Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 11:34:11 May 20, 2009 11:34:11

So I just wrapped on the carpet at the Palais. Now headed to another event. Follow my tweets! Will post about Brange as soon as I have a chance! They were crazy gorgeous tonight.

In the meantime, please see below - my friends will smut you. Commentary by my hubby so please excuse us in advance…

Mother of ***! Mask please! (DListed)

Number two on my Freebie 5 on the carpet in Cannes (JustJared)

She might be on it if she ate occasionally (PopSugar)

Hayden Panettiere making me question my sexuality. Brrr. (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Gisele setting me straight again (Hollywood Tuna)

Aniston exhausted from not being talked about daily (INO)

Lilo on her way to important meetings cause she’s serious (ASL)

T.I.’s situation in jail (Cele|bitchy)

Ebola making a Petri dish of the waters near Cannes (IDLYITW)

Chris Pine – I don’t get it. He just doesn’t look right. It’s the head shape and the forehead - eye relationship (The Superficial)

Which one is the Fantasy Girl?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 09:51:48 May 20, 2009 09:51:48

Porny Simpson, I think. John knew it. He had Shame Face about nailing her but he couldn’t help himself. Say what you will about her but it’s certain: there are many men out there who jerk off to Jessica Simpson. I’ve never met one however who jerks off to Jennifer Aniston. So if she is who he means, John Mayer should be checking himself. Full Story

Pitt Porn teaser!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 08:58:33 May 20, 2009 08:58:33

Tonight they’ll do it full on carpet style. But last night a little more private. Radaronline has just secured these photos of the Brange kissing last night. Full Story

Poor Man’s LipGloss?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 07:55:38 May 20, 2009 07:55:38

It’s one thing for Megan Fox to be called the Poor Man’s Angelina Jolie. I mean at least the subject is Angelina Jolie. But imitating, and failing, at imitating LipGloss? Dude, is that a good move? Zac Efron dropped out of Footloose claiming he did not want to be type cast as a singing dancing elfin. Full Story

Robo Idol

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 07:39:13 May 20, 2009 07:39:13

Thanks for your messages. I would have needed them even if not in Cannes. Haven’t watched Idol is years but hear this season that Adam Lambert saved the franchise? At least this is what Entertainment Weekly tells me. Must be why Katie Holmes showed up with Little Sci last night. Random. So who’s a fan of the show? Mom or LS? Because I’m thinking if you know the show, you know it can get loud. Full Story

Who knew?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 07:22:53 May 20, 2009 07:22:53

That Joseph Gordon Levitt had this underneath his clothes? Penis duel with Michael Cera, he wins this battle non? Don’t think Michael Cera hits the gym. Obviously Joseph Gordon Levitt has been working out. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Sound familiar?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 07:03:50 May 20, 2009 07:03:50

Once upon a time, Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe presented together at the Oscars. He told her to open the envelope because she made more money. Many raised eyebrows. I took it as a joke. But as her star began to climb, as she became one of the highest paid, most popular actresses in Hollywood, so his sulky carby face began to make more and more appearances. Full Story

Brad in the morning

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 06:52:00 May 20, 2009 06:52:00

A fried rice day indeed. The press screening was at 8:30am. Here’s how it works: thousands of journalists are accredited every year for the Cannes Film Festival. We’re able to view films at scheduled press screening times but only on a first come first serve basis colour coded by badge. For the more popular films, queuing early is critical, even if your badge is one of the higher levels. Full Story

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Pitt Tenderness

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 05:26:00 May 20, 2009 05:26:00

After a visit to The Hague, the Jolie arrived in Cannes yesterday to join Brad for dinner with the Inglourious Basterds team debunking yet again tabloid reports of a split or a meltdown. My sources say it’ll be a quick trip for Angelina. She’s taken 2 days off shooting, will join Brad on the carpet tonight, then goes back to New York to resume work while he stays here for press Thursday and Friday before returning home for1 the weekend. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

May 20, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2009 05:06:25 May 20, 2009 05:06:25

For Pam W., Don't worry you'll be 29 forever and you are younger than me! Have fun and sorry I can't be there. From your gossip and archaeology buddy Kelly. Happy Birthday Pamela W from Jennifer, Luiza, and Juliette who requested this gift – Cavalli in a speedo. Enjoy! Is the same person Pamela? Your friends LOVE you! And for Emily who is pining for summertime, the cottage, and cuddles from Mrs Madeleine. Full Story

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dear Gossips,

Am writing from “the office” at Cannes – the Vitamin Water Lounge across from the Carlton, site so far of the most well attended party on the Croisette two nights ago and they will host yet another one this evening. Just came from Penelope Cruz presser for Los Abrazos Rotos. The gala is tonight. We’re trying to get to a screening this afternoon. Heard it’s amazing.

Penelope has been suffering from food poisoning but has recovered her gorgessity in time. Pene is tiny, and makes small elegant gestures, and smiles mysteriously when Pedro Almodovar says something only she understands. Beguiling. Much more so than in the media room at the Oscars when she went on forever and I was hungry.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are expected soon for their poker tournament, just in time for a reunion with Brad Pitt. Will be another busy night. Pitt’s gala is tomorrow so the Croisette is on high alert. Ann Curry had breakfast where we did this morning – she’s here for Inglourious Basterds and there’s buzz she’ll sit down with the Jolie too. Just buzz, nothing slamdumk. Oh the Brange. It’s like the festival hasn’t really started until now.

Is it Tuesday? Am straddling time zones, so confused. Blogging all day. More Twilight exclusive photos.

Yours in gossip,


PS. How about a vampire drama that doesn’t give you blue balls and won’t make you cringe? Have you tasted True Blood? You MUST. HBO’s True Blood Season 1 is out on DVD today and I have FIVE copies to be given away to those who want to be bitten. Heh. If you’re interested, please send an email to [email protected] with TRUE BLOOD as the title before midnight pacific Friday May 22nd. Standard terms apply.

Are you ready for Season 2? It’s coming…

June 14 on HBO and HBO Canada.