Monday, July 21, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Fred Segal is evil. It was the end of a decadent girls’ weekend. We were driving down La Cienaga towards the airport yesterday, 15 minutes early, and happened to be approaching Melrose.

Julie: What should we do?
Me: Freg Segal. Now. Go.


Power shopping – it’s dangerous. Am broke. But this weekend I too brought my twins home: size 8, 105mm thin covered heel, brushed patent, pink and nude striped pumps. And even though they’re not Holy Jolie Pitts, they will be loved and cared for, just as if I birthed them myself.

The Dark Knight… Right? Right?

It’s Monday – busy, busy weekend recap. Am blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. There is no crisis in JLo’s commitment.

Leo Love Bars…still

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 14:38:24 July 21, 2008 14:38:24

They’re engaged, then they aren’t seen together in public so they break up, then five minutes later it’s like they’re walking down the aisle – according to the tabloids, Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli have a rather dramatic love. Or maybe he’s just so undercover he really knows how to hide and plug the leaks? Leo rarely ventures out… but when he does, he’s always a prime target. Full Story

Hiding His Pretty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 11:55:27 July 21, 2008 11:55:27

Hayden Christensen was in LA this weekend with girlfriend Rachel Bilson – seen here running errands. Hayden hasn’t worked in a while. And since he’s also trying to break out of the box of teen pop appeal, like so many of his pretty boy peers, Hayden is hiding his pretty by working out the hirsute. Full Story

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Angie is fatter than Granny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 11:08:04 July 21, 2008 11:08:04

The clever folks at Bauer Griffin were able to capture the first shots of Angelina Jolie out of the hospital, on the grounds of the Pitt Family chateau watching her kids play. You will note that even the skinny ass Angie, always at the centre of ridiculous heroin rumours that are complete bollocks because of her veiny arms, even Angie after twins wearing black is fuller everywhere than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman wearing white. Full Story

Granny had a baby?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 08:39:24 July 21, 2008 08:39:24

When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story

Carb Face and his gray pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 08:17:00 July 21, 2008 08:17:00

There’s a saying in Chinese: One type rice feeds one hundred type people. Sort of like…to each their own. Or, as my mother so gracefully reminded me when I told her one day that I could get away with a short skirt: whores eat our rice too. If you can eat like a whore, you can dress like a whore. Full Story

Me Day for Halle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 07:50:37 July 21, 2008 07:50:37

Halle Berry is sick. Like…ridiculous. Like sooo ridiculously beautiful. Halle enjoyed a “me” day yesterday, shopping in Beverly Hills, going for ice cream with a friend, and proudly showing off pictures of baby Nahla. Am all over the floppy hat. And the bag. Interestingly enough, Halle has been frank in the past about her post-Oscar choices, explaining that her award put her in a position where she could entertain film offers that provided more financially than artistically. Full Story

The Essence of Nelson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 07:25:15 July 21, 2008 07:25:15

Marcus is my first dog. But I have a dog because of Nelson. I was Nelson’s nanny for the first few weeks after Julie brought him home. He’d come over and we’d hang out. He’d pee all over my floor. He’d sleep in his crate and snore like a volcano erupting. He’d fart like a champion bulldog… because that is what they do. Full Story

All Star Becks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 07:05:05 July 21, 2008 07:05:05

David Beckham and the LA Galaxy played the New York Red Bulls this weekend – here’s the hotness warming up before the game, quivering me with his crazy cut arms. And the side view of Becks is second to none. I like the abs/ass combination. The slight bulge from each end… amazing. Heads up Toronto – he’ll be in town this week for the MLS All Star Game. Full Story

The Thinnification of the GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 06:55:15 July 21, 2008 06:55:15

There were photos published very recently of the GMD taking his shirt off, showing off some middle aged back fat. A meltdown, mental AND physical, clearly ensued. Because Tom Cruise turned up at a racing event in Laguna Seca on Sunday showing off a much more streamlined physique. Check out those skinny jeans! As far as jeans are concerned though, his wife’s are hurting. Full Story

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