June 22, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 22, 2009 07:25:18 June 22, 2009 07:25:18

Happy Birthday Mel Q! Have heard the year hasn’t been the best so far. Well then it’s time to turn it around. Wishing you better shoes and a better man! And I will side with you over your Aunt Sharon – some dudes can totally pull off work coveralls. The problem is the rest of the package. Full Story

Friday, June 19, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Jennifer Aniston is nothing if not predictable. She went out on a date last night in New York. Conveniently she wasn’t able to keep it a secret. Conveniently he’s one of the hottest stars of the summer. Conveniently the Brange have been making headlines this week for their philanthropic efforts. Tit for tat forever.


Chicago was blessed last night by Johnny Depp. A thousand screaming fans cried out for more. He gave them what they could. And unlike those batsh-t Twi-hards, he was not strangled, nor was his life endangered. At this point young Robert Pattinson must be a neurotic mess.

It’s Friday. It’s MMVA weekend! Will be tweeting from the MMVAs on Sunday – check my Twitter here and a full report on Monday. Maybe by then I’ll be besties with Alex Ovechkin, repeat Hart Trophy winner.

And don’t forget – the line up does not start until 6am on Sunday. Police will turn away those who camp out! Be safe kids!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Are you coming to S.M.U.T.? Location will be sent via email on Monday. Keep checking here for new details about the event. As for your message about what to wear: wear whatever you want. Wear something you’ll want to be photographed in. Me I haven’t decided. All I know is that I really, really don’t want to wear heels.

PPS. Bro Massage is not Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. Also not Keith Urban and Brad Paisley. And not Jude Law and Ewan McGregor.

Princess AssTalk keeps her job

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 16:30:26 June 19, 2009 16:30:26

It was reported earlier this week that TR Knight will not be returning to Grey’s Anatomy. Many wondered if his ungrateful asstalking f-cking hag of a bestie Katherine Heigl would be following him out the door, seeing as she’s considered – ugh! – a movie star now. People.com Full Story

Vagina Virgin Hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 14:05:20 June 19, 2009 14:05:20

So the Jonas Brothers played in New York today and I looked at these photos and I was making ew gross that’s nasty faces because what the f-ck is this hair and why are they wearing it? And then Michelle and Jen B had to jump in all reasonable and mature, explaining that they’d take this natural curl, as lame as it is, over the straight iron look of LipGloss BlenderLegs MoistFace Zac Efron and, yeah, I couldn’t disagree. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 13:01:08 June 19, 2009 13:01:08

Let this video get you ready for the weekend (Dlisted)

Audrina Patridge: very ordinary without hair and makeup (Hollywood Tuna)

Britney’s gift to the English people (The Superficial)

Even MORE Reese bitchface!!! (Just Jared)

What Megan Fox wore to Russia (Popoholic)

Ryan Reynolds is a douche but he has a great leather jacket (Pop Sugar)

I don’t understand who would buy her calendar (Drunken Stepfather)

Would you pay this much for Three Whiskers Bloom? (INO)

Seriously. Please let this suit become a trend (Towleroad)

Ed Westwick puckers up (ASL)

Three in a row

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 10:58:58 June 19, 2009 10:58:58

I'm obsessed. With Reese Witherspoon's bitchface. Like every day. Check it out again in Washington, clearly not amused, something rammed up her ass. Love it so much. Such a refreshing change. Not sure what's been biting Reese's nasty knob lately but she's clearly not as capable of camaflouging her inside hag as she is ordinarily. Full Story

Famewhore finds her Hair Twin!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 09:22:50 June 19, 2009 09:22:50

Her obviousness never ceases to amaze me. The Brange has been front and centre all week giving their millions away. Angelina Jolie was in DC yesterday hugging refugees and crying about their suffering. She was also on Anderson Cooper and The Today Show with her Earth Mother face saving the world. But yesterday was also the day Jennifer Aniston’s Love (but really Sh-t) Happens trailer arrived online. Full Story

One Night in Leighton?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 08:29:50 June 19, 2009 08:29:50

The stupidness of youth… TMZ is reporting that there is a Leighton Meester sex tape that will soon hit the market, shot a few years ago, Leighton prancing around nude, and engaging in some kinky sh-t with her feet. Full Story

Johnny Depp charms Chicago

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2009 07:23:09 June 19, 2009 07:23:09

Of course he did. He’s Johnny Depp. And he’s wonderful. He was wonderful last night in Chicago at the premiere of Public Enemies with co-stars Christian Bale and a rather subdued Marion Cotillard. Christian, per usual, was with his beautiful wife Sibi. She’s even more so in person. Full Story

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