Dumbass Parade

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 11:08:00 March 26, 2008 11:08:00

Richie Sambora arrested for DUI – another f*cking bonehead trying to murder people with his vehicle. WTF? Bon Jovi is super rich ass. The band, I mean. Millions of albums sold, a big stadium act, the man has money. He can afford a fecking driver. And while his addiction has obviously been a lifelong battle, it’s also not an excuse. Full Story

Ryan Phillippe’s 3rd child?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 10:01:00 March 26, 2008 10:01:00

SO many people are going to be pissed! Click here for the full smutty break down AND an attempted cover-up. Is Abbie Cornish knocked up? How fertile is this man??? And how do you think the others feel if Abbie gets to have it? You know Type A is gritting her teeth through her sunshine smile. Full Story

The GMD and the Seven Dwarves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 09:24:00 March 26, 2008 09:24:00

Speak of the Xenu… this just in! The GMD has been found. With exclusive information on what he’s been up to. Am told that Tom Cruise was spotted yesterday at the Walt Disney studio lot taking a meeting with Dick Cook who is the top dog at Walt Disney. Little Sci was with her dad, no Katie, and they were outside the Team Disney Building with the Seven Dwarves (the Gay Midget Dwarf and the Seven Dwarves!) looking at the statues of Mickey and Minnie and they were attended to by 3 assistants and 3 security. Full Story

One More in Training

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 08:46:00 March 26, 2008 08:46:00

Demi Moore in New York headed out of her hotel with youngest daughter Tallulah Belle. My previous comments about Tallulah are here and as you can see, at 14, she’s already training for it. Full Story

2002

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 08:28:35 March 26, 2008 08:28:35

Nick Lachey and gorgeous pageant queen Vanessa Minnillo were out for dinner last night at Katsu-ya looking like they just stepped out of 2002. Boot cut over pointy toe for her and borderline boyband/guido tee for him… not unlike what my mom sent over Full Story

Bad Skin vs Chubb

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:42:11 March 26, 2008 07:42:11

After seeing these photos of Victoria Beckham yesterday, my friend Beth, a doctor who focuses extra on girly issues, sent me the following: “Acne is worse when malnourished or stressed. Full Story

Teeth Are Bad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:40:00 March 26, 2008 07:40:00

My mother is old school – she says girls should show teeth when they smile. Especially if they’re lucky enough to have relatively good teeth. Teeth are a touchy subject with Asians. Because we are genetically predisposed to having f&cked up teeth. We are taught how to cut in line Full Story

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Canada Loves Madge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:36:27 March 26, 2008 07:36:27

She’s 50 in just 4 months but Madonna can still rock it and she still owns it. Warner Music announced today that Madge’s 4 Minutes with Justin Timberlake is the “fastest single to hit #1 in Canadian radio history”. Seriously… who are the dumbasses who keep saying it’s over? It’s not over. Full Story

March 26, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:33:22 March 26, 2008 07:33:22

Happy Birthday Jessica! Kevin sent me a 2nd request…hope I got it right this time? He was also very contrite. And sweet. I forgive him. To Mariana on your 28th with love from Alejandra: we miss you on the east coast…but hang in there, your dream job is waiting for you! To Jennifer M from Sarah R – happy belated birthday and hope you’re feeling better? And finally… For Hilary Zoe Joan: you will be great tomorrow… I know it. Full Story

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Dead tired today, couldn’t sleep last night because Heidi’s crazy plastic face kept haunting me… did you watch The Hills??? Did it move??? Did her face move at all??? More on that later.

Busy day in gossip. Kate and Owen are officially back together, holding hands and not hiding from the paps, Britney’s rather anticlimactic turn on How I Met Your Mother, and Renee Zellweger super scary freshly peeled.

But first… Countdown to the Junos! Canada celebrates Canadian music in Calgary – are you ready for the red carpet?

eTalk is putting fans on the red carpet AND inside the show… you interested?

Send an email to [email protected] or call 1-866-460-4797 to reserve your free spot on the Red Carpet. I’ll be there too, covering the event for eTalk! When you see me… shout out GMD or Granny Freeze! Because we’re giving away tickets to the show and would LOVE for you to watch from inside the Saddledome.

Also up for grabs - one LaineyGossip.com reader who is on the Juno red carpet will win a brand new Alice + Olivia polka dot clutch from their new line of accessories available at PayLess which is actually getting great reviews. Particularly the polka dot series. The flats are adorable. The clutch is amazing. And if you live in Calgary, the clutch could be yours.

Junos April 6th! Can’t wait to see you there!

Tuesday – am online all day, remember to refresh! Click here to see who came in first on the list of Top 5 Smutty Break-Ups!

Congratulations to “tmichele23” who sent in her list of Smutty Break-Ups and who is now the winner of a brand new 4-shade Cargo Lipstick set designed by Kim Raver, Denise Richards, and Angie Harmon. The swag is good…see?

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

All Bones and No Toe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 14:17:00 March 25, 2008 14:17:00

Only Victoria Beckham could wear pants this small and make them look lose. Sagging off her scrawny ass. Lording her thinness over all of us fatties. And no camel toe! Love her. Posh is back in London to support Becks who has rejoined the English squad. Of course she went shopping… because there really is nothing to buy in LA. Full Story