Oprah’s Mission Hetero

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 29, 2008 06:45:28 April 29, 2008 06:45:28

She is working HARD for the GMD. Almost too hard. Too hard to be entirely altruistic. Is your smutty sense tingling? Turns out that during her Tom Cruise two part special beginning Friday, Oprah recruits Cher to vouch for the GMD’s ungayness by recounting their brief affair 25 years ago. He was just breaking out at the time and they split because of conflicting schedules. Full Story

April 29, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 29, 2008 06:41:35 April 29, 2008 06:41:35

Happy Birthday Andrea! Megan sends her love and hopes your birthday is a blast. Oh and your niece Alexis says “Happy Happy Aunty”. To all UBC Law Grads – Congrats to everyone for surviving 3 years of Curtis High!” Love, Sandra. To Tanya recovering from hand carpal tunnel surgery… get well soon! Will do my best to heal you with smut. Full Story

Monday, April 28, 2008

Dear Gossips,

It’s shaping up to be a big week: Miley Cyrus topless in Vanity Fair? That’s the buzz. And is the MiniVan’s Golden Girl taking a Golden Shower? Please Xenu… please let it be so.

NB – a few site improvements have been implemented. First… an updated Links Section. Also look out for the daily Smutty Tingles – gossip partners from around the blog world. And finally, for those who’ve been asking, LaineyGossip.com is now mobile-friendly! Try it out on your Blackberry, your phone, whatever… it’s now way easier to scroll!

Monday, online all day, check back often. And SCROLL DOWN. Posted late day Friday – you don’t want to miss the flying gay pilot and the best young bitch in the business.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Kelly Ripa isn’t a cow as a boss. It’s not about Victoria Beckham either.

GP GQ

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 12:06:00 April 28, 2008 12:06:00

Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover of the new British GQ,like Miley Cyrus, draped in a sheet. Except my Gwynnie’s not a minor. As you can see… Gwyneth looks gorgeous, continuing along the same short skirt sexpot theme she’s been working during promotion for Iron Man. In the article, Gwynnie claims she’s not a snotty bitch ice princess everyone believes her to be: "People think I"m aloof, or old, or that I breathe rarefied air—that"s not me. Full Story

Mimi Cheese & Cannon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 11:03:00 April 28, 2008 11:03:00

LOVE it! Mariah Carey showed up at the Tribeca Film Festival last night dressed down in a simple white button down and jeans in order to properly show off her huge honkin’ new ring. Nick Cannon also happened to be at Tribeca and the two held hands afterwards at a party Full Story

How That Mouth Moves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 08:55:00 April 28, 2008 08:55:00

Do these look like lips that were coerced? Oh please. Team Miley continues to protest. But as you can see from the video below released by Vanity Fair, she is making love to the camera. And soaking up the attention. Her father meanwhile is loving it too. It"s the parents who love it the most! So now it’s officially Disney vs Conde Nast. Full Story

Oprah Rides the GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 08:28:05 April 28, 2008 08:28:05

I opened my column on Friday with the following re: Oprah’s new interview with Tom Cruise: “She’ll treat her flock to an intimate look inside the heavily guarded gates of the Cruise compound, she’ll play in Little Sci’s room, and she’ll whoop it up with Tom on the back of his manly motorcycle, just because that’s been every MiniVan Majority Member’s fantasy since Top Gun. Full Story

Becks Dequivered

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 08:03:00 April 28, 2008 08:03:00

Check out David Beckham playing for the LA Galaxy on Sunday – just about as unsexy as he’s ever looked. In fact, under that fecking beard, Becks is pretty mortal. Pretty ordinary. Pretty unquivering. This is wrong! Shave that sh*t! As for why he seems hellbent on keeping the manly facial hair… let’s play make-a-story, shall we? Is it getting too hard to stay true to his wife? Especially in Los Angeles where there are temptations around every corner, and right in front of you courtside at a basketball? Perhaps then the self uglification is an attempt at self discipline. Full Story

Miley Cyrus: wanton but unwilling?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 00:42:28 April 28, 2008 00:42:28

Miley’s much hyped photo shoot for Vanity Fair – as you can see, her top half is covered in nothing but a sheet. What’s more alarming though is that expression. That always open mouth hanging open per usual, begging to be desired. Reminder: she’s 15. Of course she wants to be sexy. Full Story

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