Ass > Babies?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 11:37:00 March 17, 2008 11:37:00

Now THAT is an ass. And it belongs to Jennifer Aniston, enjoying her day off in Miami by doing what she does best, sunning herself in Miami but thankfully not shouting at the ocean. Jen’s in a much better place these days. But that ass. That ass. Her hair and her ass. The only two things she can lord over Angelina Jolie. Full Story

No Country for Old Men DVD Giveaway!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 11:35:00 March 17, 2008 11:35:00

Available now on DVD, this year’s reigning Best Picture winner directed by the Coen Brothers, with Oscar winner Javier Bardem (yum, but not in the film), Josh Brolin, and Tommy Lee Jones. It’s a brilliant film… but did Joel and Ethan have to be so glib??? Maybe they’re just too smart for us. Full Story

One Dog Shelf Ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 11:18:00 March 17, 2008 11:18:00

Shelfy Biel is back in LA after spending weeks in England fouling up a new movie version of Easy Virtue. Here she is, back to her old tricks, walking her one remaining dog in Brentwood. There was an interesting item in the last issue of Us Weekly after recent rampant speculation about Pip Timberlake and Kate Hudson hooking up. Full Story

Jean on Jean

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 10:47:13 March 17, 2008 10:47:13

Matt Damon with Luci in London on Saturday having dinner at Cipriani. If we went to Cipriani, we’d probably be kicked out for wearing what he wore. But he’s Matt Damon. And Matt Damon wears a toque and denim on denim at Cipriani. Love. Matt and Luciana are expecting their 2nd child. Yes I know some of you find her fugly. Full Story

Golddigger Pay Day

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 09:35:00 March 17, 2008 09:35:00

Well…she got paid, Heather Mills did. But significantly less than what she’s been angling for. “Only” £25 million, roughly US$50 million which is major cash for people like us… but really not so much for people who live the luxe life. And for someone who was originally asking for over £100, it’s obviously not exactly an ideal settlement – on her terms. Full Story

Heart, Truth, Fashion

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 09:19:00 March 17, 2008 09:19:00

Toronto is abuzz – L’Oreal Fashion Week is in full swing and this season, for the first time, The Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada is presenting The Heart Truth Fashion Show, the signature event of The Heart Truth campaign, to spread its lifesaving message to Canadian women – and all women – through the power of the Red Dress. Full Story

Taupe on the Stump

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 07:05:13 March 17, 2008 07:05:13

In Boston this weekend, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner campaigned for Obama, hosting an event at a club called Rumour. I know it’s a conservative theme and a conservative crowd but faaaack… would it kill her not to dress, literally, like a hostess? On second thought – never mind. Full Story

Sino J.Lo?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 06:45:26 March 17, 2008 06:45:26

First sighting of Jennifer Lopez since she birthed her twins. As you can see, Marc looks rather bleary-eyed. And JLo looks rather Asian-eyed! Apparently she’s already lost much of her baby weight. But of course she has. People Magazine has secured the exclusive first rights to those photos. You know she worked out like a demon to look skinny in those photos. Full Story

The President & Mr Pitt

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 06:28:35 March 17, 2008 06:28:35

One sexy beast to another – Bill Clinton and Brad Pitt this weekend in New Orleans joining forces and foundations to help those devastated by Katrina. Together they broke ground on the building site where new homes will be constructed over 10 blocks, providing housing for victims of the hurricane. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

March 17, 2008 – Smutty Shout-outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2008 06:23:41 March 17, 2008 06:23:41

To Sylvia – Happy Birthday to my partner in smut, from Richie Cunningham To Leslie B in Bakersfield from Sam in Michigan – you’ve been reading my dirty blog since med school in Grenada…thank you, love you, owe you for the support. And congratulations on your recent engagement too! Less than a year to go for the M. Full Story

Friday, March 14, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The newest stars of the internet – have you met Sharon and Fred? Am obsessed with Sharon and Fred. Especially Sharon. LOVE Sharon. Particularly the way she moves her eyeballs when she’s suggesting to Fred how to celebrate their anniversary. Rewind that part over and over again. You will lose your sh*t. Or not. I am surrounded by deplorable people. We find humour in things that will send us to hell.

Click here for more information on Sharon and Fred. If that useless piece of twat Ebola Paris Hilton can become a star from a web video, why can’t Sharon and Fred? Why.The.F&ck.Not???

And… The Sarcastic Avenger.

It’s my superhero name! My superpower is the radioactive ability to interrupt cell phone reception. Sweet.

For those in America – look for that skank bag Pam Anderson on this site to find the Superhero Movie Widget. My superhero name is kinkier than my porn name…is yours?

Finally it’s Friday. Am posting all day – refresh often! Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Kate Bosworth is not a wastetful blower. Cameron Diaz isn’t either.

PPS. Robert Downey Jr is not gay and broke.

PPPS. Scarlett Johansson isn’t this demanding cow.