Lolita hates Lilo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 08:27:13 November 13, 2008 08:27:13

The energy is smutty today. Everyone is fighting. Everyone hates everyone else. The air is thick with drama, it’s the ideal temperature – gossip is growing! Next in the ring: Lindsay Lohan and Hayden Panettiere. Milo’s little Lolita was shopping the other day when she was approached by a few fans who apparently mistook her for Lilo Full Story

JailBait CakeFace

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 08:01:38 November 13, 2008 08:01:38

Miley Cyrus has finally succeeded in looking older than Ali Lohan. Congratulations! Check out JailBait at the CMAs last night if you can find her under that volcano of makeup that’s exploded all over her face. The point of being young and youthful and no wrinkles and NOT EVEN 16 (!) is to not have to embellish, isn’t it? Or was it? If looking OLD is in, why does Granny Nicole Kidman keep mutilating her face? JailBait brought along her dad and her 20 year old boyfriend Justin Gaston to the event amid rumours that he’s now living with her family. Full Story

Country Wax

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 07:58:58 November 13, 2008 07:58:58

Carrie Underwood won big last night at the CMAs. She also changed, like, 45 times. And each time she came out, she still looked like her wax figure so in the style department, she’s not exactly kicking Porny Simpson’s ass… As for that mall hair I mentioned in reference to Taylor Swift – straight on top, curly on bottom – perfect example right here on Country’s biggest bitch whose ego, if you can believe it, is actually heavier and more volatile, than her hair. Full Story

Lifetime Achievement Award

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 07:26:00 November 13, 2008 07:26:00

Is that the old lady recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award at the CMAs this year? No. That is Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman looking elderly on the red carpet. And, once again, drawing attention to her belly. Like there might be something in there. Or reminding us that there was something in there. Full Story

Red Belle Lips

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 07:16:30 November 13, 2008 07:16:30

Reese Witherspoon presented last night at the CMAs looking so happy and so healthy, in red lips and black lace and big hair and embracing the country spirit. Reese is just kicking off promotion now for Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn. Movie poster is attached. She really is that short. He really is that tall. Full Story

Teen Triangle!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 07:06:00 November 13, 2008 07:06:00

F-ck the Brange and Aniston. Teen cheating is what it’s all about. So Taylor Swift was dating one of the Jonas Brothers. Joe, I think? Whatever. They broke up, she decided not to take the discreet route, told everybody he did it over the phone, in like, 27 seconds, all conveniently while she’s promoting her new record. Full Story

Backpedalling with the Mighty Opes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 06:42:59 November 13, 2008 06:42:59

I might actually PVR this sh-t. If only to see how far Oprah jumps up Jennifer Aniston’s ass. The show taped yesterday, will air today, and as you would expect, the two were as gushy feely as they’ve always been. According to audience members, Jennifer’s words for the Brange were decidedly more kind and conciliatory than what she had to say in Vogue. Full Story

November 13, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 06:36:49 November 13, 2008 06:36:49

Heads up Vancouver: it’s Free Froyo Day! Froyo Swirl just opened in Yaletown – in the spirit of Pinkberry with a Canadian twist. Today between 11am and 5pm pop in and try it out FOR FREE! My favourite word! After twat. 820 Homer Street. Full Story

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Friday Night Gay? Yay! Ausiello reported yesterday that someone came out on Friday Night Lights last night.

Who was it? No! Don’t tell me! I have to know! Wait! I can’t!

UGH!

FNL is currently airing on DirecTV and will premiere on conventional television in January. Many of you have been cheating online, which is cool, but please… please don’t let it die. I’ve attached an incentive.

For those of you returning from holiday – scroll down to get caught up! New posts were added late yesterday and the day before.

Wednesday – blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

The Great Australian Headline

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 15:39:00 November 12, 2008 15:39:00

This appeared in today’s Daily Telegraph in Australia. If you don’t want her infection, you don’t need the details about her diseased f*cking diseased party on New Year’s Eve. Because the headline is enough. While we’re at it though, can you believe this sh-t is Pay Per View online? For $55??? Who are the losers shelling out $55 to pay per view with Ebola stanky Hilton??? Thanks Lucy! To view the full article click here. Full Story

The Bluths are alive!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 14:55:41 November 12, 2008 14:55:41

Oh toying with our emotions! First they were all like, yeah yeah it’s coming back. They’ll be a movie. Then Michael Cera was like, no, I’m a movie star, I don’t want to be George Michael. But now… Just the other night… Jeffrey Tambor confirmed that It.Is.Happening. Full Story