What’s helping her?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 11:28:33 February 11, 2009 11:28:33

Porny appeared on the Early Show this morning to announce the Country Music Award nominees in Nashville. As you can see, it’s her best showing in weeks. Come on now…there’s really not much to hate on here. Maybe the matron hair, maybe. But I find this less offensive than a fake weavy set of tight curls. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 11:07:11 February 11, 2009 11:07:11

Taste like the Brange (Dlisted)

Katie Price is jealous she didn’t think of this first (Hollywood Tuna)

Isn’t Bar’s boyfriend supposed to be an environmentalist? (Just Jared)

Becks stretching (Pop Sugar)

Punk Ass Poseur thinks she’s Tommy Lee (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Look at these two, feel very human (INO)

What Star Magazine gave Jennifer Aniston for her birthday (Cele|bitchy)

Brad Pitt…and Ryan from The Office! (IDLYITW)

Dev Patel…you need to RUN (A Socialite's Life)

Iker Casillas – improvement on the pants and very, very single (Kickette)

That’s him

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 09:39:00 February 11, 2009 09:39:00

Drew Barrymore was at the Laker game last night, looks like she was flirting up a storm, flanked by two men who – photo assumption! – appeared to be competing over her affection. As you can see, blonde Drew was all dolled up and ready to party. She hit up a couple of clubs afterwards, seen at both Avalon and Bardot. Full Story

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Celebrity Dumbass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 08:39:20 February 11, 2009 08:39:20

See? It could totally be a daily feature. And it could feature Hot Harry on a Horse every f-cking day. Because, as we know, he is the loose cannon, the blundering spare. Last time it was the army video. This time he’s hating on black people. According to comedian Stephen K Amos, who performed at Prince Charles’s 60th birthday celebration in November, Harry was trying to be funny when he said to him: You don’t sound like a black chap. Full Story

Quotable Kanye

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 08:13:00 February 11, 2009 08:13:00

Always quotable. You may have issues with Kanye. Sure, he has a massive ego. Sure, he needs to chill on the pap aggression. His all caps temper tantrums are embarrassing. But Kanye is ENTERTAINING. I love his music, I love his personality. And at a time when more and more, these MTV reality show bland as f-ck girls from The Hills are being forced upon us to be accepted as legitimate “celebrities”, stars like Kanye must be appreciated and enjoyed. Full Story

Would you want him next to you?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 07:44:29 February 11, 2009 07:44:29

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck departed LAX for New York yesterday. Imagine if he sat down next to you on a plane? This is my greatest fear on a flight. The people around me, the person next to me. As you know, I always end up with the kid close by. And that kid is always screaming. If that kid is behind me, it usually kicks too. Full Story

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Will it be like this?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 07:17:13 February 11, 2009 07:17:13

It was reported yesterday, by People of course, that John Mayer will be gifting Jennifer Aniston, in honour of her 40th birthday TODAY, with a brand new song written especially for the occasion. The question posed in the original article was Rossum or Romantic Full Story

GOOPy and the girls

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 07:09:35 February 11, 2009 07:09:35

Gwyneth Paltrow last night in at the 14th Annual Saks Fifth Avenue Unforgettable Evening event for cancer research – G is wearing the dreaded shiny fabric. Lumpy Gwynnie? Of course not. Not with a brilliantly cut Balmain jacket. They say it’s all about shoulders this year… And always, always shoes. Full Story

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February 11, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2009 06:25:55 February 11, 2009 06:25:55

Happy Birthday Rachael B. in Bermuda!! Looking forward to dinner tomorrow night....watch out - the mommies are on the loose!! Love, Julie xx To Liisa H. for putting on Marie-Josée's baby shower! It was a great time! Thank you Liisa! Hugs, Rej"  Full Story

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Dear Gossips,

The Westminster Dog Show will be crowning a new winner this week. You know how at beauty pageants, the outgoing Miss will take a final waving stroll, as her comments are broadcast on overhead speaker (!), before the new queen is announced? Imagine Uno making his last lap – it’s been a busy 12 months.

But for an entire year, I have endured the sounds of my husband huffing and puffing over the injustice. Because we have a beagle too. And my husband, he is That Guy. My beagle is the best. My beagle is the most beautiful. As he loudly (and crudely) announced yesterday – MY beagle could be licking his asshole and he’d still be cuter than Uno. Then he decided to put it to a photo challenge.

This is why parents end up in fistfights at hockey games.

Thank you for your Grammy and BAFTA emails yesterday! It was a LOOOOOONG column – 48 articles in total and 10,000 words. Scroll down and get caught up if you haven’t!

Tuesday – am blogging all day, but there won’t be Rihanna/Chris Brown updates every 15 minutes on her injuries. TMZ.com is good for that. Let’s focus on some fun smut, shall we? In times like these we turn to Porny Simpson. She has healing powers.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Where’s Winona?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2009 17:24:12 February 10, 2009 17:24:12

At the Berlin Film Festival today – the premiere of The Private Lives of Pippa Lee starring Robin Wright as Pippa, Blake Lively as young Pippa, Keanu Reeves as Chris, and Winona Ryder perfectly cast as Sandra … But where is Winona? Has Winona been seen ever since that weird jewellery debacle Full Story