Monday, July 28, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Yet another child star became unhinged this weekend, trying to kill people with his car. Yay for child stardom! Perhaps an exception to the rule though – Natalie Portman…and child stars raised outside of North America. Away from Hollywood.

What are the chances Emma Watson will NOT be popped for DUI one day. I say pretty good. You? Here she is, soooo promisingly beautiful, at some hoity toity polo event this weekend in London, surrounded by eligible bachelors.

Sigh. November 21, 2008 … do we really have to wait so long for the Half Blood Prince?!?!?

It’s Monday, am back home in Vancouver and blogging all day. Check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis are not in crisis.

PPS. Bad hair and bug-eyed is not Shia LaBeouf. Also not Joaquin Phoenix.

Hello Kitty Dark Knight

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 12:51:37 July 28, 2008 12:51:37

Christian Bale and my Maggie G, in Tokyo to promote The Dark Knight, resplendent in orange. TDK is on pace to break every record known to Shiloh, and you bet your boob job all the Hello Kitties will help it get there. Cartoons, capes, and anything American…they will wait in line for a week. As a result of its astounding box office, TDK is now being bandied about as a potential contender for Best Picture. Full Story

Hitting Hot Harry’s Hot Seconds

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 12:48:51 July 28, 2008 12:48:51

Remember last year Hot Harry on a Horse was doing some army training in Calgary and he hooked up with a few tarty skanks at Cowboys? It’s the establishment where women who work there shove their titties in mens’ faces for extra tips. Anyway… turns out life is kinda the sh*ts for Smith Jerrod, even after the success of the Sex & the City movie because Jason Lewis has resorted to getting paid for low budget appearances AFTER the release of the film. Full Story

My dad doesn’t look like this

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 12:44:25 July 28, 2008 12:44:25

You won’t understand this if you were born of The Hills generation but if you were, like me, raised in the 80s, for about five minutes Rick Springfield had to have been your boyfriend. You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl So he was on Good Morning America this morning promoting a new album dropping tomorrow. Full Story

Gwyneth’s prettiest friend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 11:27:32 July 28, 2008 11:27:32

My Gwynnie and Christy Turlington belong in the same mommy club. They hang out, they have each other over for play dates, they look at themselves and snicker at other people for not being as tall, or as thin, or as elegant, or as rich, or as privileged. Actually…only Gwyneth does that. Christy’s a good soul. Full Story

Damn that MotherChucker!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 09:01:01 July 28, 2008 09:01:01

Leighton Meester shooting Gossip Girl today in New York pulling out the “move”: pretending she doesn’t want to be photographed. Love. Also attached – Jessica Szohr and Madchen Amick, Nate’s Mrs Robinson love interest. And as you can see from the new teasers just released, summer in the Hamptons is all about sex…and MotherChucking f7ckery! Enjoy! Photos from Splashnewsonline.com Full Story

Two Old Hags

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 07:44:24 July 28, 2008 07:44:24

Dylan said to me the other day that it’s scary being a single straight dude these days: “I keep givin’ the business to, like, 16 year olds.” He means with his eyes. He keeps eyef7cking the underage ones, thinking they’re legal, only to find out he was 5 minutes away from committing a crime. Full Story

Chicken Fried Amazing!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:52:07 July 28, 2008 06:52:07

Britney is celebrating the amicable resolution of her custody battle in Cabo with her assistant and friends, including George Maloof with whom she’s been friends for a long time. As you can see… her body, in a white bikini, it looks amazing. Amazing! And she’s smiling. Not the crazy eyeballs, up at 4am smiling that became her chicken fried signature but something resembling contentment. Full Story

Summer Buzz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:33:15 July 28, 2008 06:33:15

John Mayer played a show last night at the Verizon Amphitheatre showing off a new buzz. You likey? I prefer the longer. But he does look younger. And Jennifer Aniston certainly doesn’t mind that. And she certainly won’t mind reminding you that he’s younger too. The Oprah watching Mini-Van Majority loves 40 year old divorcees dating fresh rocker studs. Full Story

With Posh on your birthday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:27:30 July 28, 2008 06:27:30

The Thompson Hotel was the site of a celebrity birthday party on Saturday night. Victoria Beckham was there. She wore a dress no one could miss. Bright florals and even brighter, super sky high shoes. But Posh was not the birthday girl. Kate Beckinsale was the birthday girl. Kate Beckinsale wore black. Full Story