Oscar Kate!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 11:45:00 February 23, 2009 11:45:00

So now she has one. How 'bout that whistle from her dad? She was asked in the press room about the criticism she's received from stoic Brits about the emotion she's gushed throughout the course of the season. Her response? I don't give a sh-t. If they can't be happy for one of their own then f-ck 'em. Full Story

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Oscar Inseparable: Daniel & Satsuki

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 11:08:51 February 23, 2009 11:08:51

Word is he’s extremely uncomfortable at these events. Which is why he seems to cling to her for support. It’s very sweet. Not like a limp dick or anything. Just… one person needing another. This isn’t weakness is it? F-ck me. Sleeplessness = Oprahliness. Ugh. Anyway, they made their way down the carpet, reluctant to detach even for a moment, and then as soon as they moved away from the final photo wall towards the steps leading up to the Kodak, he looked at her and they hugged. Full Story

Oscar Thinnification: Victoria Beckham

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 10:41:08 February 23, 2009 10:41:08

Posh! We get it! We’ll never ever question whether or not some yo yo crack whore dieter like Lindsay Lohan is thinner than you…never again. You keep it consistent. You maintain the Skinny. You relentlessly pursue the brink point of emaciation vs survival. You are the Boniest Queen of Them All. Full Story

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Programming Note

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 10:01:32 February 23, 2009 10:01:32

Oscar ratings look to be up between 6 – 10% this year over last, considered a modest success. Twihards are probably taking credit for this. Anyway, I have a flight out of LA this afternoon. And I have to check out soon. Full Story

Oscar I’m over you: Anne Hathaway

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 09:43:24 February 23, 2009 09:43:24

Let’s start with eating. Squirrels should eat more because otherwise their eyes go buggy. I’m a bitch, I’ll say it for you. I’ve already said it over and over again anyway. Sometimes she looks like a squirrel. But Duana was all like – oh she’s so lovely, I like her so much, so when her boyfriend when to jail, I was swayed by my friend. Full Story

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Oscar finally: Freida Pinto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 09:20:00 February 23, 2009 09:20:00

Loved it. Finally not a prom dress. Maybe not the hair but the blue and the detail and the way it moved – in person this was magnificent. In person she popped. In person it took away the headache of Beyonce and replaced it with a calm serenity. In person this girl… This girl makes you feel good about the world. Full Story

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Oscar sit your dumbass DOWN: Miley Cyrus

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 08:57:41 February 23, 2009 08:57:41

As I said on the show last night, Dolly Parton exploded all over her dress. I can’t…I can’t talk about this dress. Like what the f-ck in hick town hill billy is she wearing? And seriously, did her parents raise her in a convenience store? Please… Please watch this video. Please note her mannerisms. Full Story

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Best Oscar Hair: Taraji P Henson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 08:38:23 February 23, 2009 08:38:23

I love her so much. I love that there aren’t five million things attached to her head. I love that if I told you she woke up with hair looking pretty much like this you’d believe me. Don’t you prefer when someone shows up on a carpet knocking it out of the stratosphere without seeming like they agonised over it for a month? Like Kate Beckinsale? Or, ahem, me? Anyway. Full Story

Worst Oscar Hair: Alicia Keys

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 08:18:40 February 23, 2009 08:18:40

This hurts me. Very badly. Because I love her. She is perfect. She is kind and smart and she purrs. Michelle says she purrs when she talks. She can purr in my ear all day. Of course she’s sooooo beautiful too. But the hair, the hair is so obviously a fake, some kind of wig/weave/whatever…it made me sad. Full Story

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Best Oscar Bitch Face: Penelope Cruz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 07:54:07 February 23, 2009 07:54:07

Apparently winning an Oscar now gives her the right to demonstrate her Bitch Face. Amazing. At the very end of the Hugh Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia number, Hugh shouted out “Musicals are back”! Or something to that effect. Take a look at Pene’s expression. She does not agree. Penelope Cruz hates musicals So yeah, I was underwhelmed by her dress. Full Story

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