May 22, 2008 - Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 22, 2008 06:10:28 May 22, 2008 06:10:28

From Cannes to Cailin who is getting married - congratulations and all the very best! To Ashley in Lower Alabama - sugah your accent sounds sublime. I"d love to hear it! To Grace from Liz who misses you on mat leave - thrilled for you about Isaac! Congratulations Briar on the promotion! And it was Fisher Price not Power Wheels! Love Morgan Happy 33rd Darcy L from your best bitches Karen and Kelly. Full Story

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Madonna’s new doc, I Am Because We Are, is screening here in Cannes but not officially party of the festival and 700 journalists are trying to get in to the press conference just before. She’s also doing a carpet right before the presentation. We have a spot on that line today and, if I can avoid getting crushed or refracturing my arm, there is a slim chance I might get to talk to Madge. If Shiloh does shine on me once again, I’m going to ask Her Madgesty where to find her kick ass sling. It would make a 4 eyed gimp look slightly less dorky.

Busy day ahead – it never slows down here. Interviews for Atom Egoyan’s Adoration are today including Scott Speedman. Then it’s straight to the Madonna madness, then a kick ass private party at some chateau. All details tomorrow. For now, me and my bum elbow humbly offer you the following… I promise – when I get home, there will be more every day.

Thanks so much again for your understanding, your patience, all your kind messages, the virtual bouquets, and even the hate mail. I love it all.

Yours in gossip,


Madge and Gay Reeshay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 10:32:45 May 21, 2008 10:32:45

They just arrived. Guy is with her. He"s f*cking hot. But if we"re going to play body language assumption, it just doesn"t feel right. Posing together is almost perfunctory. Or maybe that"s because I"ve just spent a week quivering over Pitt Porn. She does look happy though. And the top of her dress is gorgeous. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 09:04:00 May 21, 2008 09:04:00

Am waiting for Madonna"s red carpet right now.  She"s expected to monter les marches!

In the meantime, Denise Richards is a lying hag and get tingled by my smutty partners.


Get pissed on for $10 (Dlisted)

How Jess is keeping Tony (Hollywood Tuna)

My Rumey pretty in the "Peg! (INO)

Jude downgrades to a green thumb (Holy Moly UK)

Sienna can see again (Cele|bitchy)

Ugly becomes art (Gallery of the Absurd)

How Kate Learned to Play

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 07:04:00 May 21, 2008 07:04:00

The buzz on the Croisette this morning is that Goldie Hawn was spotted at the VIP Room last night openly making out with some dude who was NOT Kurt Russell. Totally not caring who saw her. There"s been word for a while that she also spends quite a bit of time in London getting romantic with a gentleman companion. Full Story

Ebola Desperate to Spread

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 06:18:30 May 21, 2008 06:18:30

Seal your windows and protect your children… this is Ebola Paris Hilton leaving a medical centre yesterday. Rumour has it, she`s been desperate to conceive and is rather frustrated that it hasn`t happened yet. Yes. That f*cking disease is trying to procreate. The world is about to end. On a lighter note, Ebola is still at it with her fragrance enterprise and will be launching a new cologne later this year. Full Story

Guy Comes to Cannes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 06:06:16 May 21, 2008 06:06:16

Guy Ritchie is with Madonna in Cannes – are you surprised? Everyone else is. Here they are, out for dinner last night at Felix. Looks like Madge needs a touch up on her roots. But I do love her hair. Just me or does she seem way happier when he`s not around? Total gossipmongering of course…and still, the smutty tingles always get excited about this little arrangement. Full Story

Player Meets Player

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 06:02:46 May 21, 2008 06:02:46

Love it. LOVE it. As you know, news broke late last week that Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are dealing with each other. Dealing and duelling… it`s the perfect hook up. Kate is a manslinger who has enjoyed a carefree year of attachment-free romance. Perhaps in Lance she`s met her match. Or vice versa. Full Story

Mrs Alba Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 05:57:56 May 21, 2008 05:57:56

When Laura and I heard last night that the Alba Bitch had quietly married Cash Warren in advance of the birth of their baby, our first reaction was: She was ok with getting married not thin as a rail? All part and parcel of course of Jessica Alba`s continuing efforts to find a fan base… any fan base… that doesn’t only care to see her naked. Full Story

Pitt Porn Saturation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 05:40:00 May 21, 2008 05:40:00

My favourite comfort food: sliced beef and tomato over rice with baby bok choy. Some days in university I`d eat it every day for like 2 weeks, then take a break for a few days, but always bring it back right away. Yum. I could use some beef and tomato now. But the point is, we all need space from things we love the most. Full Story

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About Smutty Shout-Outs and for Laura & Dylan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 05:29:01 May 21, 2008 05:29:01