Monday, January 28, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Finally a red carpet!

SAG Awards went down last night and as usual, the media masters, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, fresh off Angie’s Oscar snub, knew exactly what they were doing. At the centre of a pregnancy mystery, Mama Pitt put on a dress that stole the spotlight. Not because it was particularly revealing… but because it wasn’t. With her breasts pushed forward, and her belly too, deliberately drawing attention to her stomach, and her body draped in a muumuu, Angie gave hope to Brangelunatics everywhere that this is the year of the Second (and perhaps the Third) Coming. And she sent word to the Academy that their carpet will be much less intriguing without the Pitts porn-to-pregnant presence.

Have the Pitts actually produced an 8/8/8 baby??? Even better… bet your Botox Granny Freeze is growing even more grey at seeing her own fertility spotlight getting usurped by the two biggest names in gossip. Because if it really is the Second and the Third Coming, Granny Nicole’s delivery will be but a footnote on the day. Hee.

Full SAG fashion wrap-up and weekend update below – so many posts today it may take more than the home page. Scroll down and click on “view more articles” to get fully caught up.

Yours in gossip,


PS. To Tammy from your girls who miss you and love you and support you – he will get his. And there is MUCH better for you on the horizon. Trust.

UPDATE: Am blogging all day! Check back often!

Rossum For Money: Junior Murders Poetry

January 28, 2008 13:50:40 Posted at January 28, 2008 13:50:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I really should save this for a Friday, to send you roaring with laughter into the weekend. But it’s too good. It’s too f&cking good. And it’s so f&cking Rossum you will lose your sh*t. Promise. So in the February issue of Self Magazine, Tori Spelling is featured in the “My TrueSelf” section, something about how and where she finds inspiration, complete with photos of her dogs, an obligatory pimp of her new jewellery line, and of course… The Junior. Full Story

The Pitts" Parental Accessories

January 28, 2008 13:02:15 Posted at January 28, 2008 13:02:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Angelina and Brad - their accessories last night at the SAGs. On her a gold cuff, a gift from her lover, and here’s the best part: The design on the cuff is a drawing by their son Maddox. Brad evidently had it engraved on to the bracelet. Now tell me that’s not a shot straight to your private place. Full Story

Chicken Fried Blender

January 28, 2008 12:24:47 Posted at January 28, 2008 12:24:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This cover makes my life. The Mickey Mouse ashtray, the Red Bull, the reference to her underwear, and a clarification from the editors that reads:This cover image is a composite photo. Britney did not pose for the picture. That, sadly, is not her body. Snort. It’s the “sadly” that sends me over the edge. Full Story

Shelfy Summons… Pippy Comes Runnin’!

January 28, 2008 11:44:16 Posted at January 28, 2008 11:44:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Shocker! While Jessica Biel and her Shelf Ass have been in England massacring a movie with her bad accent, her Pipsqueak beau has been left to his own devices and seen partying solo and fighting temptation in LA. Rumours surfaced today from New York that he was spotted at Tenjune making out with a sizzling brunette. Full Story

Worst Dressed: Sara Ramirez

January 28, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at January 28, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You know I love her. You know I adore Callie. But what I said earlier about Nikki Blonsky applies to Sara Ramirez…she needs a hook up with America Ferrera’s stylist. Or Jennifer Hudson. Because curves are great. And curves need to be showcased more effectively. Curves need to be given their due. Full Story

Best Dressed: Marion Cotillard

January 28, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at January 28, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She won’t win the Oscar but she will win Best Dressed. Because my Marion’s dress last night was the standard. Love the no frills accessorising. And the close-scalp hair. And the makeup. And she is apparently even more spectacular in person, as every photographer and publicist I spoke to could not stop marvelling at how much more “beautiful she is when she moves”. Full Story

Best Dressed: Viggo Mortensen

January 28, 2008 10:44:32 Posted at January 28, 2008 10:44:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Don’t know what the hell that is dangling below his knee. Don’t care what it is either. Somehow it works. He’s weird enough to make it work. And he’s hot enough to quiver your loins even though he looks like psycho Gepetto. Seriously, I imagine Viggo Mortensen as the kind of dude with super pungent sweat… only you really wouldn’t mind in bed. Full Story

Best Actress: Julie Christie

January 28, 2008 10:41:22 Posted at January 28, 2008 10:41:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It seems a foregone conclusion now that Julie Christie will undoubtedly win the Oscar, making it the 2nd year in the row that the Academy has honoured the Silver Fox. In a youth-obsessed town, this is good news indeed. But enough about acting…how about the way Julie Christie owned the carpet last night? The pantsuit with the sequin detail totally made my life. Full Story

Jen Makes Friends in Vancouver

January 28, 2008 09:30:06 Posted at January 28, 2008 09:30:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Quick interruption of the SAG report for a Vancouver Aniston bulletin. Photos taken by Dean Sanderson for use only on of Jennifer Aniston getting a touch up on set the other day. After a rocky start to her shooting, thanks to an allegedly racist anti-Asian bodyguard, Jen is doing her best to make besties with the good people of Vancouver. Full Story

SITE GLITCH – Please read

January 28, 2008 09:17:29 Posted at January 28, 2008 09:17:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For some reason there was a glitch and older articles from today were not being accessed even by clicking on “View More Articles”. As a temporary fix, those articles have been posted under “Sunday January 27th” instead. Scroll down, click on VIEW MORE ARTICLES, keep scrolling and you should find what you’re looking for. Full Story