Monday, September 15, 2008

Dear Gossips,

I would have babies for Tina Fey. Only Tina Fey. If Tina Fey asked, I would warm up the unwarmable, my baby-hating inhospitable womb, and sacrifice my freedom. In a second I would.

Because Tina Fey is …everything.

Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live as Sarah Palin, did you see? That f&cking accent made my life. And then when she started Palin-posing in the middle of Hillary’s diatribe, forget Shiloh… there is a new god. Her name is Tina Fey.

Tina and Amy Poehler together. We need more, non?

Michael Phelps on the other hand… hosting SNL = Olympic-sized Fail. Michael Phelps is not Peyton Manning.

And in Toronto, there was nothing else on Friday night but Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson at Ultra Supper Club. The two headlined the biggest party in the history of Ultra which had already boasted some marquee events throughout the festival, none of them generating more hype and more intrigue and more fan frenzy than Lilo herself. More on that later.

Monday – am home, am blogging all day, regular blogging schedule, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Nicole Richie is not under anger management.

PPS. Jennifer Aniston is not blowing second chances. Neither is Daryl Hannah.

PPPS. Here in Canada it is also an election year. But did you know that less than 25 per cent of young adults under 25 are turning out to vote at any given time? The cool kids under 25 would rather watch The Hills? D250: Make Your Mark is trying to reverse this trend, promoting youth involvement in community initiatives and encouraging youth engagement in the social and political arena.

On Saturday September 27th, Hedley will headline the D250 Rockin’ in the Free World concert in Halifax. Click here for more information. Jacob Hoggard is a sexy beast.

Never stand in front

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 15:22:46 September 15, 2008 15:22:46

Or risk instant divorce. Must have been part of the prenup. Nick Cannon accompanied his wife to the screening of her movie Tennessee on Friday night and spent the entire evening making sure never to stand in front of her. Hovering always just behind her, holding her hand or her waist, presenting her as his queen, Nick adheres to his marital obligations with a smile… And why not? Making Mimi happy is a privilege. Full Story

Brenda vs Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 13:51:40 September 15, 2008 13:51:40

It’s easy to forget this feud, especially since Ebola Hilton has feuded with everyone but back in the day, she and Shannen Doherty scrapped it out over – ew! – Rick Salomon. Do you remember? Shannen was married to Rick just before the sex tape with Ebola broke out. No one knows exactly the timeline when that sh*t went down but suffice to say, they overlapped in Rick’s bed and given Shannen’s mean streak and Ebola’s wickedness, the smut spilled over onto a red carpet, resulting in a supposed throw down at a party after Ebola allegedly kept crank calling Shannen, telling her that Rick didn’t want her anymore, and boasting that she’d bagged her man. Full Story

Josh & Diane in love in NYC

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 11:07:23 September 15, 2008 11:07:23

A few of you are still mad at Joshua Jackson for missing TIFF because he lost his passport positing that it was a sucky thing for him to do, to be so irresponsible, to let down his director, his costars, in failing to hype the film and disappointing fans in the process. Absolutely it was a bonehead mistake. Full Story

JailBait’s older man

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 10:35:26 September 15, 2008 10:35:26

Miley and her mouth were spotted yesterday leaving church with the boy presumed to be her new man Justin Gaston. Of course he’s wearing a cross around his neck. And a beater tank. To church! My old school Polish in laws would have something to say about that. These are people who think plastic cutlery is low classy and always dress for dinner, even when it’s an impromptu gathering. Full Story

Vagina Virgins?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 09:23:00 September 15, 2008 09:23:00

The Jonas Brothers at the Disney’s City of Hope Benefit Concert at Universal Studios yesterday proudly showing off their much talked about purity rings. Duana and I on Skype just 5 minutes ago… Me: Those Jonas Brothers purity rings – will they stay virgins? Du: What kind of virgins? Like vagina virgins? Um…yeah… because they’re gay?!?! Then there’s Michelle. Full Story

The New Brenda is a Brenda?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 08:35:00 September 15, 2008 08:35:00

Or is this is a publicity stunt? Curious item in Page Six today - apparently Shenae Grimes, being groomed to take over as the new Shannen Doherty, is quickly following in her mentor’s footsteps. Full Story

Some people wore jeans…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 08:08:09 September 15, 2008 08:08:09

Saturday in Santa Monica, in a hangar at the local airport, check out Kate Beckinsale on the carpet at the Pink Party to benefit Cedars-Sinai Women’s Cancer Research. You would have thought it was a gala, right? One look at her husband will tell you – it was certainly not a gala. Not even close. Full Story

The Posh Nose: Old or new?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 07:14:03 September 15, 2008 07:14:03

As I mentioned often over the last few months, Victoria Beckham kept a surprisingly low profile this summer, often unseen for weeks at a time. Some gossips are now suggesting that the reason behind her uncharacteristic absence from the spotlight had nothing to do with family obligations and working on her own line, but everything to do with recovery from rhinoplasty. Full Story

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Chicken Fried Circus coming soon!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 06:53:35 September 15, 2008 06:53:35

The comeback will be complete on December 2nd, her 27th birthday: Britney Spears will release her new album, called Circus, rounding out what began as a tumultuous year in uplifting fashion. The first single off Circus, Womaniser, drops as early as September 22nd – next Tuesday. Full Story