Monday, August 18, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Olympic Freebie Five has been updated with Dara Torres at the top. Dara Torres makes my life. It’s a life that’s become a sad, sad sickness. Because I have a serious, serious Michael Phelps problem. Time to go cold turkey.

Back to ageless women, the Madge turned 50 on Saturday and celebrated with her family at an allnighter, then hit the gym the next morning for 3 hours. Crazy bitch. Photos on the way. But not before a heart to heart with John Mayer.

Monday – am online all day but router decided to f&ck off and die this morning which accounts for the late start. Feels like I’m on a dial up today.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. How do you stop running with, like, 20m left and STILL break the world record? And a ladies sweep too. What’s up Jamaica?

Le Karl… Crunk!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 14:12:00 August 18, 2008 14:12:00

This is the best thing. Ever. The best. Like, life changing. In the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar, the magazine asked some of the biggest names in fashion to “fantasy” pose. What’s Karl Lagerfeld’s fantasy? Karl wants to be Lil Wayne! Check out Le Karl, all crunked up, working his magic but still no bitch-beating fan. Full Story

Maverick flies solo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 12:22:59 August 18, 2008 12:22:59

For the GMD, if marriage was a strategic move, and you know my thoughts on that, then in hindsight I’m sure we can all agree – a tactical error. Because Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make each other assy. She looks assy when she’s with him, he looks assy when he’s with her. Alone though, when he’s on his own, and not holding her in a death grip with his short arms wrapped around her waist, when he’s flying solo with no Goose of a wife, the GMD is much more appealing. Full Story

Chicken Fried Hope… or Hoax?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 11:03:02 August 18, 2008 11:03:02

Britney – the summer is almost over…and Britney is still well. Amazing. An end of summer tradition – always the VMAs. And for many years, Britney has been a part of it. She is already appearing in the promos with host Russell Brand and the rumours have been swirling – that she will redeem herself on September 7th. Full Story

Alba ALMA Latina

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 09:28:26 August 18, 2008 09:28:26

What Jessica Alba has said in the past: Alba is my last name and I'm proud of that. But that's it. My grandparents were born in California, the same as my parents, and though I may be proud of my last name, I'm American. Full Story

GMD Family Friendly Dinner

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 08:40:00 August 18, 2008 08:40:00

Remember, I’m the childless shrew. The bitch whose womb has been frozen by Nicole Kidman’s plastic surgeon. In other words, I concede, I’m not the authority on family dinners and meals with the kids. But please… before you yummy mummies get all sanctimonious on my Chinese ass, think about dinner at Nobu. Full Story

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Best.Suit.Ever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 08:05:09 August 18, 2008 08:05:09

Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi were married on Saturday. Intimate ceremony, 19 guests, no big names, and despite buzz last week about a major performer… Pippy Timberlake was not invited. Both wore Zac Posen – Portia in some kind of lame ass tutu and Ellen in a suit. An amazing suit, the most amazing trousers. Full Story

JLo Triathlete vs 8 Gold Medals

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2008 07:56:00 August 18, 2008 07:56:00

Jennifer Lopez is training for a triathlon. Hoping to inspire others, she appeared this morning on Good Morning America with her trainer to discuss how she’s preparing for the event. Over at NBC, The Today Show’s Matt Lauer sat down for an exclusive interview with the man of the moment, my boyfriend, Michael Phelps. Full Story

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