear, which won’t be til early evening. Check back often! And scroll down for articles missed yesterday.

Yours in gossip,