April 1, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 1, 2008 07:12:12 April 1, 2008 07:12:12

LOVE April 1st. My parents were married on April 1st. My husband was born on April 1st. April 1st is a great day... and I don’t play April Fool’s Day. To Jennifer – your sister says you’re nobody’s fool. But you are the best sister. Which is why you’ve probably received the best present already. Full Story

Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The story that ended up being a scam - am referring of course to the Star Magazine “exclusive” this weekend that the Pitts actually made it official…which, as you know by now, was apparently completely bogus. And the magazine itself has retracted the story.

Still… for a few hours on Saturday, Brangelunatics were losing their sh*t and a ripple was felt across the gossip universe, helped in no small part by Cindy Guagenti’s response when asked to validate the rumour. More on that later.

Countdown to Juno Week! Have you entered the Juno Gift Bag Contest? Click here for your chance to win. As for Calgary gossip night - looks like there’ll be too many of us for the BLVD back room. So we’re taking over the entire lounge! One night, one establishment, all smut, can’t wait! Thanks to BLVD Lounge for being so accommodating and more details re: the evening coming this week.

Monday – it’s busy! Am blogging all day, please do refresh often!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Josh Duhamel is not holding down Fergie. Stuart Townsend is not holding down Charlize.

PPS. Dear Justine, Keith, and Willem - congratulations! Miss you! And sorry for not calling...am the worst friend ever. But sending you all our love!

This is Single

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 13:39:00 March 31, 2008 13:39:00

This is single Cameron Diaz on the cover of May GQ. This is ridiculous. Cam’s body is ridiculous. Cameron tells the magazine that she’s been "boy crazy" for a year. That she is choosing not to be in a relationship because that’s where she is right now, preferring to enjoy instead a brief hook up now and again with the likes of John Mayer, Bradley Cooper, and – ugh – Criss Angel. Full Story

Salma Restrained

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 13:21:00 March 31, 2008 13:21:00

She was at the Balenciaga store opening in LA the other day with her man – as you can see, her mommy breasts are super strained against that black blouse. Damn. Her back must be killing her. And is it just me or is her man suddenly sexy? See how Salma Hayek can make a man hot? OK. Maybe not hot. Full Story

Sick Week

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 10:46:00 March 31, 2008 10:46:00

Which emerging starlet working on a high profile project supposedly did something to her face, particularly her lips, that didn’t go over so well with her directors and producers? This, combined with her sh*tty attitude, has led to a temporary dismissal. She’s been told to get off the set for a week and straighten herself out…and to hopefully come back with her features restored. Full Story

Gay Fantasy at the Laker Game

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 09:23:31 March 31, 2008 09:23:31

Hold on to your homos… check out David Beckham and a friend at the Laker game yesterday, good enough to get the fantasies going. It’s that gray cardigan, I think. Like an invitation with sequins on it. David is LA training with the Galaxy while the Posh celebrated her mother’s birthday in London – more on that later. Full Story

Madge Can Control Everything

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 08:32:00 March 31, 2008 08:32:00

The Madonna interview with Vanity Fair… First – her images. She looks amazing. Look at that ass. Don’t tell me that ass is photoshopped. You KNOW her ass is tight. Yes… that tight. And then there’s the interview. Madonna the artist, Madonna the visionary, Madonna the preacher, blah blah blah. Full Story

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Whitesnake Jackson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 07:18:00 March 31, 2008 07:18:00

Here I go again on my ownGoin’ down the only road I’ve ever known Sigh… I miss the 80s. And I miss this video. Pure 80s rock video cheese. With Tawny Kitaen (isn’t that the best name ever???!!??) writhing on top of a jaguar… they just don’t make videos like that anymore, you know? Or perhaps they do. Full Story

Mama Lo…Too Much Glow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 06:43:00 March 31, 2008 06:43:00

I know it’s the politically correct thing to say – when a new mother steps out, of course the compliments are supposed to follow. She looks amazing, her body looks amazing, amazing amazingness all over the place! So I understand as I write this that I am inviting your wrath. The MiniVan wrath. Full Story

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Wax Posh is Too Fat!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 06:37:53 March 31, 2008 06:37:53

Madame Tussaud limited edition wax figures of the Beckhams featured in Washington DC at the Cherry Blossom Soccer Tournament: David’s likeness is kinda off, his face is much less...filled. Victoria’s on the other hand is pretty perfect. She does look like this. Except… Skinnier. Which is why she would not approve. Full Story

Madonna’s Achilles Heel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2008 06:35:21 March 31, 2008 06:35:21

At first glance it sounds like a bullsh*t story – Madonna wants to remake Casablanca – particularly because it’s coming from the UK. But then again… for all her brilliance when it comes to music making, as entertaining as she is on stage – dancing and singing – and as incomparable as she is when it comes to reinvention and staying relevant, Madonna is totally f&cking clueless when to movies. Full Story