Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 08:04:25 July 22, 2008 08:04:25

More entertaining than Lauren vs Heidi. For reals. (Dlisted)

My doppelganger has concrete tits (Hollywood Tuna)

One lame song = p*ssy for a decade (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

What an exploitative, parent pimp former hooker wears to court (INO)

8 Mile Waffle House beatdown (Holy Moly UK)

Is this why her witch boil went missing? (Cele|bitchy)

The GMD’s real date at the races (IDLYITW)

Lust Fool

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 07:18:18 July 22, 2008 07:18:18

Sienna Miller is an easy target, and deservedly so. She’s Tori Spelling, only not f&cking ugly. And not the daughter of a Hollywood gazillionaire. Where culpability is concerned however, he’s the one with 4 kids – the youngest only 10 months old. So Sienna’s douchebaggery pales in comparison to Balthazar Getty’s. Full Story

Maggie in a jumpsuit

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 06:49:00 July 22, 2008 06:49:00

LOVE it. Love, love, love! My Maggie Gyllenhaal in a jumpsuit yesterday on the carpet for The Dark Knight premiere in London not looking like every other generic starlet in a strapless dress. But you have to be tall and lanky. Jessica Simpson, for instance, should never, ever, ever attempt. Ever. Still. Full Story

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Please...not....him

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 06:41:04 July 22, 2008 06:41:04

Christian Bale walked the carpet yesterday in London at the European premiere of The Dark Knight, hot as ever, but with a little more gravitas than usual. Initially thought perhaps he was tired of the dog and pony show, given his penchant for extreme privacy... turns out something more sinister may be at play. Full Story

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July 22, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 06:21:00 July 22, 2008 06:21:00

To Jana F in the Hammer from your lovely sister Circus Tail. Happy Birthday!! You are the BEST sister in the whole world, even if you do like Britney Spears, Gavin Rossdale, zombie movies and anything with a gold-gilded/sparkle finish. Now, picture this in your head: SISTERS....GETTING OLDER.... Full Story

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Fred Segal is evil. It was the end of a decadent girls’ weekend. We were driving down La Cienaga towards the airport yesterday, 15 minutes early, and happened to be approaching Melrose.

Julie: What should we do?
Me: Freg Segal. Now. Go.


Power shopping – it’s dangerous. Am broke. But this weekend I too brought my twins home: size 8, 105mm thin covered heel, brushed patent, pink and nude striped pumps. And even though they’re not Holy Jolie Pitts, they will be loved and cared for, just as if I birthed them myself.

The Dark Knight… Right? Right?

It’s Monday – busy, busy weekend recap. Am blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. There is no crisis in JLo’s commitment.

Leo Love Bars…still

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 14:38:24 July 21, 2008 14:38:24

They’re engaged, then they aren’t seen together in public so they break up, then five minutes later it’s like they’re walking down the aisle – according to the tabloids, Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli have a rather dramatic love. Or maybe he’s just so undercover he really knows how to hide and plug the leaks? Leo rarely ventures out… but when he does, he’s always a prime target. Full Story

Hiding His Pretty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 11:55:27 July 21, 2008 11:55:27

Hayden Christensen was in LA this weekend with girlfriend Rachel Bilson – seen here running errands. Hayden hasn’t worked in a while. And since he’s also trying to break out of the box of teen pop appeal, like so many of his pretty boy peers, Hayden is hiding his pretty by working out the hirsute. Full Story

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Angie is fatter than Granny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 11:08:04 July 21, 2008 11:08:04

The clever folks at Bauer Griffin were able to capture the first shots of Angelina Jolie out of the hospital, on the grounds of the Pitt Family chateau watching her kids play. You will note that even the skinny ass Angie, always at the centre of ridiculous heroin rumours that are complete bollocks because of her veiny arms, even Angie after twins wearing black is fuller everywhere than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman wearing white. Full Story

Granny had a baby?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 08:39:24 July 21, 2008 08:39:24

When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story