Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 12:01:20 June 29, 2009 12:01:20

Karl looks disgusting by the sparkly lady parts! (Dlisted)

Diddy needs a slap in the face (The Superficial)

Halle Berry’s baby is an angel! (Just Jared)

I love animal shirts. And Megan Fox is wearing one. (Hollywood Tuna)

Brad Pitt in guido pants (Pop Sugar)

What do you think of the pockets hanging out? (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

The only kind of man still interested in Tara Reid’s ghetto tits (INO)

Mischa Barton spaced and cracked out with a weird accent on video (Zoe Griffin)

How Tori and KFed Jr are paying for their strollers (ICYDK)

John Mayer isn’t asstalking. For once. (ASL)

17 Days

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 09:59:55 June 29, 2009 09:59:55

Just over 2 weeks away…gah! It’s crawling by! In the meantime, because of the tight schedule shooting both parts of The Deathly Hallows back to back, the kids have been limited on promotion. This is why they’ve yet walk carpet after carpet all around the world, and they probably don’t have to either. Full Story

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Here comes brown

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 08:46:05 June 29, 2009 08:46:05

When the bad sh-t happened, she was almost always brown. Chicken Fried Crazy comes out super strong when she’s a brunette… Terrible memories. But perhaps all that has changed now, especially since the meds are under control. Britney was out and about this weekend with her agent (and boyfriend) Jason Trawick showing off a new dark hued weave. Full Story

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Crackhead birthday party

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 07:55:08 June 29, 2009 07:55:08

She’s turning 23 on July 2nd but you’d think she’d be at least 10 years older, right? Lindsay Lohan celebrated in Vegas over the weekend looking like she’s been opening her legs for crack for the last decade, and perhaps pimp-beaten and left in an alley on more than one occasion. Full Story

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Alicia would never

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 07:08:20 June 29, 2009 07:08:20

I love Alicia Keys. So much. It would kill me if she turned out to be a twat. I interviewed Alicia briefly at the Superbowl in 2008 in Phoenix. Michelle was producing. And I remember both of us, even though our loins were pointed in the direction of John Krasinski, both of us were totally girlcrushing on her. Full Story

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Everything but the shoes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 06:56:09 June 29, 2009 06:56:09

Beyonce at the BET Awards last night wearing the best dress of the night no doubt. It’s exquisite. And she looks exquisite in it. Great hair, cute accessories…everything but the shoes. Cheap and gimmicky shoes, non? Tina must have told her to. B’s husband Jay-Z was there too. No idea if they arrived in a Maybach together or tried to push ambulances out of the way while paramedics were tending to an elderly lady suffering from a heart attack. Full Story

Monday Morning Jackson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 06:35:47 June 29, 2009 06:35:47

This is for CJ. And all the rest who email me daily saying enough of Robert Pattinson, what about Jackson Rathbone? Indeed. But Jackson is harder to find. Which is why we should get started this Monday morning by sipping on some of his sexy. This is Jackson in New York at the WordTheatre Pushcart Press benefit reading from prize-winning story "The Bank Robbery" by Steve Schutzman. Full Story

June 29, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2009 06:30:45 June 29, 2009 06:30:45

Happy Birthday Patty in Omaha, NE! Definitely Jason Statham > Robert Pattinson. But who am I to argue with the order on your Freebie Five? And getting close to 40 is not old. Not at all. To Hilary, the much younger, slightly more attractive sister – says Jennifer! – Happy “new 30”! Enjoy Harry! And yes, I’m holding it against her too for not getting me that interview with the disgraced star. Full Story

Friday, June 26, 2009

Dear Gossips,

I was born 11 months before my Cousin Cat. Someone once said I spent the rest of the time waiting for her. We are like sisters. Sleepover weekends at least twice a month, glued to the radio late at night working on our mixed tapes, yapping until our dads told us to shut up, fighting over who would be Michael Jackson’s girlfriend. I was so jealous for years. Cat’s birthday is August 29th. She used to lord it over me all the time, a card she would pull out that shut everything else down. I had no comeback for that.

Yesterday was like we were that age all over again. A thousand memories attached to every song, and every song with its own personal association – a high school dance, a new best friend, a drama-filled family bbq. We were growing up, and he was always there.

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for some time are familiar with the no sad smut policy. This is the reason I’ve rarely, if ever, written about Michael Jackson. And that will not change. There are many sites that can provide you with minute by minute mourning updates and information. If however you’d like a distraction from the death, and something frivolous to enjoy, or some twihard hatemail to laugh about, or some hotness to quiver over, I of course invite you to come here. I would love it if you came here.

Wishing you a good weekend.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Thanks to Kelly and Dave for the photo.

Enjoying his Cup(s)

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 14:43:13 June 26, 2009 14:43:13

Heh. I’ve been saving this one since Wednesday. Friday afternoon is the perfect time. My favourite photos of the week. It’s Evgeni Malkin and his girlfriend Oksana in Miami. My husband, as I’ve told you he’s a guy’s guy. Ball scratching, sports watching, boob loving, guy’s guy. Full Story

Everybody loves Sandra

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 26, 2009 14:22:52 June 26, 2009 14:22:52

Sandra Bullock fought back on behalf of the Movie Star last week as The Proposal surprisingly earned over $30 million, way exceeding industry projections. Formulaic chick flick but whatever. In the war against reality losers and the democratisation of celebrity, a real star like Sandra driving a romcom all the way to the top is definitely something I can live with. Full Story

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