Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Britney’s Womaniser video is set to premiere on Friday. But just when Chicken Fried Original is getting back on track, Chicken Fried Junior is once again causing a smutty commotion. Yay for child stardom! More on that later.

Sigh.

The rainy season has started in Vancouver and now I feel the aches in my Mischa Barton broken arm. Apparently it will be like this for life. When the weather turns and when the rain falls down, Mischa Barton will sting like a nagging whinging hag at my elbow, a creak in my bones I’ll never be able to shake. F8ck.

It’s Wednesday. Am blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. RDJ wasn’t this disappointing. Also not John Mayer

GOOPy and the Twins at Heathrow!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 15:59:00 October 8, 2008 15:59:00

No…the OTHER Twins. The Olsens. My Gwyneth arrived at Heathrow bound for NYC today and ran into MK and Ashley. You’ll note all of them are wearing flat boots and not stilettos. Even though they don’t have children to chase after. Victoria Beckham on the other hand can’t walk into an airport without at least 4 inches when she’s with her 3 boys. Full Story

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Mr Spittle’s side of the story

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 12:34:00 October 8, 2008 12:34:00

New sources have now suddenly come forward about the Gerard Butler beating incident last night. Ohhhhhh.... so he was provoked! According to pro-Butler accounts, the pap was a dickhead and tried to kill people with his car while following the star and was doing so for hours. Full Story

Spraying punches with his spittle?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 11:59:00 October 8, 2008 11:59:00

TMZ is reporting that last night, Gerard Butler allegedly attacked a pap who followed him out of a club. Gerry left Crown Bar at 2am and the photographer trailed his limo. At some point the limo stopped, Gerry got out and demanded to know why he was being tailed. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 11:23:32 October 8, 2008 11:23:32

Why wasn’t Filthy Scab invited? (Dlisted)

Veronica Mars and The Gap (Hollywood Tuna)

How’s this for a wedding dress? (Just Jared)

Scarjo’s stars and stripes (Pop Sugar)

Size 2 see-through (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Crackhead in a coffin (Holy Moly)

Adrien Brody to marry? No!!!! (INO)

An old queen attacks another queen (Cele|bitchy)

George Clooney’s perviest look (Candy Kirby)

In this environment, how will Duchovny stay “clean”? (IDLYITW)

Chez Eux

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 09:59:00 October 8, 2008 09:59:00

Photos de la Famille Pitt en arrivant a Nice cet après-midi. French is rusty. Must practise for Paris. We’re going this month! Berlin to New York to New Orleans and now home to Nice – all in less than a week! Check out the Pitts getting off the plane in France today. There’s Miss Zahara spiritedly leading the way. Full Story

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Boyfriend Jeans and Hookers

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 09:35:36 October 8, 2008 09:35:36

This is not Denise Richards. This is Lindsay Lohan. But at first glance, for half a second, I thought it was Denise Richards. And that is not a good thing. Because whatever Lilo is, she is most certainly not the worst Bond Girl/Former Heidi Fleiss Girl ever. Lilo also doesn’t attack elderly people with her laptop and accuse the father of her children of unspeakable acts only to beg him for his sperm five minutes later. Full Story

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Beyonce sings for Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 08:53:20 October 8, 2008 08:53:20

The first piece of advice on my new site BeJessicasFriend.com would be to hang out more with someone like B. Beyonce doesn’t get stepped on. And she had a daddy manager too. And even though B’s mom dresses her like sh*t, the smell of a blowjob isn’t always lingering fresh around her lips. Full Story

Canada and the Brange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 07:52:00 October 8, 2008 07:52:00

Thank you for all your emails, Canada. And forgive me. Forgive me for not immediately picking out out a very popular Canadian. I was blinded by the Porn and the Brange. And remember what I said last week – the domestics are not for me. I don’t watch the home painting shows. I don’t watch the make your own closet shows. Full Story

Halle’s sexy sh*ts and giggles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2008 07:25:00 October 8, 2008 07:25:00

She’s been named by Esquire as the Sexiest Woman Alive. Word. Not even the Jolie could argue with that. With the help of writer Tom Chiarella, Halle Berry wrote her own article of acceptance for the honour – a candid and entertaining and a tad too “Oprah-y” piece about what turns her on and how she defines sexy. Full Story