Too much happiness

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 13:03:07 November 18, 2008 13:03:07

Last night’s Gossip Girl was probably the worst episode ever in the show’s history. Ugh. Like, nothing bad happened. And nothing horrible was said to anyone. And Chuck didn’t zing. And Blair didn’t sass. And Serena put away her tits. And wore a horrible outfit for Thanksgiving. Full Story

Interpreting her jail sentence

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 12:13:44 November 18, 2008 12:13:44

Less than 2 weeks away from the release of Circus and Britney’s MTV documentary For the Record which promises to be as candid of a celebrity reveal as has been seen in recent years. Quotes and clips are now starting to leak from the programme, the most insightful has been Britney’s explanation  Full Story

JailBait, Gay Pilots, Soul Patches, and Mr T

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 10:18:52 November 18, 2008 10:18:52

Last night at the Hollywood premiere of Bolt, going head to head with Twilight at the box office this weekend. Family movies vs Vampires and Bond too. It’s a heavyweight battle. Who wins? I’ll settle for Twilight or Bond > the Gay Pilot and JailBait…you? Here’s Travolty on the carpet with Disney JailBait and her beat-me mouth and also her father Billy Ray Cyrus with that f-cking ridiculous soul patch that’s right up there with acid wash as a label for Loser. Full Story

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Just blur the bad parts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 09:24:00 November 18, 2008 09:24:00

I promise. I’m over my Michael Phelps sickness. But GQ is announcing its Men of the Year. And he made the list. And they took this photo. And just… just blur the bad part. Focus on the leather jacket over the hot hoodie. Full Story

Better than the books

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 09:14:00 November 18, 2008 09:14:00

Have heard from several sane, non fangirl, non fanmom (who are even worse, really) in the business attendees at last night’s Twilight premiere and it’s unanimous: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in the film, the chemistry, their vibe, it’s electrifying, and in their estimation and these are not my words: “It’s the new Notebook. Full Story

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Mom makes it better

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 08:16:50 November 18, 2008 08:16:50

Remember when Adrien Brody sprayed his cheese all over the pages of Hello Magazine and lost us forever? Click here if you need a reminder or a source of endless amusement on a bleak Tuesday morning. Full Story

Mrs Reynolds and her rack

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 07:47:02 November 18, 2008 07:47:02

It’s the first thing you notice, isn’t it? Boobs. Scarlett Johansson on the cover and behind the scenes for the new issue of Allure. Sultry, sexpot, sick crazy body, and … Boobs. During the interview, Scarjo is asked about Lindsay Lohan and the infamous bathroom wall incident – do you remember? A couple of years ago Lilo, coked out of her mind, and hanging out with Kate Moss at the time, scrawled “Scarlett is a bloody c—t” at some club. Full Story

Sexy and the Senior

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 07:18:37 November 18, 2008 07:18:37

Sexy Hugh Jackman escorted his senior citizen co-star Granny Freeze to the photo call and premiere of Australia today in Australia. As you can see, he’s as dashing as ever. And she, while stately and elegant, looks like she’s 60 despite the flawless skin. Nicole Kidman thinks herself Australia’s princess. Full Story

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November 18, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 06:54:08 November 18, 2008 06:54:08

Happy Birthday Jen M in NB with love from Melissa! To my dear little smutty whore, Carrie O from Toronto – Wishing you a Happy 26th Birthday and all the fun that the festivities will bring to you this week!! Just remember that Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that individuals who have the most live the longest. Full Story

Monday, November 17, 2008

Dear Gossips

Justin Timberlake should stop making movies. Because his movies suck sh-t. Because he can’t act. He can however perform live. And now that he’s acquired permanent residence in New York, joining Saturday Night Live wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Pippy might be a douchy but always kills it on SNL. And he killed it again this weekend. Video is below but NBC is super lightning stealth about pulling their clips down. Sorry if it’s already gone. Somehow Shelf Ass managed to work her way into his monologue too. Well done Shelfy! Everybody wins! Including Beyonce who was done a disservice by the Mighty Oprah last week when she appeared on the show during the last half hour of the Jennifer Aniston episode…which means her interview and her performance was largely ignored.

Way to go to bat for your girl, Opesy.

How ironic then that it was Lorne who let her shine giving Sasha Fierce ample opportunity to cut her cheese. If Mimi is a block of cheddar, Sasha Fierce is buffalo mozzarella. The finger pointing, the stand-still strut, the eye contact with the camera, the precarious double side tape holding down her breasts, and the f-cking wind machine … cannot get enough of her EXTRA! You can’t take your eyes off of Beyonce’s EXTRA! Her EXTRA is amazing! And the way she flails her EXTRA around on high heels dancing nonstop while remaining in complete control is a day at school for losers like Ashlee Simpson who has the nerve to call herself an artist.

Busy weekend including Bond domination. More on that below and also, exclusive behind-the-scenes squealy details about the Twilight cast visit in Toronto that, yes, involves Robert Pattinson.

Monday – am blogging all day. Check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Justin’s pants. Textbook.


PPS. Seth Meyer’s chair dancing. Yum.

Justin Timberlake Weekend Update