The Alba Player

August 22, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at August 22, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A flirtation in Vancouver, cuddling and kissing a Euro dude last week, now I’m hearing that Jessica Alba dashed back to LA this morning and is on the beach in the Palisades walking arm and arm with Cash Warren! Who was this mystery man? And how will she explain it? Alba Bitch is player. Full Story

How Much Longer?

August 22, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at August 22, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Megan Fox. They’re trying to make her out to be the next Angelina Jolie. Really? To me they all look the same - Clooney’s exes Krista Allen and Lisa Snowden, Megan Fox…I call them Blender Girls. Can’t tell them apart. But everyone saw her in Transformers, she has a crazy body, only 21, and currently shooting How to Lose Friends with Simon Pegg. Full Story

Crazy Runs Away

August 22, 2007 12:44:40 Posted at August 22, 2007 12:44:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Typical, non? Unable to confront her issues, Britney has fled the country. Local press in Belgium are reporting that she is there now, without her children who are at home with the ex. No one knows now exactly what her plans are but a restaurant owner claims she dropped in and used the loo. The woman in question was wearing a nasty ass wig and looked like sh-t. Full Story

Heels for Every Occasion

August 22, 2007 10:46:48 Posted at August 22, 2007 10:46:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Victoria Beckham dropping Cruz off for day camp in – what else? – sky high stilettos. Apparently she can’t walk in flats anymore. No…seriously. Cruz is 2 and a half. And I can hear it now, though I have no opinion on the matter given I don’t have any of my own…but the sanctimonious criticism from the mommy crowd is already gaining momentum. Full Story

The Perfect Henry is a Perfect Man

August 22, 2007 10:10:00 Posted at August 22, 2007 10:10:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sorry…can’t stop griping. Christian Bale should totally play Henry in The Time Traveller’s Wife. Eric Bana, whatever. But here he is last night at the premiere of 3:10 to Yuka with his wife Sidi. And as picture perfect as they look here, they are even more so in person. Not for the cameras but behind them. Full Story

Richie Maternity

August 22, 2007 08:37:27 Posted at August 22, 2007 08:37:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

After being turned away from Canada the other day, Nicole Richie is back in LA, shopping of course, and totally killin’ it with her personal interpretation of maternity fashion. Love the grey one piece. Full Story


August 22, 2007 08:17:25 Posted at August 22, 2007 08:17:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I admit…I was a Britney. Sure Christina had more raw talent and the better voice but still, Britney had that “It”. “IT”, unfortunately, turned out to be dumb as f&ck and lazy as ass. Meanwhile, the best will always prevail. Which is why Christina Aguilera has so gracefully evolved her career. Full Story

Crack Love is Forever

August 22, 2007 07:56:11 Posted at August 22, 2007 07:56:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty – after throwing him out dramatically and leaking to the papers her commitment to staying away from him and getting in shape and going to the gym and focusing on her daughter – well, of course they’re back together. For almost a week now the two have been shacked up in secret at Claridges, throwing raucous parties, probably getting sh-tfaced stoned. Full Story

Attempted Murder is Not a Felony

August 22, 2007 07:17:22 Posted at August 22, 2007 07:17:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For you and me? Maybe. But for Lindsay Lohan? For a celebrity who twice – that we know of, that she was arrested for – climbs behind the wheel of her car, drunk and stoned off her tree, and attempts to murder everyone on the road...this is evidently not a felony. As it turns out, the LA DA’s office will likely not be pressing charges, will likely drop the charges to misdemeanors instead, which means the most, most, most Lilo will face behind bars – which isn’t likely anyway – is 4 days. Full Story

sh-tting on the Midas Touch

August 22, 2007 06:38:18 Posted at August 22, 2007 06:38:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Straight up stupid. Genetically stupid. Chicken fried stupid. Britney Spears is so f&cking stupid. Her personal life is a disaster. Her career is a disaster – no understatement there. But then Justin Timberlake and Timbaland come along with a duet – written by Pip, produced by Timbaland, to have been recorded last month, and apparently Britney bailed at the last minute, essentially pissing away a golden opportunity, perhaps the ONLY golden opportunity, to work with the hottest, most successful partnership in music today. Full Story

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Am back in Vancouver and just in time. Ten days in my mother’s house nearly killed me.

Anyway, Shrek 3 was playing on the flight home. Total waste of time though Pippy’s voice was perfect as the young Prince. Seriously … it’s the speaking voice. But if the common complaint against David Beckham is his voice, couldn’t the same be said for Little Pip? And if talent earns forgiveness, then Becks’s prowess on the pitch surely must match JT’s skill on the stage, non?

And skilled he is. Talking is one thing. All-round performing is another. Word is JT delivered the goods last night in Toronto. As I was the first to report yesterday, Shelf Ass Jessica Biel flew in on Sunday morning to join him. She travelled with him to the arena, they entered via underground and she was seen roaming from backstage to frontstage to seats throughout the show. I’m told in concert she’s exactly as Cam was: singing along (only not as loudly) to every song, almost worshipful while watching her ticket to the A List. By all accounts, both were in fine spirits which may be why audience members say JT was much more engaging this time around. JT’s night in Toronto with the Shelf Ass – more on that later.

Tuesday, all day blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,