March 12, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

March 12, 2008 08:56:25 Posted at March 12, 2008 08:56:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Happy 30th Birthday to Jess in Halifax from your Entourage! Congratulations to Sophie Rose’s mom who must be celebrating today she’s finally back at home. All the best…and get some rest! Finally to Margaret – this slump will pass. Promise.  Full Story

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

25 years of Madonna! Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on her first try… naturally on her first try. But 25 years!?!? Who today will still be relevant in 25 years?!?! Truth is there is no heir. Not yet anyway.

Am kicking of the day with a burning case of Pipsqueak quiver. Of course it took Madonna to make him the hotness… more on that later.

Tuesday, live blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Avril Lavigne is a complaining, demanding bitch. But not the subject of this riddle.

How Long Before…

March 11, 2008 13:02:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 13:02:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lilo and Ali scrap over a dude? Like ripping each other’s hair out on TMZ? Let’s see.. Ali is 14. Give it a couple of years. By the time she’s 16, bet your fake tits she’ll be caught in flagrante with Lindsay’s boyfriend… Milo Ventimiglia? Don’t tell me it couldn’t happen. Full Story

4 Minutes

March 11, 2008 11:40:08 Posted at March 11, 2008 11:40:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Supposedly the cover for their new single 4 Minutes to Save the World. Many of you have emailed with disappointment, saying it looks cheap. Really? Me likey. Me kinda likey that it’s a little ghetto. Like “glam” and even the use of the word is so 2002, you know what I mean? Think for instance: would Carrie Underwood let her roots go on an album cover? Hell no. Full Story

Chav on Wheels

March 11, 2008 11:20:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 11:20:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Better this I say than the punk ass hypocrites like Avril Lavigne and Ebola and even Ashton who claim they don’t want the attention and need it the next minute when they have something to sell. Posh will never say she doesn’t want the attention. Which is she drives around in a f&cking white Porsche emblazoned with her initials. Full Story

The Other Affleck Brother

March 11, 2008 10:53:25 Posted at March 11, 2008 10:53:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s on my cousin’s Freebie Five temporarily. She can’t stand Ben’s dirty fingernails but there’s something about Casey. Casey showed up at the Stuart House Benefit the other day looking disheveled and “serious actor-ish”. Beginning to wonder if anyone in the Phoenix family has a sense of humour. Full Story

Sister Freeze

March 11, 2008 10:44:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 10:44:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman has a frozen sister! Check Meg Ryan last night with Tom Hanks at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event. Like Nicole, Meg’s once beguiling features have now grotesquely morphed into wax and ice. Meg’s advantage however is that she has good hair. Always has had good hair. Full Story

Flu Job

March 11, 2008 10:38:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 10:38:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Us Weekly is reporting that Janet Jackson was hospitalised last night because of shortness of breath. Her rep subsequently clarified that it was the flu. The flu? Do you believe the flu? With all that money and resources, she can’t afford home care? Or is it because you can’t give someone a nose job/tummy tuck/boob lift/etc etc etc at home? Not that Janet would ever, right? Not that there are any fake parts on her body, right? In some circles, there are those who believe she actually had a rod inserted into her abs to make them look the way they do. Full Story

Angie Genetics

March 11, 2008 09:18:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 09:18:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Bad day to be having a fat’n’ugly day – look at all these beautiful bitches! Angie Harmon at the Stuart House Benefit yesterday with virtually no makeup and still… kicking Lindsay Lohan’s orange, blotch-skinned ass. And she’s 17 years older. Love Angie Harmon. Still undecided about Women’s Murder Club. Full Story

You Are Not Them

March 11, 2008 09:03:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 09:03:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a giant f&ck you to us mortals – a family that looks like this. A family this ridiculously attractive. Ri-di-cu-LOUS. Totally not fair. And as always, the glaring exception to my Celebrity Baby Theory. Have a look and then wallow in your own ordinariness: Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber (George Clooney’s BFF) and their two children Presley and Kaya. Full Story

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Mr and Mrs Burns

March 11, 2008 08:36:00 Posted at March 11, 2008 08:36:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Christy Turlington and Ed Burns last night at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame… breathtaking Christy. Wow. Would be a good couple to test my Celebrity Baby Theory on. For those new to the site, the Celebrity Baby Theory works as follows: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace I’m not going to name the specific children. Full Story