Porny Country Fail

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 13:25:41 February 24, 2009 13:25:41

Oh Porny. Am told by sources exclusively that Jessica Simpson fired her band last week after suspending the tour. She’s taking a year off. Which essentially means the label doesn’t want her, that country music doesn’t want her, that she needs to find something else to do. And if it’s up to her father that could mean making money representing weight loss companies. Full Story

Is that your ring?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 12:56:00 February 24, 2009 12:56:00

Rachel Bilson shopping for groceries yesterday and while she kept her ring hidden all week in New York, she seemed to be flashing a very big diamond on her left hand back in LA. It was reported last week that Hayden Christensen had proposed, reps for both declined to comment, but it’s all adding up: the farmhouse + the domestication + the parents + the ring… Will it be a long engagement? Lately long engagements have not lasted… Anyway, the latest rumour is that the dress will be Zac Posen. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 12:31:51 February 24, 2009 12:31:51

How could this happen to Ice Man??? (Dlisted)

Shocking. She covered her legs. (Hollywood Tuna)

Freida Pinto > Scarjo? (Just Jared)

Bana and Bloom: boys on bikes! (Pop Sugar)

John Legend’s girlfriend looks like a doll (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

See Rob Pattinson posing. Hear them screaming (INO)

LipGloss getting married??? (Cele|bitchy)

Sean Penn disrespects Jesus! (Holy Moly)

Anne Squirrel goes goth (Popoholic)

Lilo’s nose has definitely changed (The Blemish)

Penelope Cruz friends with crackhead?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 10:08:19 February 24, 2009 10:08:19

Please. More Lohan delusions. That family, they are so gifted at convincing themselves of the most ridiculous lies, at talking themselves into their versions of the truth. Have you met people who do this? It fascinates me. Lindsay Lohan’s latest imaginary reality? That she’s friends with Penelope Cruz. Full Story

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Female Chivalry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 09:15:41 February 24, 2009 09:15:41

Amanda Seyfried has been shooting a new movie in Toronto. She was in LA for the weekend for the Oscars, then had to return immediately Monday back to work. Dominic Cooper went with her. This is Amanda arriving at LAX yesterday. Dominic met her later. An interesting story about their flight. From an infallible source. Full Story

Kristen Stewart > Robert Pattinson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 08:38:13 February 24, 2009 08:38:13

You know I love this bitch…even when she’s an inarticulate stoner on Letterman. Kristen Stewart is totally up her own ass. At 18, she’s an “artist”. And fluff is not her thing. So she says. So she acts. Pretentious?  For sure! Youthful sanctimony? Absolutely! But on the plus side, at least she’s not hanging out with Ebola Hilton. Full Story

Oscar Worst Dressed: Reese Witherspoon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 07:21:17 February 24, 2009 07:21:17

Topping the Worst Dressed is almost an art. It’s too easy to name Jessica Biel the worst dressed. You expect it. What’s the challenge? But Reese Witherspoon… You don’t expect it from Reese Witherspoon. You don’t go into the Oscars thinking Reese Witherspoon will suck it the hardest with all she has to choose from. Full Story

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Oscar Best Dressed: Marion Cotillard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 07:06:00 February 24, 2009 07:06:00

Two for two. It was hers last year when she was named the Queen. It’s also hers this year as she took an appropriate step back but still killed it anyway. Like SJP, Marion chose Christian Dior. Unlike SJP, she totally made it work. It’s not a dress for everyone. The tiers, the tulle, the belt…Sarah Jessica Parker was completely overwhelmed, like an eager beaver who wants it too badly. Full Story

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Oscar Granny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2009 06:46:59 February 24, 2009 06:46:59

Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman was freshly frozen for the Oscars and presented alongside The Women to Kate Winslet. I do love how they held hands and welcomed her to the community. And though I rag on her often, Gran is one of the few who can almost always pull off feathers. Her dress was magnificent. Especially from the back. Full Story

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Monday, February 23, 2009

Dear Gossips,

So many things made me happy last night. Most of the things that made me happy will send me directly to hell. But then again, there’s probably a torture chamber reserved for me there already anyway. So it won’t make a difference then if I tell you that I fist pumped with evil glee when Shelf Ass Biel showed up on the pool feed wearing that… dinner napkin. Like I almost missed a live cue because I was too busy celebrating.

Did you enjoy the Oscars?

The Oscar wrap up to follow…

But first – a few housekeeping items. Articles were posted on Saturday re: the Spirit Awards and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s birthday f-ckery. Please, please treat yourself to it on a difficult Monday morning. I promise it’s worth it. So scroll down, click VIEW MORE ARTICLES and keep scrolling and keep clicking because today’s column will be long. And remember, they’re posted in reverse chronological order so older posts will appear lower.

There’s the carpet to cover, and then the parties, and then the non-Oscar gossip too. For smutlovers, this is considered high season.

Also I head back to Vancouver today too. So blogging while packing and finishing up voice overs for eTalk. In other words, more typos than usual. Am writing through the night. Forgive!

Yours in gossip,


PS. TK and I before and after on the balcony. Thanks to Elsa Corsi, a local Vancouver jewellery designer for the gorgeous earrings and cuff! And for those of you who’ve been asking – since I was on Twitter the whole time too, this explains may arm behind my back throughout most of the show. Blackberry!

PPS. SLUMDOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!