Pregnancy Grows the Alba Bitch

January 10, 2008 07:03:37 Posted at January 10, 2008 07:03:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What happens to a Demon Bitch when the hormones are raging? In Alba’s case, the bitch get bigger! Jessica Alba’s Elle Magazine interview – she called out Zac Efron the other day for being effeminate and it turns the out the new fairy It Boy of Hollywood wasn’t the only recipient of her wrath. Full Story

Do you see Little Sci?

January 10, 2008 06:37:33 Posted at January 10, 2008 06:37:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I love this sh*t. You are looking at William Mapother, actor and cousin of Tom Cruise. You may recognise him from Lost. He played Ethan. Ordinarily he’d be no one. And he might still be no one. Except that many of you seem convinced because of similarity that he is the true father of Little Sci. Full Story

Presenting Katie 2008!

January 10, 2008 06:24:32 Posted at January 10, 2008 06:24:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The very first occasion of the year – and Presenting Katie could not have come at a better time! As you know, the Morton GMD bio is due out next week and while reviews of the book have not been enthusiastic, still the chilling suggestions are beginning to slither into the MiniVan Majority consciousness…though this vision of Katie last night at the Mad Money premiere is sure to make the yummy mummy stroller patrol forget all about the creepy allegations. Full Story

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Chicken Fried Trip Fling!

January 10, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at January 10, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Turns out Britney and Adnan are NOT over. Not even close. On the contrary, reports she boarded a private plane with him late yesterday afternoon headed for New York Mexico. At press time the two have yet to resurface but as you know, Chicken Fried likes to sleep in well past noon. Full Story

Trash is Fertile

January 10, 2008 06:05:43 Posted at January 10, 2008 06:05:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Some people like Granny Freeze and Halle too, they try forever to get pregnant. Want desperately to get pregnant. And should get pregnant. But oftentimes can’t. And then there’s white trash. White Trash is prolific. White Trash progeny is everywhere. White Trash Pam and Britney and the rest – like the cockroaches of Hollywood, dragging their eggs around, dropping them randomly. Full Story

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Today is Snape’s birthday. Snape! Sob! I’ve read Book 7 three times and Snape always gets me in the gut and of course the heart. Snape and Dobby. Dobby!

So did you make it through the People’s Choice Awards last night? The awards show with pre-taped acceptance speeches? Snort. Still…there was a surprise. The biggest surprise is that somehow the “People” couldn’t find a way to give Jennifer Aniston something. Because she wasn’t in anything last year. Instead, it was Katherine Heigl, the new Princess of the MiniVan Majority who won the Best TV Actress popularity contest for playing the insufferable Izzie Stevens on Grey’s Anatomy.

Apparently the “People” don’t watch Weeds. Or 30 Rock. Or The Closer. Or The Sopranos.

Sorry ‘bout the late start today. Am a bit under the weather and very crusty. But it’s Wednesday and I’ll be online all day – refresh, refresh, refresh!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Happy Belated Birthday Heather C! Get OFF Facebook and start brushing up on your smut! With much love and affection – and I hope it’s not another year til I see you again.

PPS. To Elaine S in Montreal… keep fighting and I’ll keep gossiping if it helps. Big hug.

PPPS. To Dawn in Turkey from Gabrielle in Toronto – friends far apart united in gossip. Love it!

Andrew Morton Cruise bio: the EW Review

January 9, 2008 14:43:24 Posted at January 9, 2008 14:43:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Entertainment Weekly has the best writers ever – week after week, the magazine is stimulating and readable, every page from front to back, and doesn’t make you feel dirty when it’s over. EW is the best. So EW has just reviewed the Morton GMD bio. The review itself is as entertaining as the information within it. Full Story

The Chosen One at Chuck E Cheese

January 9, 2008 14:25:45 Posted at January 9, 2008 14:25:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

During their brief visit to Springfield, Missouri last week the Pitts also hit up Chuck E Cheese with all four Pitt kids and a gaggle of nieces and nephews. An enterprising civilian was savvy enough to pull out the camera phone – here are a few photos from Us Weekly. As you can see, Angelina is holding the Chosen One who is sucking her thumb. Full Story

Pissing Douche on the Loose

January 9, 2008 13:54:12 Posted at January 9, 2008 13:54:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer is single again! According to People, after dating FNL’s Minka Kelly for a few months, the two have now broken up. Looks like Minka came to her senses. How do you go from Taylor Kitsch dripping sweat all over you to John Mayer pulling out his pee and showering you with his piss? Actually…John Mayer seems like that guy who dumps you and then calls you again when he finds out you’re dating someone else. Full Story

27 Dresses and PALM Exclusive Giveaway!!!

January 9, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at January 9, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Heads up to readers in Edmonton and Toronto but keep reading even if you don’t live there – you won’t be sorry! Advance passes are available for 27 Dresses starring that totally not annoying at all – Katherine Heigl. The film opens on January 18th but I have passes to give away for the advance screening on Thursday January 10th. Full Story

Giving the Gift of Xenu

January 9, 2008 11:27:09 Posted at January 9, 2008 11:27:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Of all the stars that Xenu has taken from us, none is more heartbreaking than Will Smith. Who doesn’t love Will Smith? We all love Will Smith. Which is why Xenu and the GMD covet him so. As you know, Will’s friendship with the GMD, allegedly (according to Andrew Morton) Xenu’s #2, continues to blossom. Full Story