Madonna, Masturbation, and the Mighty Opes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 08:48:13 April 13, 2009 08:48:13

Lately, instead of Madonna the pop star, it’s been all about Madonna the Mother – she’s still using her considerable resources to appeal Mercy’s Malawian adoption rejection, and also donated $500,000 to earthquake recovery efforts in Italy… Her face doesn’t seem to be as scary stretched and pulled either. Full Story

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Porny emerges cruise-bound

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 07:13:04 April 13, 2009 07:13:04

She’s maintained a very low profile since completing her country tour. But with the confirmation last week that she’d been dumped by her country label, yet another Fail notch on her Fail Bait, it was time to show face and stick her chin up and out. Never let them know you’re down. Which is why Papa Joe dragged Porny’s ass out to Beso the other night for a family dinner. Full Story

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Matthew McConaughey Gold Mouth

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 06:56:44 April 13, 2009 06:56:44

What is Gold Mouth? Gold Mouth is Karl Lagerfeld. And Giorgio Armani. Valentino. Or Iman. Gold Mouth is the amazingness that occurs every time these people open their mouths. When they speak, it is gold. Matthew McConaughey must be added to the list even though he makes sh-t movies and the same one over and over again, like the rom-com version of Nicholas Cage, only not weird and fidgety and a model baby mother instead of a mail order bride. Full Story

LipGloss Fist Pump

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 06:41:26 April 13, 2009 06:41:26

As mentioned above, it’s the fist pump that gave it away: he wanted it so badly. To be accepted by those who don’t have a curfew. To appeal to a new demographic – a demographic that isn’t impressed with this hair. To be considered cool. The fist pumping is so not cool. The hair is even more uncool. Full Story

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Friday, April 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Sorry about the late start. Haven’t slept in in forever. Sleeping in is like fried rice. In fact, I think I might have it for breakfast. Vegetarian styles. It’s Good Friday.

A brief day of posting – another fresh batch New Moon set photos on the way and a few loose ends. Like more f-ckery from BBT. He keeps calling Jian Ghomeshi – the journalist who stood up to him during that now infamous radio interview – an asshole. Oh Billy Bob…only Shiloh can save you now.

Enjoy your long weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Russell Crowe is not the smoker.

Hot Easter Dad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2009 11:17:35 April 10, 2009 11:17:35

In Italy with his 3 boys yesterday enjoying some Beckham man-time. Brooklyn is OLD now. This never fails to amaze me. Like with our nephew Oliver. I met him when he was 2. And now he’s almost 11. Easter Sunday with the big Polish family – 3 kids, 3 cats, a dog, 8 adults, one house, and hopefully a lot of alcohol. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2009 10:57:00 April 10, 2009 10:57:00

Will you have this for Easter? (Dlisted)

Lilo in Hammer Pants (Hollywood Tuna)

Hayden’s mom loves Rachel (Just Jared)

Violence is wrong, but wouldn’t you punch them? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Happy SamRo without Lilo (Pop Sugar)

Easter gift: Bale running! (INO)

She-Skank to be She-Hulk? (Cele|bitchy)

Losing babyfat is the new excuse (Popeater)

That hair! Is he trying to grow a bob? (ASL)

HER? Best Dressed? Really??? (Kickette)

Approaching 40

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2009 10:34:45 April 10, 2009 10:34:45

And fabulous too!??!?? No. Jennifer Aniston already has that title cornered and she won’t let anyone else borrow. But this is Jennifer Lopez, in the audience watching her husband Marc Anthony perform last night at the Seminole Hard Rock and Casino in Florida. She applauded enthusiastically, worked her ass around all night, and, as you can see, looks great. Full Story

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Unrepentant BBT

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2009 10:16:00 April 10, 2009 10:16:00

Click here for a refresher if you missed the story this week – BBT’s shenanigans on CBC radio that have pretty much earned him universal disdain. We can all agree: Billy Bob Thornton is a total douche. Full Story

April 10, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2009 09:51:54 April 10, 2009 09:51:54

Happy Birthday Linda N in Ottawa! It’s been a long time that you’ve been visiting my blog – thank you, love you, owe you! For Brandi – was SO great to meet you during the Junos. Where are those photos? I want to see! Wishing you a very, very Happy Birthday today with love from your friend Brenda who could not have made it through the year without you. Full Story