Paparazzi > Punk Ass Poseur

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 13:42:00 March 4, 2008 13:42:00

Avril Lavigne told Maxim that she hates the paparazzi: “THEY’RE all really gross old men. They come up to you and are like, ‘Avril, what did you do today?’ And I’m like, ‘Why the [bleep] would I talk to you? Eww’ ” Can you hear her saying it in her forever grade 10 voice? So punk ass poseur is all tough and tumble, says she’s not into getting papped… but consider this: - Avril’s tour isn’t selling like it was expected to. Full Story

Rihanna: lessons from Kate Hudson?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 13:12:57 March 4, 2008 13:12:57

Chris Brown loves Rihanna. So much that he apparently bought her an adorably cheesy necklace that she showed off during fashion week. RiRi was the toast of Paris and Chris tagged along too, having already travelled with her home to Barbados and the two have been spotted making out on several occasions even though she keeps denying they’re dating. Full Story

Funny Bitch is the New Black

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 12:09:00 March 4, 2008 12:09:00

Tiny Fey is f&cking brilliant. Her return to SNL last week was the closest I’ve ever come to burning my bra. And this is the best issue of Vanity Fair in a long, long time. Maybe even the best photo spread, like, ever. Way, way, way better than that garbage they threw out last month – the most promising Hollywood starlets with Shelfy Biel on the cover and Ellen Page pushed back the flap… WTF??? Redemption however comes in April. Full Story

My Name is Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 11:50:18 March 4, 2008 11:50:18

You like that show? My Name is Earl? If so, look out. Because it’s about to become a lot more diseased. Just confirmed – Hollywood Ebola will play herself in the season return in April. Perhaps the writers will be clever and subversively nail her ass to the wall like she deserves. Perhaps she’ll be too dumb to understand the true intent behind the script. Full Story

Best.Jess.Ever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 10:26:44 March 4, 2008 10:26:44

With Nick Lachey is tacky ass bad and too much cleave. With John Mayer she wore her pants high-waisted, her face bloated, and everything else tranny. With Tony Romo, ever since Tony Romo, it’s been a whole new Jess. Proof of that is in the hair. The hair has not looked budget or ghetto weaved, not once. Full Story

Prince Charming Minus the Scowl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 09:04:15 March 4, 2008 09:04:15

Patrick Dempsey in Madrid at the launch of the new Subaru wearing the hell outta that suit and a much more relaxed smile without Mrs Scowl infecting him with her lousy mood. He’s expected back on set soon at Grey’s – long days, long nights after a long break which he reportedly enjoyed very much. Full Story

Ebola Shames Shamans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 08:26:10 March 4, 2008 08:26:10

Not that there was any doubt but there are always one or two random losers… one or two who probably believed yesterday that Ebola’s little public excursion at the weekend with a shaman represented a genuine metamorphosis from virus to redeemable human. Wrong. Paris Hilton will always be a disease. Full Story

Sandra at the Genies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 07:55:27 March 4, 2008 07:55:27

Sandra Oh hosted the Genie Awards last night – Canada’s Oscars. As you can see, she’s been dressing lately like total ass. Big winner was Sarah Polley’s Away From Her but as you might have heard, much of the build-up going in to last night was the omission of Juno from consideration. Full Story

March 4, 2008 – Smutty Shout-outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2008 07:53:14 March 4, 2008 07:53:14

For Anna – you will be all kindsa wonderful in Minnesota. I have no doubt. Sending you many positive thoughts and a pep hug. Good luck! Let me know how it goes. For Daniel – Happy Birthday you sexy gay! For Tamara – congratulations. I’m sure it was worth the wait.    Full Story

Monday, March 3, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Thanks for all your messages re:Censorship in Canada and what to do. I wrote to my MP and the PM and the Canadian Heritage Minister. If I was a Facebook user, I’d also join the “group”. It’s apparently several thousand strong and growing every day. Have no idea how to use Facebook so apologies for not being able to direct you there. Another article about the possible ramifications of Bill C-10 can be found here.

Sorry. Enough proselytising…

Time for smut. And Xenu was strong in Toronto this weekend. Plus – two new riddles…and Granny Freeze at her worst!

It’s Monday – online all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Carrie Underwood is a total bitch, yes. But she’s not this total bitch who actually isn"t alone. A dude has now joined the No Talking Club. More on that later.

PPS. The Annual Contest winner has been notified. Three days ago. Don"t you want your prize?

No bump… but that ass!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2008 14:34:42 March 3, 2008 14:34:42

Now that it’s been conceded that she’s not pregnant, can we please just focus on her ass? Damn that ass! Kate Hudson in a bikini today in Miami with little Ryder (not pictured) showing off one of the finest asses, like, ever. Ever. Why isn’t Leonardo DiCaprio all over this ass? Seriously… Kate and Leo – maneater vs lady killer. Full Story