Love Lessons from a 14 year old

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 10:55:16 July 9, 2008 10:55:16

“These arms…they ache. And this soul…is in pain”. Lyrics from Ali Lohan’s new song All The Way Around in which she addresses learning from her love mistakes. What??? She’s 14!!! Although I suppose it’s not easy to remember that, given that Dina has whored her up and classed her down, the way she does all her daughters, so that what was supposed to be an adolescent time of discovery has now become an adolescent time of pimpage. Full Story

Groupie Sex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 08:37:47 July 9, 2008 08:37:47

John Mayer played in front of a small crowd yesterday in New York and was asked a question from the audience about whether or not he’d ever had sex with a groupie to which he replied: "Do you respect my honesty? Yes, I have.” And of course, for those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while, you also know that after a while, after all the nameless, faceless fans he took to bed following a performance, John decided to spice up the experiences by adding in the golden shower. Full Story

Old Teenager had a baby

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 07:55:40 July 9, 2008 07:55:40

All you yummy mummies will be mad at me for saying but seriously…this has more to do with chicken fried style than the fact that she gave birth not too long ago. Jamie Lynn looks like sh*t. And there is NO excuse for having hair the colour of Estelle Getty’s wig from the Golden Girls. Check it out – Jamie Lynn Spears on the cover of OK! with baby Maddie, still part of that $1 million deal hammered out by mama Lynne way back in December when the magazine paid her to break the exclusive about her pregnancy. Full Story

No Squirrels in Madrid

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 07:40:53 July 9, 2008 07:40:53

Must be the Spanish air. Or that Rafa has returned home. And perhaps Iker is lurking around somewhere, blessing Anne Hathaway who looks much better in Madrid promoting Get Smart than she did in Rome with her squirrel face makeup. Another amazing gown…think I like this one more than the white from yesterday. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Gwyneth nauseous, Hurley recycled

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 07:23:34 July 9, 2008 07:23:34

Estee Lauder launched a new fragrance yesterday and trotted out four spokesmodels for the occasion. My Gwyneth obliged, showing up in a gorgeous white little cocktail, looking youthful and fresh and lovely…but also a little nauseous, like she was holding back her lunch. She did however make it out to the Waverly after the event so perhaps what I’m interpreting as nausea is really just disgust for having to whore it out as the employee of a cosmetics company. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Madge Makes Chicken Fried Smile

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 07:03:55 July 9, 2008 07:03:55

Britney was supposed to shoot a video montage for Madonna’s Sticky & Sweet tour yesterday but due to set delays the shoot will take place today instead. Just as well…the technical glitch gave her a chance to get her hair fixed. And it almost looks real. Here’s Britney all smiles and in great spirits leaving the salon yesterday, clearly chuffed about having Madge on her side. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

July 9, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 06:41:38 July 9, 2008 06:41:38

Happy 25th Birthday Hilary B in Calgary! Heard you received a pair of designer jeans? What are they??? To Michelle C – congratulations on defending your doctoral dissertation! And good luck with the eBay dissertation fundraiser to pay off those loans!  Full Story

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Two for two so far as Matthew McConaughey and his Camila welcomed a baby boy yesterday but will the Holy Jolie Twins come along and blow every other birth out of the water and off the front pages? If so, Granny Freeze’s Sunday would become but a footnote to the world worship of the first twins born, like, ever in the history of mankind.

Love, love, love.

Tuesday – new posts throughout the day … refresh, refresh, refresh!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Emilio Estevez does not have another woman.

Singles and Doubles Tennis Hotness

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2008 14:27:45 July 8, 2008 14:27:45

My cousin Cat spent part of the day yesterday texting me about Rafa Nadal. She’s a hardcore tennis fan and has been a hardcore Rafa quiverer forever. Needless to say, Cat was bursting with pride for her boyfriend…along with all of Spain. Rafa returned home today to a hero’s welcome. Full Story

View All 14 Photos

Please Posh…come back

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2008 12:28:50 July 8, 2008 12:28:50

The world has been lamentably Posh-less of late. For some reason, Victoria Beckham has been laying low, perhaps suggesting that she’s a little more realistically self aware than we give her credit for. But Victoria arrived in London today with Romeo and Cruz looking the best she has in a long time, if not a little…crisp. Full Story

Squint and Quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2008 12:02:41 July 8, 2008 12:02:41

James McAvoy on the cover of Details. Your afternoon delight.  Full Story