You better bring it, Chris

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 06:02:14 January 27, 2009 06:02:14

I’ve bitched about this several times before - the last few Coldplay live tv performances have sounded like sh-t. More specifically Chris Martin has sounded like sh-t. So Coldplay has been confirmed for the Grammys. Yesterday however the Grammys announced that Radiohead will also be on hand for their “first live U. Full Story

Russian GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 05:54:51 January 27, 2009 05:54:51

And Xenu loves money! As mentioned several months ago, Russia has become a must-stop on the Hollywood promotional tour. There is BIG money in Russia. And Russians seem desensitised to supercheese. So here’s the GMD in Moscow at the premiere of Valkyrie last night looking all heroic and sh-t, accepting a rose from his ardent fans, continuing to work that new young waxy face. Full Story

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January 27, 2009 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 05:37:24 January 27, 2009 05:37:24

Happy Birthday Kara! I miss you, wish we were all celebrating together! Love Jane Much love to the Lunch Money Day girls and the volunteers working hard to recruit companies to participate in helping to feed the hungry. 15,000 meals in just one day! Full Story

Monday, January 26, 2009

Dear Gossips,

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! Wishing you well for the Year of the Ox: Health, happiness, and prosperity!

We are spending the week in Toronto to celebrate. Had dinner with my mother, the Chinese Squawking Chicken gets loudest on this occasion. Want to see her New Year outfit?

It’s a new classic.

She’s been harping about it for weeks. On the phone – you HAVE to see what I have planned for New Year dinner. We were instructed to photograph her all night long. Not sure if the photos do justice. It was orange and bedazzled all the way to Beijing. The front of the blouse was crazy sequined…which MATCHES her nasty ass sparkly nails. Not fakeys either. And the back…the back is my mother’s motto.

Don’t Forget Me.

How could we?

So anyway, we were at dinner, then we went to Temple which means I missed the SAGs. Few things take precedence over gossip. Chinese New Year is one of them. So I’m still catching up. But the photos…the photos tell the story. Many photos and commentary to follow.

Suffice to say however, Oscar will be a tight race. Perhaps tightest race in years with Meryl’s win setting up a very hotly contested Best Oscar showdown between the Streep, the Winslet, and perhaps the Princess Hathaway squeaking in as a tie breaker. Also, clearly, Sean Penn is still winning the industry popularity contest. Mickey has a month to campaign. Drama!


Would you believe it though that something happened this weekend that actually eclipsed the SAGs? High waisted country Porny at the country fair.

For real. It’s only January 26th but already, these are my favourite pictures of the year. More on that later.

Long column today. Please note: SCROLL DOWN, click VIEW MORE ARTICLES to get caught up on it all. You can also click here to get all the SAG coverage in one place.

Yours in gossip,


PS. What kind of Xenu bribe had to happen for Katie Holmes to present Best Actor? As if.

Predictable Alba

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 14:52:40 January 26, 2009 14:52:40

Jessica Alba was nominated for multiple Razzies last week despite ongoing efforts at wooing the MiniVan and playing like she’s civic minded. I wrote at the time: How long before the Alba Cow rushes out new photos of herself playing with her daughter to try and erase from public minds the memory of these Razzie noms? I say the weekend. Full Story

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Jolie inspiration

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 13:13:00 January 26, 2009 13:13:00

Remember Angelina Jolie’s bitchface at the Critics’ Choice Awards when Anne Hathaway started dithering on stage? Angie is a novice compared to the legendary Sophia Loren. Here in Rome today with Daniel Day-Lewis on the set of Nine – the longest shoot ever!?!? – treating us to a clinic on how to give face. Full Story

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Michael Cera sucks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 11:59:33 January 26, 2009 11:59:33

And there is no pleasure in saying this. Because he’s supposed to be a sweet kid…when he’s not flailing his ego about and pissing on the movie version of the tv show that made him. But it’s true. Michael Cera’s Paper Heart ate it at Sundance. Touted as one of the most highly anticipated films at the film festival, Paper Heart ended up falling flat. Full Story

Somebody and Nobody

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 11:47:20 January 26, 2009 11:47:20

Paris Fashion Week – Christian Dior. Reigning Best Actress and my girl crush Marion Cotillard arrives all subtle gorgessity, the current face of Lady Dior, with the innate French ability to capture a look that suits the moment. She is extraordinary and we must worship her. And look what the D List dragged in. Full Story

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Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 11:10:14 January 26, 2009 11:10:14

Where the Silver Fox puts his bitch (Dlisted)

Tinfoil on her bikini and tacky in her ears (Hollywood Tuna)

Spittle is a poet (Just Jared)

Filthy Scab v2.0 (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Jason Bourne > James Bond? (Pop Sugar)

JailBait rides a stallion (A Socialite's Life)

Love the 80s. LOVE this photo shoot (INO)

Triangle showdown at the Oscars! (Cele|bitchy)

Only 39? Bullsh-t. (IDLYITW)

Her boyfriend is prettier than her dress (ICYDK)

Even her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 10:38:24 January 26, 2009 10:38:24

As repeated too many times, my friend Michelle has a thing about sateen. It makes her crazy. Michelle is a tv producer. Sateen looks terrible on television and in photographs. So unflattering. Lumps where there are no lumps. Even Victoria Beckham. Here’s Posh arriving at LAX yesterday surprisingly underdressed by her standards. Full Story

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