Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Ugh. Am having dinner with my mother tonight. Mother is in a foul mood. As a result of parking her ass in front of a slot machine for too many hours at Casino Niagara, she’s developed some kind of chronic neck and shoulder issue.

No casino for 2 months = torture your daughter

It began the other night – within an hour of arriving at our hotel, there she was, in our room, poking the back of my arm with her long ass fingernail: thought you said you were working out with a trainer?

Please let the day be long.

Thursday – new posts all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Sean Penn’s commitment is not in crisis.

It’s That Time Again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 14:40:27 July 24, 2008 14:40:27

It’s Comic-Con. An annual pilgrimage of supergeek superfans. Their excuse to pull out the Chewbacca and Storm Trooper costumes and celebrate the supernatural. Don’t laugh. Comic-Con is huge. Comic-Con is powerful. Comic-Con can make or break a movie. Iron Man owes much of its success to the reaction it received at Comic-Con. Full Story

Curvy Girls, Skinny Jeans

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 13:24:44 July 24, 2008 13:24:44

Jennifer Hudson at BET – a curvy girl rockin’ the sh*t out of a pair of skinny jeans. Love, love, love. JHud’s first album drops on September 30 and the first single Spotlight is doing reasonably well though it hasn’t taken off like she probably hopes. Weird. That she has an Oscar but musically it’s been a slower ride. Full Story

The Holy Twins vs Aniston: showdown at TIFF?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 12:17:06 July 24, 2008 12:17:06

Come September, Toronto could be flooded with Brangelunatics who are so, so, SO angry today and losing many valuable work hours over that Us Weekly cover. How dare anyone suggest that the Holy Twins were conceived in any other way but the Pitt Porn natural way. Now a change of pace… We’re a month away from festival season and my sources tell me the Brange have supposedly confirmed they’ll be at TIFF to promote Burn After Reading. Full Story

Bad Haired and Bug-Eyed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 08:22:45 July 24, 2008 08:22:45

Which actor has been much too egotistical and much too energetic on press tour recently? Let’s start with the ego first: He’s not exactly Brad Pitt or the GMD on fame terms and still he travels with a crazy security team and insists on sweeping every location before he will enter. Who the f&ck are you??? Even his own management is snickering at his grossly exaggerated sense of entitlement – hit movies don’t necessarily equate to international superstardom, and while his box office might be lucrative, his celebrity status is decidedly modest. Full Story

Tabloids Wars: The Holy Twins In Vitro!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 07:40:49 July 24, 2008 07:40:49

Safe to say Us Weekly was never in the running for the first exclusive shots of the Holy Jolie Twins. As such, in a bold pre-emptive move, Janice Min and her clever gossips are trying to squeeze as much money out of the twins-obsessed public as they can, in advance of those highly anticipated photos sure to annihilate newsstand sales for everyone else – likely in People Magazine or OK!, both bitter rivals of Us Weekly. Full Story

Where’s Téa?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 07:15:00 July 24, 2008 07:15:00

David Duchovny at the X-Files premiere last night and his wife Téa Leoni does not appear to be with him…which isn’t a big deal, only there have been loud whispers for months about his rumoured infidelity. And he’s been acting like a single man on the set of Californication, even after the cameras stop rolling. Full Story

Posh Hates Scully?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 07:06:57 July 24, 2008 07:06:57

Premiere of the new X-Files movie went down last night in LA and a pregnant Gillian Anderson absolutely glowed on the carpet. She’s a crazy bitch but I love that she doesn’t know how to pose. I love that she looks like a normal person. And beautiful. Love even more her story about Victoria Beckham. Full Story

Brad Hates Britney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 06:52:12 July 24, 2008 06:52:12

As you know, the Pitts always sell. The Chosen One always sells. Photos of the First Family of Celebrity are the most lucrative of them all. And since the Pitts have retreated to France, every time they hang out on the terrace, every time they go shopping, every time they play in the garden, those images are immediately purchased and published. Full Story

Shelfy Hates Fried Chicken

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 06:38:00 July 24, 2008 06:38:00

Oh Shelfy. So predictable. It was widely reported yesterday that Britney and Justin will be reuniting professionally for a duet, according to OK! Magazine. Here’s what I wrote at the end of the article: Besides, adding Chicken Fried back in (Pip’s) diet would most certainly push Shelf Ass off the map. Full Story