He got the trainer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 07:08:45 November 12, 2008 07:08:45

My husband and I joke about it all the time. But seriously. Who gets the dog if we divorce? I say me because Marcus was my 30th birthday present. He says him because I’m just Marcus’s food bitch. Needless to say, never mind anything else, over the dog…it’ll get ugly. When it comes to Hollywood splits, who gets what and how do they decide? I’ve heard some separations are so nasty they even fight over the plants. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Bond Week

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 07:02:37 November 12, 2008 07:02:37

Bond Quantum opens Friday in North America. Ready? Bond will no doubt own the box office this weekend but in terms of hype and buzz factor, Twilight’s premiere the week after seems to have drowned out 007 as tweens and hysterical mothers count down to their fantasy’s cinematic release. What!?!? Please. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

November 12, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2008 06:53:00 November 12, 2008 06:53:00

Happy Birthday Melissa H from Toronto! Melanie says we talk the same, sound the same. Let’s test that out at the next Smut Soiree? To Maggie in Toronto – Happy Birthday! Through sick parents and bad breakups, you’ve been the best friend ever to Jo. Alberta misses you! To Kristin on your 24th birthday – I hear you’re worried about “the quarter”. Full Story

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

We bonded last night, my husband and I, over our mutual horror watching Nicole Kidman’s arctic tundra on Oprah. Marcus had decided to spend part of the evening sleeping on dad’s lap, effectively pinning him to the couch, and instead of subjecting him to Gossip Girl (which came later) I offered up Granny Freeze and Hot Hugh. He accepted. This is marriage.

And then we spent the next hour freeze framing on her freeze face.

My husband is not prone to dramatics. But at one point, when Nicole almost had an aneurysm trying to squeeze out an emotion, he actually yelped from terror, eliciting a series of grumbles from our dickshi-t of a beagle expressing his displeasure about being disturbed. Granny Freeze disturbed Marcus.

But it’s the two level top lip!

Were you fascinated by the two level top lip? More on that later.
Tuesday – am blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Posted late yesterday – scroll down to get caught up.

PPS. Make-A-Wish is celebrating 25 years in Canada, granting wishes and creating hope and happiness for children living with life-threatening illnesses. The Awesome Anniversary Auction is one of the ways the organisation is commemorating this milestone. CLICK HERE to find out how to bid on a list of amazing prizes in support of future wishes!

Consolation Shopping

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 17:27:10 November 11, 2008 17:27:10

Poor Posh lost out to a ragged Jennifer Aniston for the December issue of Vogue. To date, Anna Wintour has yet to bless Mrs Beckham with her approval on the cover. To soothe her sorrows, Victoria decided to head to the mall for some fun times with her youngest son Cruz. She totally dressed down for the occasion too. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Posh can’t top this???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 14:54:00 November 11, 2008 14:54:00

What does Victoria Beckham want more than anything in life? More than anything, Victoria Beckham wants, needs, dreams of, salivates over, is begging for a US Vogue cover. And that amazing bitch Anna Wintour won’t give her one. So can you imagine what Posh must be thinking? Today of all days when she sees the magazine’s December cover featuring a less than ideal looking Jennifer Aniston? The sun is catching up to the face, non? Poor Posh is probably punishing herself over this. Full Story

Pippy’s so man!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 13:05:29 November 11, 2008 13:05:29

Pip’s balls may not have dropped all the way, but he swaggers like he’s a real man, all badass and ready to rumble with his security close behind him prepped to jump in as he confronts a pap for shooting him while he’s eating. Video is below. Do you remember Pipper on Punkd? When he practically wet his pants? Just as bonus, I’m throwing that in too. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Humphrey Hate-on

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 10:02:00 November 11, 2008 10:02:00

They say Brooklyn is cool. If Brooklyn is so cool, why do the Humphreys live there? Because the Humphreys all suck ass. All of them. Ugh. Last night’s Gossip Girl wasn’t the best. Probably because there wasn’t enough Chuck. Mostly because there was too much Dan. And Jenny. And that smarmy too hipster little Aaron is a cheese noodle. Full Story

Twitchy and coloured

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 08:07:10 November 11, 2008 08:07:10

It’s Lilo on Access Hollywood with Maria Menounos promoting her leggings line and talking about the election…because it’s so important what Lindsay Lohan thinks about the election? Well… Actually… Many people are convinced that in this clip she calls Obama the first “coloured” president. Full Story

Jennifer Aniston: weak, Bruno, and Vogue

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 07:41:13 November 11, 2008 07:41:13

About her desperate trip to the Ivy the other day, Just Jared heard from a “source” and apparently the “real” story behind her visit to the most pap friendly establishment in Hollywood was that Jennifer was there to “sign a contract with a chef and some big-time caterers for a health and nutrition school program she is working on to help overweight children. Full Story