Monday, August 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Finally a box office win for Sienna Miller courtesy of G.I. Joe, perhaps the first time she’s been attached to a movie that’s actually made money. And this of course was the intention. Despite horrid comments from critics, Joe earned more than $55 million at the box office. My favourite review comes courtesy Roger Ebert. He says he hated G.I. Joe less than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen but still…

It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence. Nevertheless, it is better than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. There is never any clear sense in the action of where anything is in relation to anything else. You get more of a binary action strategy. You see something, it fires. You see something else, it gets hit. Using the power of logic, you deduce that the first thing was aiming at the second thing.


Good news?

(500) Days of Summer is, yes, indeed the sleeper hit of the summer. Go see!

Please note – there was a bonus column yesterday (Sunday). SCROLL DOWN to get caught up on John Mayer’s latest f-ckery and more.

Today – JailBait Miley Cyrus is 16 years old. She performed at the Teen Choice Awards last night on a pole. More from the TCAs below. Am online all day, check back often.

And for those of you who’ve been emailing about etalk: we were on hiatus for a couple of weeks and we’re back today with all new exclusives and photos and onsets. See you in studio!

Yours in gossip,


How to get Strange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 16:39:53 August 10, 2009 16:39:53

My shamef-ck is Ed Westwick. For some of you, it’s Russell Brand. Don’t lie. I know. Especially if you’ve read My Booky Wook. Best title ever. And look at him. In London shooting Get Him To The Greek in his amazing exercise outfit skeezing out the world, loving every minute, and collecting a LOT of strange along the way. Full Story

How to behave

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 14:56:48 August 10, 2009 14:56:48

Like a douche? So apparently it wasn’t his mother – click here to read Sunday’s article about John Mayer out for dinner with two older ladies in his monogrammed jacket trying to be funny. Full Story

How to Post Grad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 11:58:36 August 10, 2009 11:58:36

Gilmore Girls + Friday Night Lights… I was never hooked on Rory and Lorelei. But I am terribly, terribly fond of Alexis Bledel. As you know, I’m also balls crazy about Friday Night Lights. Friday Night Lights actors are almost always ignored. So how about some love for Zach Gilford and his co-star Alexis Bledel at Teen Choice last night to promote Post Grad? It doesn’t look super original. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 11:06:52 August 10, 2009 11:06:52

Chicken Fried Britney is missing something (Dlisted)

Benji Madden left this for Ebola? Dumb. (Hollywood Tuna)

Cameron Diaz: the class of last night (Just Jared)

Jeremy Piven vs Mango! (The Superficial)

So. F-cking. Cute! (Pop Sugar)

Filthy Scab has no beauty secrets (no kidding) and wakes up every morning with…her minister? (INO)

Oh shame. Gwyneth gets smacked down by a no lister (Cele|bitchy)

Can’t put my finger on what’s weird about Heather Graham’s body (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Brunette famewhore becomes blonde famewhore (Popeater)

Ugh. Halle Berry BumpWatch (ASL)

How to be a player

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 09:26:56 August 10, 2009 09:26:56

Jennifer Aniston, also known as 40 and Fabulous!, has been battling Snapface Renee Zellweger, 40 too, for the affections of Bradley Cooper. Renee seems to have surged ahead of late. She and Coop (with whom she co-starred on Case 39) and a couple of friends (?) are currently in Barcelona, having travelled there together out of New York. Full Story

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How to be a Manslinger

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 09:15:12 August 10, 2009 09:15:12

Ashley Greene is heading back to Vancouver. Before leaving this morning she said goodbye to Chace Crawford. With her lips. See? And his eyes are closed… Because… You fill in the blank. With a boy. Ashley and Chace were both at the Teen Choice Awards last night. Wonder if they slept or if he kept her up asking a million questions about Robert Pattinson’s favourite colours. Full Story

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How to be gross

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 08:13:59 August 10, 2009 08:13:59

Ew! F-ck! Sick! Check out Ed Westwick shamef-cking the Teen Choice Awards last night… I can’t look at thisWithout dry heaving and yetI still cannot stop Lara and I have him in common. We send each other crude texts about him, texts I’d love to publish but the prudey ones among you would surely complain. Full Story

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How to be the same

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 07:43:00 August 10, 2009 07:43:00

There was an article published recently about the new Hollywood Leading Man – click here to read - claiming they’re all looking “eerily similar”, super generic, and it’s hard to tell one from the other, leaving the writer to posit that there’s an alarming shortage of real men among celebrities because they’ve all been replaced by floppy haired boys. Full Story

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How to be 20

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2009 06:50:11 August 10, 2009 06:50:11

She still has a year to go but it’s hard to believe Kristen Stewart and Hayden Panettiere are only 12 months apart. One seems to be well into her 30s. The other is content at 19, embracing 19, dressing the way a 19 year old can – with imagination, with creativity, with originality… Kristen Stewart isn’t a fashion plate every day. Full Story

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