What a difference…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2009 06:48:08 January 29, 2009 06:48:08

My girl Porny arriving in Virginia yesterday after a sh-tstorm this week over her body. Have always said, Jessica Simpson is at her best casual, with minimum makeup and natural(ish) hair. On these occasions, usually at airports, she is a knockout. SO pretty. Unfortunately, as a result of her low classy taste, and her dumbass hairstylist Ken Paves, the stage Jess is always too loud, too poufy, too tranny, too Porny, too high-waisted, and two belts. Full Story

January 29, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2009 06:08:00 January 29, 2009 06:08:00

Happy 35th Birthday Maureen! With love from your sister Megan. To Diane in New Jersey– Happy Birthday and thanks so much for the loyal support of this site!  Full Story

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dear Gossips,

One of the sh-tty things about being away from home, aside from missing my Marcus even though he probably doesn’t miss us because he’s staying with his best friend Kona and their lives consist of fun and snacks and naps and what a spoiled little punk and sorry I digress, is the digital cable. I am a slave to my DVR. And I missed the Project Runway Canada premiere last night – gah!

Season 1 was appointment television for us. Even the husband. A fully Canadian first class production…

And Iman >>> Heidi Klum

Anyway, if you watched please send an update. Am unable to move forward unless I know the beginning.

Wednesday – still blogging from Toronto. Will be speaking at the Canadian Marketing Association Business of Ideas Forum at the Royal York tomorrow afternoon. You should come if you can! Getting smutty with a crowd in business suits. How many are closet gossips? Can you spot a closet Brangelunatic? They are very angry right now about the Oscar campaign suggestions. Like, how else are the Pitts supposed to exit an airport? They’d never set their kids up to be photographed.

No. Never.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Granny before and after

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 16:30:01 January 28, 2009 16:30:01

It’s Gran! She’s in Rome for Nine with Daniel Day-Lewis, the longest shoot ever! Can’t wait to see how Nine will play out. Because it’s currently slated for a November 2009 release which means Harvey Weinstein will push for Oscar season… And among all of those actresses, which ones will he promote for contention and which will be asked to take a backseat? And will they claw each other’s eyes out as a result? What if it comes down to Granny and Penelope Cruz? Please. Full Story

Please.Make.Her.Stop

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 15:08:02 January 28, 2009 15:08:02

No.NO.NOOOOOOOOOOOO. F-cking Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. Her. Like it wasn’t enough that she put out a Tom Waits cover album last year. Now…now she’s covering Jeff Buckley. I just… I can’t… Am not being facetious, this made me want to cry. And I’m not a weeper. Full Story

Size 2 is everywhere

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 13:15:34 January 28, 2009 13:15:34

This Porny Simpson business… As you know, these photos have made headlines everywhere. Like if the Brange hadn’t come along to show off the family in Tokyo, Porny’s pictures would have been the top story all week long. But no one beats the Brange. For the record, in the original article here posted on Monday, I wrote very clearly that “Jessica Simpson has a lovely body. Full Story

Prada Double!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 12:44:34 January 28, 2009 12:44:34

New issue of Hello! Canada with Hot Harry on a Horse and Chelsy on the cover but inside… a sweet little treat! Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway became close on set of Devil Wears Prada, they were both disappointed by their men last year: Anne of course because she was betrayed by a swindler, and Emily wasted too much time with that cheating cheese dick Michael Buble. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 12:01:12 January 28, 2009 12:01:12

They’re not dating…he’s just a close-talker (Dlisted)

Why is this bitch everywhere??? (Hollywood Tuna)

LipGloss Hello Kitty! (Just Jared)

My guilty pleasure: Kelly Clarkson (Pop Sugar)

Vintage Fox still skank (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Harry loves gays and gays love Harry (INO)

How Zeta explains her “39” (Cele|bitchy)

Little Sci sibling en route? (A Socialite's Life)

Is this Lohan or Cyrus? (ICYDK)

Cheating on Porny? (IDLYITW)

Abs, abs, abs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 11:07:52 January 28, 2009 11:07:52

Damn. Abs. Britney. She's been steering clear of the paps for weeks - a very smart strategy. Because the less we see of her, the hungrier we get, the hungrier we are for the tour. It's back to Disney-style control, see? Team Britney is now controlling Brand Britney...which is why the only shots we're seeing are the ones posted on her official site BritneySpears. Full Story

Not sad smut, just big douche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2009 10:13:01 January 28, 2009 10:13:01

Many of you kind hearted souls were worried about Joaquin Phoenix - his unkempt appearance, his BYE GOOD retirement, his bizarre antics - and you appealed to have him classified as sad smut. JP is not sad smut. But he is a f-cking loser. So the rap endeavour, his explanation to People Magazine that it's his life's dream in hip hop - not so. Full Story