Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Chinese New Year’s Eve and I miss my mother. She called me last night to remind me about the rituals, to let me know she’d posted my lucky money pockets, and not one word of criticism. In fact, it’s the only time of the year my mother gives her bitch a break, for fear of starting the upcoming lunar new year on an unlucky foot - an attitude so self serving it ends up being bitchy anyway.

My very best wishes to you and yours for a healthy and prosperous Year of the Rat, a year traditionally of new beginnings and maybe even new loves – nice AND naughty. Given that the rat is also associated with romance, word is 2008 also promises sexy time and scandal, hand in hand.

Translation: more smut!

Wednesday – cleaning all day, blogging all day, refresh refresh refresh! And scroll down for late articles you may have missed.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Thanks to the lovely ladies at Style Spy for the feature as Girl of the Week!

PPS. From Katie to Megan – congratulations on your “bejewelled state”!

PPPS. Ryan Gosling is not having problems finding good help. Nor Leo. And not Three Whiskers Orlando Bloom either. Coke isn’t Clooney’s thing and Elijah Wood is too easy.

To Marchesa with the Twins

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 00:00:00 February 6, 2008 00:00:00

Rendered deliriosu from Baby Fever, several outlets jumped the gun last week reporting that Jennifer Lopez had checked into a Long Island hospital to give birth. Obviously not. Her father, the Scientologist, did confirm yesterday however that she is indeed expecting twins. Definitely looks like it too. Full Story

This I Buy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 13:10:41 February 6, 2008 13:10:41

After their hook up on the set of Factory Girl, Harvey Weinstein tried to capitalise on the brief fling between Hayden Christensen and Sienna Miller. Unfortunately, their attraction quickly turned into animosity and given that Hayden allegedly refused to cooperate, he quickly went from being Harvey’s goldenboy to sitting in his sh*thouse. Full Story

The Best Tacky Glam

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 12:15:05 February 6, 2008 12:15:05

It rarely works, and it works only on a select few. The red lips, the frizzy hair, the earrings, the makeup… for anyone else my mother would be screeching low classy. On Kylie Minogue, it’s perfect. Love, love, love. Kylie showed up at the Golden Camera Awards with some horse teeth too – unlike Hilary Swank, Kylie’s chompers are the cutest. Full Story

If Count Dracula Made Love to a Horseā€¦

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 11:55:16 February 6, 2008 11:55:16

Presenting Hilary Swank, here at the Golden Camera Awards in Germany. Like Sarah Jessica Parker, Hilary with her equine dental work is starting to resemble Helen Gurley Brown, the original Fun! Fearless! Female! Blech. Blecher still is the fact that this bitch has not one but TWO Oscars… the second one thanks in large part to Clint Eastwood’s tireless campaigning. Full Story

Holiday with Bar Leo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 00:00:00 February 6, 2008 00:00:00

Leo loves models. And really… can you blame him? He is after all a total dude. A dude who once trolled the club scene with what was known then as his “p*ssy posse”. At the very least, he has a certain aesthetic standard. And as you can see, Bar Rafaeli very much lives up to it. Bar and Leo have been enjoying a bit of down time on vacay, lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun, doing jack f&ck all the way rich people do. Full Story

Britney Spears Rolling Stone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 00:00:00 February 6, 2008 00:00:00

By now you’ve heard she’s made the cover –a lengthy expose on what went wrong. The article is better than what you’ll find in People, Us Weekly, In Touch – all of them. It’s well researched, with quotes from legitimate NAMED sources… and while many of you may be sympathising with Spears of late, considering the constant daily updates from the TMZ psych ward (is there such thing as patient confidentiality anymore?), the Rolling Stones portrait is part neutral but also very critical – of her management team, of the media, of society, but especially of Lynne and Jamie’s relentless exploitation of their children, and above all judgment of Britney herself, asserting that she has been complicit in what’s become of her, hell bent on proving to the world that she is not the angel she was sold to be. Full Story

Blake is Falling

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 09:01:13 February 6, 2008 09:01:13

Rapidly. All of a sudden since the show went on strike hiatus, it’s like she can’t style herself anymore. Blake Lively is falling! Help her! This is Blake Lively turning into Jessica Simpson at Letterman yesterday quickly turning into a generic blonde mall girl. Even the eyeshadow is going to sh*t. Full Story

What Happened to Brittany Murphy?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 08:38:20 February 6, 2008 08:38:20

I met her during the Toronto International Film Festival in 2006 at an after hours party. She seemed cranked up on something – possibly ecstasy – and was fully buried in oblivion on the dance floor by the time we arrived, grinding up on 2 different men, spinning around suggestively, and still the sweetest girl ever. Full Story

Heather Has-been

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 07:59:37 February 6, 2008 07:59:37

Once upon a time, some people actually cared about Heather Graham. Then they figured out she can’t do much but open her eyes wide and look pretty. It was over quickly. Credit to her, she still persists. Still making her way in Hollywood, with a lifetime membership on the C List, and resorting to tactics like these for attention. Full Story