The Unfunny Host

April 9, 2008 08:58:00 Posted at April 9, 2008 08:58:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mike Myers will host the MTV Movie Awards as part of the promotional lead-up to the release of The Love Guru. No doubt, his spoof clips will be hilarious. For the viewer that is. The real question though – will they be hilarious for the people working on them? Or will they have to overcome the monumental difficulty of producing the features without actually looking at or talking to their star? What??? But Mike is Canadian! Canadians are NEVER douchebags… right? Please. Full Story

Becoming Blythe

April 9, 2008 08:55:50 Posted at April 9, 2008 08:55:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gwyneth attended a breast cancer event last night representing Estee Lauder which is why Liz Hurley and her bulbous nose were there too. As you can see, Gwyneth is becoming her mother, Blythe Danner, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing…except that Blythe is in her 60s. Sigh. My girl is losing her mojo. Full Story

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April 9, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

April 9, 2008 08:41:07 Posted at April 9, 2008 08:41:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy Birthday Brandi! Have a great time today – I know there’ll be a celebration at Koerner’s today and Brenda is sending you lots of love. Sorry it can’t be a blow out because of exams but then again, you have all summer (and a brilliant legal career ahead) for that! Big hug and enjoy the rest of your week! Full Story

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Dear Gossips,

After denying it in December, and after squeezing more money out of E!, Pamela Anderson is indeed getting her own reality tv show. Word is Pam is hard up for cash, you see. She might be wealthy compared to us, but she’s practically a pauper compared to the people she rolls with. Which is why she’s always living off others, paid to do the bidding of a billionaire at his party, paid to walk a red carpet for a new Vegas club… this is what happens to those whose only talents are purchased and attached to their chests.

And worst still – Pam is getting OLD. All those nights of being ganged are starting to take hold on her face. Because Pam has looked rough for a while now, which is why she needs to work while her she can still trade on the MEMORY of sexy, as opposed to the reality these days that she is actually terribly UNsexy.

As for what we’ll see exactly on this show – probably NOT her nights of hard living. Too bad. Every smutlover should be treated with the sight of a hung over Pam coming down from a night of debauchery. It’s the most amazing thing ever.

Tuesday – am home, am online all day. Calgary gossip night photos on the way and swag giveaways and riddles too. Remember to refresh!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Kate Beckinsale is not cranky. Also not Katherine Heigl. And not Jennifer Aniston either.

Jess + Ken = Tranny

April 8, 2008 16:12:00 Posted at April 8, 2008 16:12:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thank you Ken Paves! It’s been a long time since Jessica Simpson’s tranny was let loose – how lovely of Ken to amuse us by bringing it out. Can you think of one client who actually looks good after leaving his chair??? How does he stay in business??? Here are Jessica and Ken at a photo shoot for their cheap ass weave, manufactured of course for the same folks to who rock long fake nails and still wear their nude liner 2 shades darker than the lipstick. Full Story

Matt & Nat: the exclusive eTalk Giveaway!!!

April 8, 2008 13:18:00 Posted at April 8, 2008 13:18:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As always, my swag is your swag. After all, I wouldn’t be getting the swag if you weren’t reading my smut. There’s more coming from Juno Weekend but this is the first. And you can’t get it anywhere else. The eTalk Lounge brought to you by Euphoria Calvin Klein (what’s up Marie?!?!) was hopping on Sunday night during the Junos. Full Story

Buble at the Junos

April 8, 2008 12:32:00 Posted at April 8, 2008 12:32:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Still not enough to make me quiver but at least now I “get” it. Why some of you have him listed at #1 on your Freebie Five. I can understand, I can understand in my head, but not in my loins. Because even though his proclivities are certainly suspect, absolutely “the Bube” had a certain charm. Full Story

Predictable Premise, Predictable Prank

April 8, 2008 12:04:00 Posted at April 8, 2008 12:04:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Bride Wars – yet another in a long line of chick flicks that have characterised Kate Hudson’s career. Attached are new photos from the set. Note Kate’s hair disaster, presumably the result of feuding with her best friend played by Anne Hathaway who has also decided to get married at the same time. Full Story

The Second Coming Goes to Washington

April 8, 2008 10:17:41 Posted at April 8, 2008 10:17:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Angelina Jolie is in Washington – Brangelunatics freaking out because she took the kids to the Air & Space Museum. Also attended an event with her BFF Mariane Pearl and showed off the Second Coming. Beautiful colour on her, non? How long before Star Magazine and/or Life & Style or In Touch Weekly start making up stories that Angie and Mariane are lesbian lovers? Give it 6 months. Full Story

21 Jump 21 Years

April 8, 2008 10:04:00 Posted at April 8, 2008 10:04:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Can you believe it’s been 21 years? Since 21 Jump Street? Johnny has aged well. Obviously he’s older but it’s far from a Keanu Reeves situation, you know? With all that weird bloating around his face? Not like that at all. Johnny’s all clean faced for his new film – pictured here signing autographs for fans. Full Story