Chicken Fried New Year’s Eve

January 2, 2008 07:17:23 Posted at January 2, 2008 07:17:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gah! Spoke too soon! Though she wasn’t falling down at some club and coked out of her eyeballs, Britney still managed to welcome the new year with a dose of Chicken Fried Stupid. And skanky. Word is she was with her boys and a court appointed supervisor AND THAT PAPARAZZO she picked up last week. Full Story

Ingrate Makes More Money

January 2, 2008 06:53:51 Posted at January 2, 2008 06:53:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

America’s new sweetheart Katherine Heigl was married two weeks ago in Park City, Utah. In case you were hoping for an invitation but didn’t receive one, it appears OK! Magazine has paid a handsome price for the privilege. Now you can stop wondering what her dress looked like. Wonder if Katie will donate the proceeds to the WGA? After all, now that she makes $6 million per picture thanks to Knocked Up, a movie she decided to sh*t on recently, Heigl probably has some extra cash kickin’ around, non? Her meteoric rise has been impressive. Full Story

Xenu Labour

January 2, 2008 06:51:56 Posted at January 2, 2008 06:51:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Out of nowhere she’s suddenly besties with the GMD. Then she reveals her father has been a Scientologist for 20 years. And my sources report she’s an avid reader of church literature, highlighting key passages for review over and over again. Of course she and Marc had also been trying for a long time to get pregnant. Full Story

Madge’s Indian Holiday

January 2, 2008 04:50:26 Posted at January 2, 2008 04:50:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Madonna and family have much to celebrate. She signed a $100 million ten year deal with Live Nation meaning she’ll still be poppin’ and rockin’ until she’s almost sixty, she worked with Pip and Timbaland on a new album set to drop this Spring, and now comes news that her much contested adoption of baby David Banda from Malawi will likely be confirmed ahead of time after an excellent review from a social worker assigned to assess how David is adjusting to his new family – beautifully. Full Story

Grey & Ugly

January 2, 2008 04:46:02 Posted at January 2, 2008 04:46:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I have a high threshold for pain when it comes to Posh. Takes a lot for me to find her unbearable. But even I can’t excuse Posh’s NYE ensemble. Seems Victoria the style expert forgot her foundation doesn’t match her orange. And pulling back her hair doesn’t help all those pointy angles. Full Story

Dina’s Pride & Joy

January 2, 2008 04:42:51 Posted at January 2, 2008 04:42:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Here’s Lindsay Lohan in the pages of the Daily Mail on NYE spreading her orange ass all over some local dude called Dario. So how drunk do you have to be to let this happen while paps are swarming the joint waiting for you to f&ck up? I’m old and crusty now, maybe I’ve lost touch with the 20s. Full Story

Let’s Call It What It Is

January 2, 2008 04:39:59 Posted at January 2, 2008 04:39:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If it’s totally acceptable to call Katie Couric a cougar for dating a man 17 years her junior and Helena Christensen the same for dealing with Heath Ledger who’s younger by a decade, then how about taking Milo Ventimiglia off your Freebie Five and labelling him a perv? Because he and Hayden Panettiere are slowly, slowly crawling out publicly. Full Story

How to Help Your Man

January 2, 2008 04:37:01 Posted at January 2, 2008 04:37:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gisele Bundchen is a supermodel, by profession and genetic jackpot, understandably one of the most narcissistic creatures on the planet. And still, Gisele is capable of putting her ego away when a game is on the line. When her man Tom Brady needs to focus on the job, Gisele knows it’s not her time. Full Story

Monday, December 31, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Hope you had a lovely holiday break. Am back in North America after enjoying a Hello Kitty Christmas in Hong Kong with the parents where my husband asked the question that has baffled Asians and non-Asians alike for years:

What’s up with the double peace sign pose?

I’ve no doubt you’ve seen it. Two Hello Kitties will stand side by side for a photo, cock their bodies to the side, with both hands spread in the peace sign framing their faces and their bad teeth. If you’ve never had the pleasure, head to any tourist attraction near you and give it 5 minutes. Trust.

Last day of an epic year. Final Best of 2007 moments to come in today’s column and hope you’re ready and well rested for 2008! Awards season kicks off in days and the Family Pitt is on campaign trail!

By the way – not even Sean Penn was immune to Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton. It will destroy everything, see? Next victim: hopefully Kevin Federline.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Happy Champagne Birthday to Erin K – you will love your 30s. Promise!

PPS. Uma Thurman is NOT on Holiday Detox.

PPPS. Eddie Murphy is not getting gay with it in his trailer.

Ebola Boo Hoo: Best of 2007

December 31, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at December 31, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And finally… the best moment of the year. Could there really be another moment to top this? Did we all not stand up and cheer and cackle and get rip roaring drunk on June 8th when Rocky Delgadillo hauled Ebola’s diseased ass back to jail? Let’s recap the best day ever, shall we? So Paris is in jail. Full Story

Presenting Katie Holmes: Best of 2007

December 31, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at December 31, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

2007 was the year we were introduced to the new Cruise patented move: the Presentation of Katie Holmes. Red carpet after red carpet, the GMD would arrive at some event with his robobride in tow, and like a proud father at the cotillion, Tom would “present” his wife with cameras flashing. It is at once awkward, and weird, and creepy, and f*cking hilarious. Full Story