Worst Jailbait: Miley Cyrus

February 25, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at February 25, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

To be fair, her dress was impressively appropriate. Impressively because we all know how often this 15 year old has been dressed appropriately of late. Which of course is not at all. The propriety, unfortunately, stops there. Because the child then proceeded to cocktease the carpet and the paparazzi so hard that we were uncomfortable just watching her on the pool feed monitors, let alone in person. Full Story

Most Hungry: Renee Zellweger & Keri Russell

February 25, 2008 09:09:29 Posted at February 25, 2008 09:09:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I interviewed Keri Russell at Sundance for Waitress. She had just announced her pregnancy and she was beautiful. Lovely skin, lovely healthy glow, sweet shy demeanour … at the risk of sounding cheesy, I was totally enchanted. Then she arrived last night full of bones and not much else. We were right behind her when she was posing at the 2nd photo wall and I swear the shoulder blades could have cut glass. Full Story

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Best Red: Heidi Klum

February 25, 2008 09:30:21 Posted at February 25, 2008 09:30:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Don’t really care for her personality and not particularly down with the hype about her gorgessity but when it comes to wearing a dress and doing it justice… Heidi Klum is the sh*t. I almost missed a cue on live tv last night because of this dress. First of all, she’s tall. Like legitimately tall. Full Story

Worst Queen: Helen Mirren

February 25, 2008 08:49:42 Posted at February 25, 2008 08:49:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last year she rocked it in a Christian Lacroix. Last night she looked like she should have stayed home and needlepointed the evening away. In person, this dress was a disaster. I realise in photos and on tv, you were seeing the hot lights from the cameras and the set creating sparkle where there was very little. Full Story

Best Queen: Cate Blanchett

February 25, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at February 25, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman should be taking a pregnancy page out of fellow Aussie Cate’s expectant couture. This is Dries Van Noten and it is exquisite. You should have seen the embroidery on the skirt – it was like something out of Versailles circa Louis XIV. Ridiculous. And she is HUGE. Full Story

Worst Taupe: Cameron Diaz

February 25, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at February 25, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not even my new love for Cammie could have saved last night. Last night she was washed out and bland. Last night she was Ann Bland. Ann Bland from Arrested Development. Ann Veal. Ann Egg. Who? Her? Sigh. I miss that show. Anyway, about Cam and bland. Bland pale pink, bland strapless Marchesa – of course Marchesa because most of Marchesa is the ass but Harvey Weinstein has propped Cam for a long, long time and she’s probably now angling for a part in his next great script. Full Story

Best Taupe: Jennifer Garner

February 25, 2008 07:54:06 Posted at February 25, 2008 07:54:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Normally Taupe Jennifer Garner brought it…and how. There was an edge to her on the carpet last night – something sassy, something confident, something really sexy in the way she walked, in the way she posed, in the way she invited people to look at her. It was a new Taupe. It was almost NO Taupe! Needless to say, the dress had a lot to do with it. Full Story

Worst Oscar Knocked Up: Granny Freeze

February 25, 2008 07:03:59 Posted at February 25, 2008 07:03:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yeah so this whole doting wife, delicate flower sh*t is getting as old as her face. Look at them! Look at Gran and her man getting all emotional on us on the carpet – because posing in front of hundreds of screaming journalists and fans is exactly the place to perform a nuzzle forehead and really mean it. Full Story

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Best Oscar Knocked Up: Jessica Alba

February 25, 2008 06:40:43 Posted at February 25, 2008 06:40:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As Marchesa goes, I guess it isn’t the worst. And the colour is gorgeous. And she is gorgeous in it. Here’s the pregnant Alba Demon, glowing tonight on the carpet. LOVE the braids. Not so much tied back into that big nest by her neck but the middle part feels soothing. Like it somehow tempers that bitch inside of her that desperately needs to yell at someone at least once an hour. Full Story

Best Oscar Androgynous

February 25, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at February 25, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is she freaky-looking by conventional standards? Of course. Was her dress ugly as sh*t? Absolutely. But this is what makes Tilda Swinton so f&cking cool. She.Is.Cool. SO cool. I saw her on Saturday night at the Beverly Hills Hotel wearing a bright but pale pink shift and sky high heels with white makeup and borderline ugly but at the same time sexy as all hell. Full Story

Worst Oscar Promise: George & Sarah

February 25, 2008 06:17:05 Posted at February 25, 2008 06:17:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you’re George Clooney, the King of Hollywood, and you bring a girl to the Oscars, it is for real. Like a promise ring. Like a varsity jacket in high school. A global announcement on showbiz’s grandest stage – George shouted it out tonight confirming that this is more than a 6 month contract for a paid escort. Full Story